Sparks of joy fill my eyes when I see you, and I get a sudden urge,
a want,
a need,
to pull you into my arms and never let you go.
To kiss you endlessly, to hold onto your body, to feel your warmth, to smell your perfume, to caress your skin, to play with your hair...
Oh, what I'd give to be with you...

I would like to let you go, but my mind is filled with thoughts of you. If I go a day without thinking of you, you appear in my dreams.

There is simply no escaping you.

You have full control over my life, and I proceed to live with you in
my memories, my hopes, my dreams.
Or perhaps they are nightmares? For I don't truly want to see you.

And so I ask, I beg, I pray
that You let me go instead.

Three years have passed, and yet I'm still trapped inside your big, loving, suffocating arms.
And I still can't decide if I want you to let go, or hold tighter.
Truth is, I can breathe all the same. I just don't know if the air satisfies me anymore.

Where is the line between life and death? And why can't we just cross it whenever we want?
Can a person be on the line? Both dead and alive? Or neither dead nor alive?
Why are we threatened with hell when we simply want the pain to end?

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you"
I repeat this mantra days on end to remind myself of the pain you caused, when I was young and lost and confused and naive.
Naive.
A silly girl in "love". Believing in the impossible, hoping for it to last forever.
Eternity is all we have but nothing in this world is eternal. So when I am lost, I turn to the illusion of freedom that I might one day achieve.

Your cursed this day

She said she saw you in that hotel
and now I quietly beg her to take me there
never wanting to miss the opportunity of accidentally seeing you myself.
we drive by the hotel often and I can see you with my eyes closed, sitting inside the lobby I have never been in,
imagining you eating in a restaurant that only exists in my mind.
perhaps,
thats it,
you are just in my mind