Alone I am
But for how long ask I,
No longer in doubt.
I can feel as any man,
Just as much as any man,
Just as strong as any man.

Forlong asking,
Indeed I shall
But no longer from spite
Oh, oh not me
For done I am
Among such enterprise.

Forlorn I go
Yes, I go
To another place far from known
To journey and find,
A new meaning
A new meaning to understand
To understand, and read
To read, and sing
To sing, and cry;
Not from woe nor ail
But gladness, yes gladness
That runs as a river
True and strong,
Strong and firm
Firm yet formless.
Indeed as a river.

Tired yes, of the struggle
I've been struck and roughed,
I've naught left to fight for
I've naught left to live for.
But if you're meant to be the one
I'll fight? No
For tiredness has succumbed me,
Pain has befallen me.

Is this worth the pain?
The sadness and weariness?
I say neither yay nor nay
No, I'll save that answer,
Yes, for when it matters, truly matters.
No more I beg of thee,
My wounds are open, they're oozing
I'm wailing.

Oh, behold! And there she goes
A light on her eyes, shimmering
Of joy and gladness? Yes, perhaps
Such gladness I'll find not
Nor today nor tomorrow, no, not me
It is beyond my reach, not for her
No, she's the past, a cloudy past
Cloudy yet vivid and forgetful past.

Such love I've not felt since...
Yes, since my mum's,
Never since, never again
Of such fate I'm aware, painfully aware.
I'll be alone from now on, not from spite but choice.
For he who lives alone, is bound to love alone,
And that I now need
For wounded I've been.

There was once a love in my sight
Yes, undaunted love from a side,
There were roses and clovers
But now we are only loners.
'Tis such fate, a foreseeable fate
In which is understood not
The love that's not answered but rather
That which makes you last.

And so it goes then, we loved
I loved indeed, she loved as well,
A love that shines through all
A love that as wine aged.
Yes, yes, such love I recall
Beautiful it was, yes awe-inspiring,
Nearly it broke my heart
When such love was left all stranded.

But this new love is never aging
Forever young, forever supple
Yes, forever changing, yet unmoving
Never leaving, always touching.
So with this new love I'm armoured
I'm covered and protected,
Never to be hurt again,
For she is come, everlasting.

Oh my beloved, why dost thou flee?
Oh my beloved, what dost thou feel?
Oh my beloved, whatever reason to go
Remember our love is forever bound.

Wherever you flee my sweetling
Remember me oh sweetling,
For wherever thou mayest hide
Remember oh my love for thee.

Though we may fly apart forever more
Oh our love, beware of our love
For it may compel us to look back
So this says I:
"Seek thy wings for us never to come back".

Oh my beloved,
Though beloved indeed you are
Alone is thy path, alone from mine
And alone is mine, alone from thine own
So we grow far apart, yes
But remember forever "My beloved you are".

I tried to hope, but it was for naught
I tried to fight, I tried to stand
I tried to last, now I can't even dance
I ran and ran but couldn't escape
I flew and flew 'till been brought down
The wings are heavy, uplifting, yet heavy

Yes, everlasting is love
But so is struggling, the fighting, the hunger
Heavy's such burden, my wings can't but crumble.
Dark'ning it goes, my arms feel light
Way too light, they seem to fly
Fly but fall thereafter, for heavy I am.

I go, yes I go, I cannot bear it anymore
Disappear as I once did, to heal?
No, 'tis but an escape, so fear I'll face not
Not anymore.
Seven days or seven hours feel the same
All with such pain is the same.

And so I went, I escaped, I left
Did it help? Perhaps, I know not
I'm gone, my mind is gone,
While my body lasts I shall stay
I've naught left to say,
Just to struggle, I'll stay.

The tears of denial bring about closure
With such tears there is no room for leisure,
Oh but dost thou talk about perfection
When golden were these tender tears
There was naught but realisation.

These tender tears were made with zeal
For a time yet to think about,
To talk about, or cry about.
Indeed that was their right
To fight not, but love everlasting.

Oh! but truly, how did we truly love!
'twas but a setback yet unknown
Yet still to be looked upon,
Yet still to be felt upon,
Yes it was all left upon my tender tears!

And now there is no time,
No planning left nor word unsaid.
Now it's only cold,
Such cold that froze my tender tears,
That dauntless cold I've felt for oh so long!

Through a common friend
I met her once,
Years ago this was
I thought said friend and her
Were something else
So I blocked her from my mind.

I few months back
This came to life
I met her once again
But with a new light in my eyes.

Fair she seemed this time
Lovely and kind.
At her silly own jokes she'd laugh
Then suddenly serious and caring she became
Yes, she showed immense care.

She made me laugh
I made her laugh
Though my jokes she claimed not to get
She'd laugh nevertheless.

The way she laughed was oh so cute:
She'd cover her own mouth
And burst in plenty a tear
Of carelessness and joy.

So why did she laugh
At my senseless jokes?
I'll never understand.
For a time I thought there was something there
Although now it's clear there was naught.

With someone else she now lays,
A surprise to me
For she answered so carefree.
Regardless, it's obvious now
Everything she was to me,
To her, naught I was.

So I try to heal
I try to grow
I try to get my wings once more
For lost to me they are.

A struggle it has been
To climb such mountain of regrets
A choice not to say what I had felt
All those days ago.

So great separation I now face,
Long has this fight been.
With lows and highs,
I'll try never to look back.

For yes!
Everything to me she was,
And nothing to her was I.