Kai - Hello Poetry

Kai Jun 13

My life
Practically meaningless
Im useless
People would like me better if I were dead
People wouldn't care
Who would
They wouldn't
It'll be fine
1 slit
2 slit
3 maybe 4
Watching the blood drip down
Down my thigh
Down my arm
On my hand
Dripping
Down
Painful when touched
Its fine
Painful in the shower
Oh well
Painful with clothes on
Im fine
It doesn't matter
No one will notice
No one has to know
The blood dripping
Blood dripping
Dripping
Down
Over and over
No one cares
Where is it?
Where is the blade
No
Don't touch it
Its fine.
Everything will be fine
Just a little pain
Let me just....
Cut...
One more...
Just one more....
Just one more time....
Please..
It helps the pain..

#suicide #sui #sh #depression #selfharm #mentalhealth

Kai Jun 10

Love

My love
Your everything I've ever needed
No matter what you think
Your my everything
Your everything someone could want
Who cares if you have problems?
I dont
Because you make me feel like its ok
You make me feel safe
You are home.
Your more than I've ever needed
I love you.
Your more than you think you are.
So so much more.
Your amazing my love
I love you sweetheart.
More than I've ever thought I would

Kai May 14

For those who care

For those of you who care
No
I am not ok
I feel like everyone hates me
I try my best
But it's never enough
I give my all into those i care about
But some people drain me
While yes
I do still care
I cant do this anymore
I know my love
You blame yourself
It's not your fault

Kai Apr 30

Anyone?

Does anyone actually care?
Or do they just act like it
Im sorry to those i hurt
Im trying my best
Im sorry my love
Sorry that i hurt you
I didn't mean to
Does anyone actually see how i am
"you can rely on me. You rely on people to much."
Im sorry im not the perfect girl you want me to be
I just cant rely on you
I just need to survive
Thats all
Nothing else
Its fine
Im fine
Dont worry

Not that good but oh well

#depression #cptsd #life

Kai Apr 28

Please dont go...

Does he hate me?
Are they mad at me?
What have I done?
What have I done to make you mad?
What can I do to fix it?
Can I fix it?
Will you let me?
Can I help?
You want to be left alone?
You don't want to be around me?
They do hate me.
What do I do?
How can I fix this?
Please don't leave.
Please don't.
Don't go.
Let me make it up to you.
Somehow.
Please?
Talk to me.
Please?
Don't leave me like this.
Please don't.
I know I'm annoying.
I know.
I can't help it.
Oh.
You don't want me around.
Do you not care?
Do you not see how this hurts me?
Do you not see my pain?

Kai Apr 1

My love

They're more than they seem
They hold the key to my heart
They know how I feel
They know what I want
They know what I'm thinking
I love them with all my heart
They're mine
Im their's
If they left i wouldn't know what to do
I love them more than anything
I love you so so much my love

#love #relationship

Kai Mar 28

My sibling

My sibling is always there
If I'm dealing with the worst they're right there for me
No matter what i can tell them anything
They've been asking for a while to read my poems
Probably not expecting some to be about them
My sibling
I'll always love you
I'll always be there for you when times are tough
No matter what you can tell me anything
I cant wait till I can hug you
My amazing sibling

I didn't realize I didn't post this

#sibling