If you are looking for me
I will be at 3 am
with the poets
searching for the right words to illustrate emotion
with the painters
who feel words are not enough
with the doubters
staring at the ceiling, feeling they aren't worth it
with the prayers
looking to the light for the strength they rely on
with the dreamers
living with a whole universe in there head
with the believers
positive their dreams will come true
with the broken hearters
whose dreams fought with reality
with the troubled
finding it hard to shut their brain off

So if you are looking for me
the poets, the painters
the doubters, the prayers
the dreamers, the believers
the broken hearters, the troubled
and me
will all be
at 3 am

I have a confession
I must make
Its eating me up
It keeps me awake
I have an addiction
My soul keeps craving
It always longs for more
It will never stop chasing
The thing I'm addicted to
It's always in my mind
It controls my thoughts
Takes up my precious time
So here it goes
this is hard to concede
me, Kelly Anne
I am addicted to poetry

Poetry constantly runs through my brain
metaphors and rhyming couplets fall like the're rain
If I write a poem, after I just want to read another
I read a poem then write one because I get so inspired
But then I feel my poem isn't good enough
I impulsively write another to redeem myself, it never stops
Soon my thoughts have there own rhyme scheme;
broken into lines, filled with imagery to set a scene
They have a rhythm and are said in a certain tone
Poems always rolling though my head, especially when I'm alone
At night I twist and turn and try to escape
But then I write a poem about inevitable fate
I can't stop the poetry, It takes over my life
Its the poems that keep me up at night

So I guess until they find a cure
I'll live in my little poetry filled world

all hail the prom queen
just another carbon copy
but they gave her a crown
so she has something to feel special about

but what makes her royalty
she’s just like the rest
maybe it’s the lower cut dress
or the way she makes you feel less

all of the girls want to be just like her
but little to they know they’re just like her
they never gave themselves a chance
to find their own way
do their own dance
darling you need to do your own dance

instead they just all hail the prom queen
transform into a carbon copy
but only one queen gets a crown
nothing left to feel special about

i’ve seen dark
i’ve seen charcoal storms
i’ve seen a grey hell

but i didn’t know that’s what i was seeing

not until i saw lavender smiles
autumn breeze laughs
and apricot sunshine

Here's to ends and beginnings
to loses and to winnings
to big smiles and streams of tears
to the newfound hope of overcoming fear

Here's to long days and longer nights
here's to always putting up a fight
to breaking rules from time to time
here's to the poems that always rhyme

Here's to being scared of change
to wanting things to be like the old days
here's to falling for an illusion
here's to just being human

the seasons will change
they’ll be clear they’ll be rain
but it’s you who will always have love
I may be far
I may forget you, break my heart
then you’ll piece it back together from above

you are apricot sunshine
skipping stones in glitter
you are mint flavored rain
you are love
you are raspberry leaves
and sweet tasting days
and a bubblegum reminder
that everything will be okay

i cant be bothred to use my grammer
or fix my typos
im just tired
im always just
tired

gently kind
mentally mad

they never see
just what’s inside
they freckle faced head
that ginger hair of lies

her deceitful smell of roses
shields dark ****** nights

You know I still get lost in those eyes
Stay there for a little while,
but then your smile brings me back to life
You know I still get caught up in the moments
where we both lean in,
then pull away real quick

We still have that connection
Air heavy with tension
When will we stop pretending
That we wish these moments were never ending

We still wish our hands were clasped in one another's
We still feel the need to protect each other
We still want to hold each other into the night
You still dream of seeing me dressed in white

But we don't call it romance anymore
So no  one can get hurt
We don't call it romance anymore
too scared of being left in the dirt

But we both know
what we feel
I guess this is what life is like
When your afraid of anything real

blank page
coffee stains
falling apart
empty heart

she hasn't met
who she longs for yet

but she keeps dreaming
until then its all
blank page
coffee stains
falling apart
because of an empty heart

here i am
seven years older now
lived five lives
since my mad dash from that town
new hair
but i still think about
how i'll never forget you

in seven years
you'd think that i'd grow up
i guess i gained more faith
but a little less trust
something about you i can't get enough
did you forget me?

or do you still see my eyes
in the old street light
on the corner of gavin drive

do you feel my smile
when  the sun shines down
on the hideout where we rode our bikes

do you hear my voice
when the wind blows through the trees
next to your front porch

do you feel me with you
in every breath you take

Oh, what a heavenly afternoon,
would it be,
to spend it with you.
To spend it learning about the vastness
of your mind,
and the complexity
of your smile,
and what exactly creates that *******
sparkle in your eyes.
A truly heavenly afternoon.

I want to do it, I say
I should do it, I say
I can do it, I say
I can't do it, I say
Why am I doing it, I say
I can't do it, I say
I shouldn't do it, I say
Wow! I did it.

Jagged lines across a page
for everyone else, would fall into place
But for me
there is no way to see
what I want to say
Just jagged lines across a page

I saw things
nobody knows
I know things
you don't show
You know
my fascination
You know your
my inspiration
I can explain
why you do what you do
I can't explain
why I know you
But I know
what lies in your soul
I don't really know you but somehow
I know you in whole

I  used to look at you and see
pig tails and neon shoes
I used to hear you talk about
arts and crafts and cool cartoons
I used to talk to you and you seemed like
a kind soul, just tangled in some drama
I used to know you and you were,
harmless sometimes you got hurt but you always ran back to mama

Then kids grow up
Miss pigtails and neon shoes grows up
brains grow
bodies grow
souls grow
feelings grow
bad feelings grew
very bad feelings
a forced possessed you

I don't know where these feelings came from though
I don't know where these decisions came from though
I don't know where this monster came from,
though

I don't see you anymore
you wouldn't do something like this
I know that
I hope that

I don't see you anymore
I just see a
monster

she was flying
she was thriving
that girl is on fire
she has friends
she has passions
sunshine for a smile
she has everything she needs
everything she wants
and a little bit more
she keeps climbing
she’s on top
and now she’s crying on the bathroom floor

oh no I’m crying on the bathroom floor

She wanted a prince charming
but she was looking in the wrong place
because
Who knew a prince charming
could be dressed in a worn beanie and tattoos
Who knew a prince charming
could keep he head down
and be from the other side of town
Who knew a prince charming
could understand every corner
of his princess' soul, so well
Who knew a prince charming
and a lost princess
could love each other
so much

He looked into the eyes of Rosa
Because she had something to say
But no words were spoken
She told the whole story with her face

Raise of an eyebrow
Tightening of her jaw
Her two eyes became narrow
And he heard it all

Two souls
on opposite corners of
the room
get closer
Then a little bit closer,
than they've ever been before

Two loves
on the same page of
Rosa's book
fall in love
Then a little more in love
than Rosa ever planned for

Her name was Sarah M. Walker
The M stands for Marie
And she didn't want to change her name
If she ever got married
She loved the smell of gentle roses
and the sound of melodic violins  
She captured her favorite moments with photographs
and always secretly wanted a twin
She always said her prayers at night
and deeply loved her mother
She wore her hair in cascading waves
and was never a good bluffer
She read all about her world and others
and admired every act of bravery
And if she ever had a daughter
She wanted to name her Avery
She cherished all her time alone
because herself was her best friend
Fascinated by the things
she could never fully comprehend
Her name was  Sarah M. Walker
The M stands for Marie
And she didn't want to change her name
If she ever got married

she got that way with words
that eats through your soul
she got that fire, it burns
all the birds up above
she got eyes that pay
way more than any money
she got that stance, that glace
saying I don't need a honey
she got the magic, that draws in
every man, every woman
she got that power to say
no, I am my own person

she got that space inside
everyone of us
But sometimes we just don't
let her out enough

heart racing
mind stopping
feet moving
mind wandering

wishing
dreaming of
blissfully
leaving

what I could of done
should of done
would of done
didn’t
eat a hole
through my soul

added to the room
where my insecurities brew

Tik
a second passes
Tok
another one gone
Tik
each one her fists clenched harder
Tok
eyes squinted ready to strike
Tik Tok Tik Tok Tik Tok
she sat
as a bomb
waiting to go off
each blink,
each bitten nail,
each pencil tap,
each thought,
brought us all closer
to the explosion

waiting to turn her world upside down
as she often did when life stomped all over her
or simply when she got bored of the usual
waiting to turn everyone's world upside down

because when she went through that door
she new just what she was going to do
her victim, clueless
the filmer, ruthless
the people, not expecting this
her, heartless

so then it happened
she erupted
she did to her victim what she felt life did to her
and everyone felt the ripple
by the next hour everyone felt the feeling
the rush,
the shock,
some felt the despair,

it started as simply an odd day
but by the end
our whole world was dented
her,
she sat
recharging from,
thanking people who stood by her during,
relieved of the feelings from,

the fight.

I once read that the worst thing
one could do
is to **** a mockingbird
but is that true
because killing innocence
could be a favor
its going to happen
sooner or later

So maybe the worst thing
one could do
is to stain her white dress
the only thing that made her feel cute
but even then it might help her realize
she doesn't need that dress
her heart
is enough to impress

But what if the worst thing
one could do
is to knock down his house
the one he built, not you
but he will just grow angry
and grow stronger
and build a bigger, better house
you will be jealous no longer

But really
the worst thing
one could do
is to treat a dog as a fly
they are different from them and different from you
because a dog is a dog
and a fly is a fly, both are a bless
so treat them how they are supposed to be treated
we are all different, but no one shall be treated less

they said he was dangerous
but she longed for some danger
they said he was a ******
but she was too
they said he was lost
but she just wanted to be found
they said he grew up on the wrong side of town
but she was bored of little, perfect, bland universe
they said she was too pretty for him
but he was the most beautiful creature she had ever gazed upon
they said they knew him
but they haven't even began to uncover the magic, the fascination, the elegance of the darkness that breathes inside of him
they said no one could love him
but she told him she loved him
and he said he loved her too

I saw the fire,
From the depth of her soul
Radiate through the glass that encased her eyes
Within she holds
A companion, a friend, a few jokers
A mom, sister and brother
A father, a helper, an enemy
An acquaintance and a lover

But fire still kindled in those eyes
The flames burned through the souls
Of supporters, still supporting
But no longer feel whole
Their still cheering, wishing,
Dreaming for you to come back
But with your fiery eyes,
You attack

Fire can’t burn forever
Your ways will come to an end
But what we are asking is
will it be too late, then

i said nothing is perfect
but then i saw your smile
i said that love is for suckers
but then i stared into your eyes for a while
i knew that i was pretty
but never that i was desirable
and i said that i would always stand tall
but now your watching me fall
                                                          fall
                                                                   fall
after all that i said, my forced apologies
i’m wondering why your not here to catch me

you, I
dark nights, starry skies
silent smiles, loud cries
long road, worn car
heavy music, healing scars
twisted thoughts, big dreams
hearts bursting at the seams
lost hope, warm embraces
full moon, astray faces
four eyes, two souls
untamed emotions, no control
deep talks, moonlight
just us, and the night

wild eyes
windows to a twisted mind
leads down to an untamed heart
all controlled by a beautiful soul

you might be crying
you might have waterfalls cascading down from those shimmering scarred tear ducts
collecting down in a stormy ocean of violent waves
as you treacherously try to stay afloat
screeching for air as you try to stay afloat in the vast abyss that is
your mind
but one day darling,
you will dance
you will dance freely into the night
and suddenly everything is alright