Now I’ll always wonder
Does he love me for me
Or does he love me for my body
Does he want to be with me
Or does he just want to sleep with me
Does he mean it when he says he loves me
Or is he telling me what I want to hear
Does he just want to see me bare
Or does he really care

Dear heart,
How naïve of you to
Think it might work out.

You said it, he said it, she said it.
Who meant it?
You said you loved me
But said you loved her in the same day
How could that be?
Why did you do this to me?

A part of me will always wonder now
Do they love me or do they want to use me
Do they care for me or will they abuse me
Is this real ?
Will they choose me?

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

Her beautiful eyes mask the wonderful lies
She wonders her worth
If she’ll ever be good enough
Will she ever be loved as much as she loves?