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 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
messages
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
I figured
I'm going to stop
messaging you first
because I know
if I wasn't saying "hi"
we wouldn't be talking
again, dedicated to him.
 Jun 2014 Null
Tyler Lynn Pulliam
Union and Grand

I moved into this house less than a year ago
and already three gun related murders have occurred
within a three block radius; two of them involving children.
I'm not making this **** up.
Those numbers wouldn't be anything exciting for a population
hitting upwards of the millions,
but this is not a big city.
This is the heartland.
-
The city paid for a series of strategically placed dead ends,
forced turns, and surveillance equipment to be installed
in the area of about a mile surrounding my house.
No wonder they call this place "The Trap".
They keep changing the maze,
and studying us like rats.
-
They had a make-do memorial for the little girl who got shot.
They attached her stuffed animals, cards, and photos to a utility pole
on the corner of Union and Grand. The city had it taken down.
Some kind of city ordinance
from some dusty tome at the town hall.
Kids killing kids, and the shots keep firing.
-
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not what'd you call an activist.
But when bloodshed occurs within eye shot of where you sleep,
you start to get a little irked.
These kids have as much potential as me, and twice as much grit.
Their teachers barely even know their names,
let alone what it's like to be deprived of privilege.
-
I'll stomp this concrete until my feet break.
This labyrinth is my constant reminder and reality check.
I am here, and you are there.
This connection is suspended on silver threads and I am your puppet.
Mold me into your angst driven dreamboat.
Because tomorrow, I'm just going to wake up here. **Tyler
.
-
This soul has been folded seven times
and I grow tired of this reality.
There was a time when I could scream loud enough to wake the dead.
I guess I'm showing the symptoms
of an accidental child
with a tongue that only tastes art as bitter protest.
-
I'd tear my face off
to know if this is really getting through to you.
The face in the photo is that of the goat; the false idol and deceiver.
A Knight of Pentacles, selling you gold plated garbage.
Odin-kin.
You always feel like I have a secret to keep; my fist is in the air.
The most personal piece so far.
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
fragile
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
you took
every bit of happiness
and stored it
in a fragile case

you took
all my love
and stored it there, too

so when
you dropped
my case

my happiness
and love
were shattered

and you
walked away
still whole
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
Untitled
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
i used to think
i wasn't okay
and i wasn't happy
but then
you came
and changed it
and made me
feel different
and for that
I
am
thankful
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
Untitled
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
i hate to quote a song
but they say that love is forever
i hate to quote a movie
but we accept the love we think we deserve
i thought i deserved more
i thought  our love was forever
but it was 2 AM
and you left me
**again
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
Untitled
 Jun 2014 Null
ardeen
so i'm sorry
for asking for more
and hoping
and praying
you felt the same
and hoping
and praying
the nights up meant
something
obviously
i
was
wrong
continuation.

— The End —