I am free but I am trapped
How much is experience worth when
Every Friday night is entertained by bruises and bedsheets washed away the next afternoon by Jack Daniels
This is not who I am and I wish you could understand this but
Here I am stuck
Trapped
I was hoping you'd hear
Here I thought I was swimming in the most incredible ocean
Independent, free, wild, and unknowing
It just took a while for me to remember
Sipping on salt water can only keep you alive for so long.

I was once read a faerie tale
And I'll never forget that night I heard the words,
"All magic comes with a price."
I should have been prepared for the earthquake
Following the day your lips met mine.
I've always wanted to know what you see in the stars;
Are they to you the ghosts of those you've abandoned?
I hope the crescent moon's mocking smile makes your hands
Shake while I'm
Climbing all the mountains you never dared to hike.

Restless and awake,
The clock tells me it is 2am.
This is truly the time for dreamers.
Surrounded in silence,
intensified loneliness,
thoughts palpable.
I was once told
to forget tomorrow's uncertainty yet
Past situations resurface
and bring about distress.
There is no logic in afflicting such a burden;
One that is caused by one's regrets.
Those times cannot be brought back,
Cannot be relived,
But, oh, how they can come back to haunt you.

My mother once warned me
not to watch and wait for water to boil.
I guess I never learned
I should have learned
by the way you interrupted every
mangled promise.
I've been counting all the clocks I've seen
since you told me we'd ran out of time.
You are the reason I now know
it is possible to drown without water
because sometimes I visit the beach
where we had our last barefoot slow dance,
And only then do I find solace
in fantasizing the day I'll forget your name.

For so long my biggest fear has been
Breathing in fire
But lately I've found myself
Addicted to the fumes.
You once whispered a warning,
Lips teasing the nape of my neck,
A memory that still sends chills down my spine.
I wish I'd never been told the danger of
Such a transient element.
You see,
I've been stalked by a rain cloud for years
Of whom I am hoping has sauntered away
For good.
Yet I still find myself wondering
If either of us will someday be
Standing alone in a room
Accompanied only by a fire extinguisher.

Someone once explained to me how vulnerable they felt
looking at the night sky and
I've been spitting up galaxies since that night.
Sometimes I have dreams where I am
Tying knots in the fabric of the universe
And orchestrating meteor showers
But I've stared at this piece of paper
For so long
you'd think I'm trying to purge myself
of the memory of those words.
I feel like I've been hanging apologies
Like ornaments on a Christmas tree
Since you told me
I am the girl who is crying "fire" in the middle of an ocean but
The way I see it you're just trying to build a new house
On top of an old one that hasn't even finished burning down.