I don't know why I hate myself so much.
How can I loath the body I was gifted,
Cry over the sincereness of my very own personality.
How can I tear down the height of my happiness,
Look myself in the delusive mirror just to accept it's biting lies.
How can I break this beastly habit?

Hey, I don’t know your name, but I see you in the hallway.
And when I see you smiling, it kind of makes my day.

You dress really nice,
Especially compared to the other guys.

I like your glasses and the way you do your hair.
You don’t have to talk to me if you've got someone-
Or maybe you don’t care…

Just know this took me a lot of guts, because I’m really shy.
I never really took a chance or ever really tried …

So now it’s up to you, I guess, as to what you want to do-
I understand if you think this is weird, I honestly can’t blame you.

It’s just, if I don’t put myself out there, I guess I’ll always wonder
About why I hadn't done a thing like this back when I was younger.

It's a lot like the feeling
One of those times
When he'd not text me
Or call me back for a few days
Except,
This time lasts a lot longer

Like a breakup
Except,
Neither one of us specified a
breaking point

I don't want to move on though
'cause
that means I did it without you

And we do everything together.
We go everywhere together
I'll go anywhere with you

And the clouds in your eyes
The sun in your smile
Your meteorite soul
You've got me forever.

do we you or i live life? I think so

we live life and experience things like the cosmos – nebula's, constellations and galaxies the speckled white backdrop of purple green on a black satin sky at night – so magnificent

we live life and experience things like that hobo – cold and homeless an image of pure sadness we look at the wretch and feel despair – he smiles, his shallow and sickly eyes say the opposite. So we wonder what is his story, his history – a mask

we live life and experience things like a rainbow – an optical illusion that has no end and no beginning, it is infinite and we reach and reach and grasp and grasp and and we never get a grip – a mirage

we live life and experience things like children – inebriated adults proclaiming a grin of innocence and a smile of sweetness in small form – we cling to our youth, much like the rainbow or the lion seeking his prey we hunt for it – its momentary *

we live life and experience things like exhilaration – riding a roller coaster, a high speed car chase – watching a man land on the moon, falling in love, and the times when childlike excitement fill our bodies – *the escape

life is so magnificent, who we are behind the mask, how we see a mirage, and its momentary fleeting passing, and our escape –**living for the escape.

You were as stealthy as a slow gas leak, by the time i knew i was in love with you, i had succumbed to you. You were in the drivers seat of my car lighting a cigarette with the windows up so i could breathe you in. I quit smoking so your secondhand smoke was all you would allow. I watched as you brought the cigarette to your lips and dragged in as if your life depended on it. It was your third one today and i told you that you should stop, maybe breathe me in for a second. Do you know what i would give to become second hand smoke from your lips? All you would have to do is kiss me and i would vanish into thin air, become a noble gas in the periodic table but there is nothing noble about the element of disappearance. I have been shrinking away from you ever since you held my hand in that convenience store a year ago. I'm trying to convince myself to get over you because all i am to you is someone to **** slowly through your second hand smoke. I never knew I could get so addicted to nicotine until it came from under your tongue. When you're gone, it's hard for me to breathe which doesnt make sense because when youre here my lungs are filled with your sweet black tar. But you will be gone for months when you leave in two weeks. You said you'd write to me, but written words can't carry your second hand smoke. You can't build a home out of a human being, but that doesn't mean i cant find a home in your bed.

crown jellyfish,
i want you for my own,
to constantly float and hover
on my ceiling.

it seems to be too much to ask
the transparent glory
the delicate tendrils
the secretive nature

why do you want to hide
in the seas?
predator and prey
instead of being
a distraction for me?

i want you to go against
your nature
remake your breath
forego your nourishment
and glow for me, instead

why is the world
so unyielding,
crown jellyfish?
so inflexible and unkind
sticking to its earthly rules?

for me you would be
a thing of beauty
not just a creature
trying to survive

but this cannot be so
instead i must mimic you
use you as inspiration
and create new
t h i n g s

it's a shame, really.

I know you and all your little antics, I know how you hesitate every time you go to say my name because the memories and guilt and feelings will roll off your tongue like the tide, and you are too crowded to let anyone else drown in the sweet sound of your voice. I know how you lie awake at night trying to piece together every shard from that mirror you broke when you were 9, and how nothing quite fits anymore, you have lost parts of your old self and your clumsy hands will break an imminent future because you know not what needs fixing and what just cannot be helped. I live in your every bated breath and am often reminded why it is such a wasteland, I know how your heart can turn colder than the cloud of air exhaled when you sigh and shake your head at the world around you. Do not think for one second I do not know you, because in the three years I have loved you we have shared secrets, stories, memories and love, yes, for a time, we shared love. But that is a time long since passed and now I reside in the marks on your skin where your father hit you, I inhale the smoke from your lungs caused by people blowing their blackened words down your throat and making you feel less like the crimson sunset you are and more like the rainy days. You are beautiful and I wish you could see that from my perspective, I wish you could see how your eyes reflect the colours of the ocean and I wish to be lost at sea, I wish you could know that I think your heart is a galaxy, not a black hole, so you need not worry about all my rusted parts chipping at you because your strong arms will bring these dead eyes back to life, like they have so often. I want you to know that you are perfect in my eyes, flawed, yes, but no less perfect. I want you to know I love you.