i am sexually attracted to pencils.

Life is a cruel mistress
she will beat you down
then turn around
and tell you its all your fault

She'll twist all your demons
and make them come alive
through waking hours
and sleep

She'll gladly psh your drug of choice
weather its coke
or a razor
alchol
or ***
and scream at you till you use

you want to lay down
and surrender
praying she
will have mercy

Because fighting her saps all your energy
But she is a cold hearted foe
she wont stop
until she wins
and your life is lost

So hold on to your support beams
family
friends
writing
they will be there
they will fight
when you need a time out.

But please
Little LF
dont give up just yet.

Mother
Father
Would you be proud of me?
Of the man your little son has become?

Have you seen me?
From you perch in heaven
Have you seen the crimes
I've committed ?

Mother
Im sorry
I know you told me
Never to hurt another

Father
Im sorry
I know you told me
Drugs are hazardous to oneself

Would you both still be proud of me?
If you knew the deeds I have done?
The blood that will forever stain my hands.

Would you understand?
That I am a broken man.
That destruction was my distraction.

Would you be proud of me?
If you knew the misery
I have inflicted on countless others
And I didn't even care?  

Would you understand?
That I turned off my emotions.
Would you understand?
That that was the only way
For me to survive.

I don't have to ask anymore
I know the answer.
Im sorry

You both taught me better then this.