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I haven’t cried sad in a long time,
I’ve dipped my feet in the vast
Sadness of my heart, but I’ve
Never dared jump

And it’s starting to show,
In the way I talk, in the dark
Crevices underneath my eyes,
On my shoulders

When will it be that the heavens
play their trumpets in my name,
And let me blessed with rain showers
That washes the dirt off my soul.

Let me be touched by the
Never ending cycle,
Let me hide underneath
The shadow of the clouds.

Let me forget my heart in the
Puddles of water,
Let it be picked up by gentler hands
and cared for again.
 Feb 15 Notepad
ok okay
I lay stranded in my bed
Waiting for my dreams to take me away

The floor sinks around me
Dragging me further into the abyss

The moon bleeds red
It seeps through the blinds in my room

Silence echoes in my head
It exists where nothing ever was

When I am gone
I will be reduced to words

I wonder if anyone will read them
I feel so lost
 Jan 25 Notepad
Ally
Breathe
 Jan 25 Notepad
Ally
I rise to greet the dawn

distracting my heart

I take a sip of dark roast

and exhale

today I will

just breathe
 Jan 19 Notepad
Ciel Noir
I know that you are not
"the one"
I know this is not real

It isn't really about you
It's just the way I feel

I tell myself this time is different
this time you are right

But I am chasing the same shadow
through a different night

I never get used to the pain
the pain
the same **** pain

I know you will break the cycle
I know you will break the chain

And tomorrow I will run from you
But it will be the same

The same sorrow
The same pain

Same shadow
Another name
 Jan 18 Notepad
Nishu Mathur
It’s hard to care
for a bunch of flowers in a vase  
Neither here nor there
Neither quite dead nor alive
Though seemingly full of life
And fragrant and beautiful

But it distresses me as they start to wilt
Petals fall
One by one — all
Perhaps it’s better that I get a
bouquet of dried flowers instead
Muted creams, browns and reds
They won’t be as vibrant
But flowers yet
They’ll dispel winter’s gloom
Add colour to my room

They’ll certainly last longer…
Ah, if only I were wiser and stronger
I could make the most of each moment
And enjoy the beauty of flowers and their sweet scent
But I guess I am silly
To brood over wilting roses, dahlias and that odd lily
 Jan 18 Notepad
ok okay
Sometimes it feels easy to rot away
To lie in bed
As your mind decays
Some nights feel lonely
And as boredom sinks in
Your thoughts run wild
Until you can no longer think
It can hurt sometimes
To waste the day
As you watch the sunset
You wish it could all go away
But as hard as life is
You are cared for and loved
So do not lie in bed too long
And know that you are enough
 Jan 18 Notepad
ok okay
There she lay
Between the Earth and the clouds
Asking the stars 'Please let me down'
Floating away as the thoughts left her head
She only wondered what would be if
And what would come next
As she left past the clouds and the marble-white moon
She felt the cold of the void
No more beautiful blue
Past the vast and small spheres
She drifted for miles
Empty and alone
Until the stars found her eyes
She turned around and saw the heavenly view
Sometimes we just gotta appreciate what we have, as hard as it can be. Life is beautiful, even though sometimes it feels like we are slipping away.
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