I can not find Mae's recipe for Swedish rye bread;
I thought it was taped to the fridge next

to obituaries, and the phone number
of Joon’s Korean restaurant.  She knew

the bread recipe the way one knows the feel
of a lover’s back or a favorite character

of a cherished book.  I seldom think of her,
mostly when I am hungry or cold.  Today

I am both, and it is only September;
what will become of me by December?

Blistering hot the other day
Humid heavy air
I prayed to the heavens
For more pleasant weather
And I thank the Lord
For making it cooler
And more bearable
Praise the Lord
You answered my prayers

Everywhere I go
Everybody wants to know
"Where's the lady"
They all ask
I answer, hiding behind a mask
Of smiles and laughs,
And say to them:
"She's gone, she won't be back again;
I don't care"
And shrug my shoulders.
But now my life is so much colder
I walk alone, the crowded streets
And tell my tale to friends I meet
Then I turn, walk on with the truth
With tear-filled eyes
I think of you

"My name is Paul and I lie alot"
Well Pauly, I gotta hand it to you
Even though after all this time
I still don't know
When you're telling the truth,
Still love your poems
Even the ugly ones
Still enjoy your sense of humor
And still wonder how you are
More often than I thought I would.

You always say the right things
Always seem to calm me down
Always consider you a friend
Even when you nag me.
Always smile at the thought of you
Even though you're a **** sometimes.
Not to me though...
To the characters in your poems.
Always hope you're doing well

*and that you're happy

Her tone was impeccable with a black coffee , canned biscuit breakfast
She drank from a saucer , her take on the world was like no other
I remember frosted windows with the sound of her voice
Sometimes I can still hear her on quiet , early Winter mornings* ...

If I told you that I loved you
Would you feel like you had to say it back?
And why would you say it?
Is it the stinging hint of guilt you'd feel,
When you realise, you never thought about me that way?

I'm just a person you know.
Or would you nodd with a smile
And preserve those words
For the moments
When you suddenly feel
That you in fact love me back,
And speak the three word sentence then?

Probably not.
You'd smile and fluently
Return those three words.
I would mean what I say
And you'd return hollow words
To ease my discomfort
Of the truth
That it hadn't even occurred to you.

You might shrud your sholders
And think to yourself
That perhaps, I'm only saying that,
To confirm, that I deserve love.
And you might be right
But then why do you
Feed my need for confirmation?

I guess in the end of the day
All we need to do
To preserve ourselves
Is exactly that; preserve ourselves.
Life is not a 5 step plan
And you may not find
The love of your life right away.

But then meanwhile
You can be the love of your own life.
And then when someone special shows up
You'll have all those things
You wanted for yourself and got
To share and to discover.

I could swear I put them in my bag
The cigarettes, filthy habit.
No can do and she's getting on my last nerve.
The sister, who's singing on street...
God I wish she stopped doing that.

Well **** it, I'm not encouraging this.
I turned to leave, night shop it is.
As I walked down the road
A boy walked to my direction
He was well build
Traditionally handsome
He was kicking his football as he went.

I watched his feet work
He nudged the ball my direction
It rolled right on to my feet.
I quickly stepped over it
And he smiled at my surprise.
Actually it was more like a smirk.
Almost like he was challenging me.

kick it back

I laughed and kept walking
How come that I don't respond
When a guy does the exact thing
I would've done.
Play around as a means to court another.
It was an excellent flirt
But I guess I'm not equipped that way anymore...

Taxi-light.

Maybe it's not so bad
If they just break up now
It's been ages and she is unhappy.
Yet somehow I feel like
Her problem isn't her relationship.
She is creating this within herself
God knows I've been there
That the first *** after a long relationship
Really does your body good
But after a few you just need to admit
That it isn't taking you anywhere...

But then she said it...

sometimes you just need to **** each other up until you learn to respect each other and then try again

Yeah. Maybe that's been the point all along.

All your siblings died in the war
Just you and your baby sister left.
You crossed oceans
To feed your family
Surviving mother and a little girl
Who would later be diagnosed
With multiple sclerosis

What kind of father you must've been
Women always let you down
Wouldn't walk your own daughter
Down the isle
It wasn't proper, pregnant and all
That boy is no good anyway.

That boy is my father
And for all intents and purposes
You were right
"She never told me what he did to her"
Yeah I know, I wouldn't have
Told my father either.

Still haven't told my father
And I don't think I'll bother anyway.
But no matter how torn
My relationship is to my father
And how many times he let us down
In all aspects,
I still hear your voice,
I still remember your scent
I still know your laugh

Grandfather said
Don't fight with your sisters
I'm old, I won't be here
To look after you for long.
My heart's giving up
All you have is each other,
Take care of one another.

You said that after all the money
Is spend and gone
Don't count on an inheritance
Your father's companies are sold or bank rubbed.
There's nothing left for you.
You may never be rich
But you'll always be intelligent.

We sat together you and me
You smelled like the pipe
And I wore my pink summer dress
You asked me questions
Taught me wisdoms
You made a philosopher out of me.
Let that be my inheritance from you.