Word for word.
A poem devolopes
Death, death, death.
An ongoing story of sadness.
Pain, pain, pain.
Hopelessness.
Each word rhymes with suicide.
Word for word.
A testament of my pain.
Every word another story.
Word for word.
A story is created.
Every word holds emotions.
And lost hopes.

But writing them down saves me,
from ending my own.
So bare with me as I write.
Because as long as I keep writing,
the story continues.

Life is an unexpected thing if you’re not prepared for anything that’s get in your way you’re not ready for life itself. - **Jacob Cuadro

when I write love poetry
I imagine a beautiful woman
sitting at a table
across a scattered bunch of souls
at a random diner
in a random place
reading a book
I see her
and I am immobilized
by the sudden rush of blood
and the sudden feeling of longing
and with every page she turns
both grow stronger inside me
she's the kinda woman
who's soul shines
right through her skin
with a loud silence
who unintentionally captivates
with her grace of an angel
then she looks at me
and smiles
oh **** how she smiles
and all I can think to do is write
write of the way
she makes me forget my past
and my pain
because they are out felt
by the feeling
that everything was leading me
to this woman
and that smile
write of the way
I am feeling right now
like a meteor of cosmic beauty
just shot from the sky
down into the seat
that's in front of me
write of the way
I can see every moment together
that lies before us
all the laughter
the touching
the passion
the love
the entire rest of my life with her
is in this pen
the all and every effect
of her in-conceived beauty
every feeling she inspires
every thought she lures
is in this pen
and I could sit until dawn
and just write all of it out
in pages and books
stained with tears
and sweat
and love
all for her to read
in hopes that it will ignite
the same feeling
of fire in her heart
the same feeling
of pins under her skin
the same taste of love on her tongue
that I feel when I look at her
that I capture when I write my poetry ...

and maybe one day
my words will come to life
my poetry will breathe
and I won't need to imagine a beauty
I have not yet found to exists
and my words will stand before me
in all of their guts and glory
and that will be all she wrote
or maybe one day
I will have to become that beauty myself
only time can really tell
will I manifest my imaginations
or will the creator become the creation

A for anxiety
and that is what i have
B for blue
the color of my feelings
C for cold feet
because mine are freezing in this storm
D for depressed
and that is not all
E for evil
that is what is all around
F for fear
and i was it all
G for greed
baby i am greeding for you
H for hate
thats what i feel for all
I for ignore
and you all are doing
J for jealous
and I am dressed in it
K for killed
because I just killed myself
L for loser
because I am the big fat L
M for missing
for what I am now
N for negative
because this is what I writing
O for old
I am a old soul
P for pain
and I am in a lot of it
Q for quit
because I am a quieter
R for reject
you humans push me to be
S for sad
sadder that i ever have been
T for threatening
For threatening my life
U for ugly
and I am 100.99%
V for vile
and my blood to have it
W for wound
My wounds to never to be fixed
X for xeroxing
because that is my word
Y for you
I wish to be you
Z for zero
and I am less than that

Roses are red
I'm done