It's too early to say this, but I miss you dearly in these lonely midnight moments. You bring the most poetic feelings out in me.

Did I forgive you too easily?
I tried to be angry.
But you have this effect on me.
I know it sounds silly.
As I sit here; smiling.
You said you were looking at me.
I wonder now what it is you were seeing?
I tell you all the time.
Won't you do the same?
Point out the little things.
There has to be so many.
I'm afraid one day I won't be the same and you won't want me.
That my body will have changed.
I want you to tell me I'm pretty.
I don't believe it's ever been said.
You've touched me. Made me feel you wanted me. Begging. But you've never really told me. I think you're amazing. But it's always me. I've got a goofy look on my face and I'm biting down on my index finger. Wishing you would say something. Instead. You kiss me, too hard this time. Are you trying to tell me something? Just say it. Please. Just say it.

The dress I bought to wear today was covered in daisies when I put it on this morning. Now the daisies have all withered away. Shriveled up into black seams. In the car, I curled my hair and placed pressed powder upon my face. Later I added wings to the corners of my eyes, and when I cried;  the spots that were left behind reminded me of birds hanging from a tree. Little ropes wrapped around their necks.
For a long while, I sat next to a roasting fire. My feet against grey brick. An anger in my gut swelling. I stared into a flame as it crackled and hissed at me. Took tiny sips of whiskey and swore to never speak your name again. They passed the bottle around, and when it reached me I looked at it wildly and took a swig. Counted bubbles; one, two, three.
They asked me. On repeat like a broken record. "Is he coming?" I didn't know what to say. Goosebumps covered my entire body. I felt silly. Oh so silly.

Tomorrow is creeping closer. I can feel it on me like a mosquito. *******.
I wonder if it took enough if I could get dizzy?
Where are you now and what are you doing?
I imagine a woman who's gone grey. Who's loud but not angry.
Does she look like you?
I can't find you in her face.
Maybe it's hiding?
Behind liquor stains and foul breath.
I told someone yesterday
You are like unlike any man I've ever known.
You were a boy. But it's hard to picture you as anyone but who you are today.
Someday I hope I can call you by name.
There's an album playing.
I'm searching for the words you'll probably never hear me say.
They are between "pope will role" and "IPC"
I was warned. But no one knows you like I do. Not even me.
It's true that you've never been anything but.
You've told me again and again.
It's still early we say.
And fall asleep.
It's been so long since you've touched my face. I'm old and wrinkling.
Nobody's innocent she says.
Not even our hearts, wherever they may be.
Maybe they're running away?

The sky is grey this morning.
The night is over, but it is still sleeping (as we should be)
I don't think the moon has purged itself entirely.
Somewhere above us, it is in hiding.
How can I say-
I am lost in you, and there is no finding-
Every road is a dead end in it's own way.
All that I know is that I am not afraid.
The water dripping down from the planters does not drown me.
It feeds me.
Gives me words that I turn to poetry.
A light from a television screen.
Black curtains and my feet aching.
This blister will remind me of a lifeless body.
It burns as I sweat profusely.
The constant buzz from cars passing and the sweet ****** of a wooden wind chime sang us to sleep.
I felt you touch me.
You put your hands in between my legs, and kissed my shoulder blade.
Thank you.
It made my stomach weak.
Queasy.
You never promised me anything.
But if I woke you in the middle of the night, would you caress my face?
Do you want to know what I want?
Besides you (nothing but you)
I want you here to hold me.
I want you to say something.
Put me in your movie.
Make it clever and witty.
I want you to say you-
Is it coming?
Will I ever see the sun?

I dreamed of ou last night.
You stood on the opposite side of a street.
I called out to you.
But you didn't hear me.
When I approached you, you smiled silently.
Then kissed me.
I knew then and there, this couldn't possibly be reality.
And woke, covered in sweat.
Crying.

I wish you were here.
It's late and I am lonely.
Somewhere, you have a collection of images.
I wonder when you look at them, what you think of me?
I think of you each time my heart beats.