They say love is blind, but how can that be?

I see all the colors of your body and soul
crashing onto the canvas of my life
filling the pages with mixtures and combinations
that I would not dream of
I long for the red, orange, yellow,
for the green, blue, purple
I long for it all

They say love is blind, but that can't be
for love is you
and me

You expect me to tell you that I love you back but I'm tired of lying

How long until I can live my life outside my mind?

Reality is slipping away as I bury my face into a black mirror that I use to escape.
And how I wish I could escape...
Live without the fear of a bleak future, by painting my days with a rainbow of color. Yet, I am surrounded by walls built up by "loved" ones, who try to protect me but are simply limiting me.
It cannot go on like this.
I long for freedom.
I shall set myself
free

Your hand moving up my thigh,
Your lips on my neck,
Our bodies intertwined.

Things might have ended roughly, but every fortnight I think about you
Dreaming of what could have been
Wishing that we still had a choice, an option, a chance..

If I could do it all over again, I would.
I would cry and scream and fight, but in the end of it all I would have spent another year with you.
Kissing, Hugging, F.......
Making memories
with You

See the truth is, I love you.
But loving you causes too much pain, so I must learn to love myself instead.

I want to kiss the girl of my dreams
but every time our lips meet
I wake up








I would do anything to never wake up

One day, I will wake up with the dreadful realization that I have spent my youth following the rules of my strict, conservative, religious parents.
And despite my love for them, I will look back at my teenage years reliving one mistake. Dating a boy who used me.
I would have learned from that mistake. I would have grown form it.

But I will still look back, wondering why I haven't gone out as much. Why I stopped making friends. Why I never partied. Why I never did anything spontaneous. Why the night before dyeing my hair purple I decided to cancel my appointment so I could avoid facing the disapproval from my parents. Once again.

It is hard to be the child of a dyeing nation.
A nation that is glorified for pride and honor.
But where sexism and homophobia exists.

I will remain the brown haired girl that stays at home and studies on a Friday night. That spends her Saturdays reading books about the life she will never experience. Hoping that she dies before realizing that her life has been a waste.