...unless it's with me.

Dating you is anti-climatic
and I'd be ****** if I ever
succumb to a part of me
begging to be cut loose from you.

I don't want to be swallowed by
the euphoria derived from
vintage pictures and videos;
I know that the saccharine
comfort will be both
short-lived and lachrymose.

I don't want to have to
flip through your new pictures daily,
searching for remnants of the love we shared
through the new love you'd then be experiencing.

Usually,
I'd wish nothing but the best
but I want the worse for you.

My mental is too detrimental
to handle you and another.
I don't want to wake up
from constant nightmares
leaving my stomach tied in knots
you'd only see on TV.

I don't want to sit at family dinners alone
when you were suppose to be there with me.
I don't want to have to look at chocolate desserts
and remember how it's your favorite
so although I detest chocolate,
I eat it anyway to somehow
suppress the feeling of you not being there.

I don't want to watch you fall in love with another.
You carry a part of me
every time you're apart from me
and I'd rather you cheat
than to follow what seems like tradition
and leave.

I don't want to watch you fall in love with another.
I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
and I'm down on both knees
pleading please,
oh please

I don't want to watch you fall in love
...unless it's with me.

24/7 I've got you on my mind.
Measuring Life by memories, not by time.
With you, it's just energy combined.
What happens next, anyone's guess, for us, it's fine.

When you're away, I'm aware, something's bare,
The music of bliss missing from the air.
Discussions on Systems so one-sided from my mind,
Need your sly senses and thoughts divine.

I need your laugh and your humor is medicine.
Our accents, excessive, we do it again.
Feel freer than when I'm with my own **** friend.
'Cause together, it's easy, no need to pretend.

24/7 I've got you on my mind,
Still glowing from the last, blissful time,
We got together, always divine,
What happens next, anyone's guess, for us, it's fine.

We thrive in sunshine, amongst our roots
Of Natural land without man-made roofs,
We wash our Spirits clean in sweat-soaked boots.
Only to get ***** again in our bedrooms.

When you're there, not a care, worries rare,
Everything is perfect that we've shared.
Your kindness, you care, the way we pair,
My thoughts of you, lovely, here or there.

24/7 I've got you on my mind,
These words, another way to remind
That in you, I find a one-of-a-kind,
What happens next, anyone's guess, for us, it's fine.

You and your reckless abandon made me feel beautiful.
I felt like Christmas lights in October,
still shining bright, still hung.

And one day,
as you held me softly in your arms,
you told me you loved me.

I was the only real "family" you had left.
On account of your father chopping up your mother and all.

Told me you loved me,
the words I've always wanted to hear,
the words I have made my tongue bleed on,
the words I have broken my jaw with trying to keep
them from coming out.

You told me we will never get married.
Told me to get a boyfriend,
and when I shook my head and said I "don't like anyone" ,
you grabbed my hair in your fist and kissed me,
your wet tongue sliding into my warm mouth.

"Ah, little one. But you like me."

I see you like I would see my father,
you see me like a little sister,
like a young girl half your age you can protect,
can kiss on the head,
can hold close.

A girl you can **** from behind, your fingers in my mouth.
A 19 to your 38.

A girl you introduce as "I see her as a little sister"
while you have my scent on your thighs.
A girl you can never marry, but oh god, do you love her.

You told him, with 70 pounds of high grade marijuana on the table: "This is my little girl gone gangster.
I'm leaving for a while but she's holding down my game.
Treat her right and she'll do you the same."

And I will.

In truth, I love to love you and I live to love you.

And I'll take your ***** type of ****** love over not having you.