The sunflower
Is so big headed
Sweet and Pretty
And she knows it.

Old man sitting in his seat
In his eyes lays defeat
Lonely looking down at his feet
Hearing what's outside his window
Children playing young and nibble.

Old man sitting in his chair
He is in so much despair
Running his fingers vigorously through his hair
Lonely and lost
No one to talk too
******* himself ,
has no self care
His family he raised
All gone away
No one too say
I hear your voice x
Hello
Just hello, how are you today x
Conversation with himself.

Why do they just leave me alone
Sitting in my chair no one cares
My family i raised I worked myself too the bone
For what
For this
Too sit alone
The loneliness it's talking too me taunting me .
Sad old man
******* yourself
You may as well hang yourself
Do us all a favor
The old boy stands on his lonely chair
Hangs himself.

Shadows of the night
How they give such a fright
My wee girl jumps
She hears a bump
Its  a monser mummy under my bed
I jump too the rescue
Too save her sleep
I make this monsters of her run  cause I'm the freak
Eek says the monster, he runs
A mummy angry is no fun
****** run.x
A mummy angry
Defending her daughter not a pretty site x

Why can I not get you too love me so
Why do we pretend at home?
Why do I moan your still around
Pretending with your quit frown.

I'll show you all my emotions
And shuv them down your throat
Until you choke,
But still you pretend too love me
Still we play like little dolls
In a little perfect house
I wonder what would happen
If I gave up this pattern?

Why do we do this silly merry go round,
Why do we pretend you love me
Why do we not  let this pretend  love die
Why do you do this?
Why do you just please me
Please leave me,
Please just leave me alone.

I hide my soul
So no one can destroy it
Pull at it
Talk too it
I hide my soul
So no one can see me
Free me.
I hide my soul
Only on paper
I do not hide,
I hide me
I'd like too be set free like the stormy seas
Like the winter breeze
For now I like too see me as
a willow Tree
This would set me free
I think
For now I'll hide me
I don't want too be free
I'm frightened .

Don't you try and tell me  my dear friend  that how love can be so beautiful, when all love brought me was shattered parts of my personality
, that I'm still picking up today.
Don't tell me that true love will make me a better person all love made me was bitter , sad., lonely. .lost, weak
I will sit on the self forever collect dust
Bitterly tasting nothing.I will safely rote away .

You called us too passing ships in the night
I said oh alright, goodnight,shut the door, fell too my knees,
God  lord or jesus too whom do I pray,
As I'm in dismay too what I say ,
This language we talk of, I'm not very   good at.
we call love,
As I let myself down ,I drowned in self pity,
I show all my sides, I pray I did not hide,
Well but, a little shy,
I need a reply,
Just a look my way ,
Would help me along the road of love
Or a  warm Wray from an angels open wings
Just too hear them sing,
That would guide me in my quest for love .
I pray I fall in love use my good sides
If a little shy,
God lord or jesus hear my cry
Hear my prayers
I need a love lullabie,
I need too feel loved.
I need the right person too come my way I pray
God, lord , or jesus .

I miss my love , i once was a loving girl with heart on her sleeve, till I met a man that I thought was too good for me.
Many a night we shared our thoughts,
Layed our body on knaked lawns,
We would talk for hours and ever more,
I was just in total awe.
I could not stop thinking of this man of mine, i just put him up so high so high
I could not fly,
But I thought he could, he should save the world and me too.
But yet we destroyed each other
Beat each other down
****** each other at every
chance we got, i hated him, I just hated him I become so bitter for my knight in shineing armor just did not exist.

I was heartbroken I think for the first time at 34 forevermore.
I woke up out of my fairytale
I'm not cinderella
He is not prince charming
I had put him on a pedal stool
Too high too reach...

I can not put my hoover down , I would rather make love too my hoover, more than a man.
My dusters I fluster
As I rub over my skin
I'm clean, there clean I'm excited with mr sheen.
Well , with Mrs fairy I better not go there,I found her very scary,
I love cleaning it excites me within,
When I do my dishes I have a massive grin.
With my mop I can reach every spot
I had Mr flash on my floor also up against the door.
I have o.c.d. you see, I just love to clean ,  it makes me want too scream
This is a obsession a thing I have too do
putting my house write how is dose so excite. I love cleaning.

I've been called a monster before
I thought thats a lie
But I hide just like a monster
Deep inside I have a part of me I hide
I despise.

I don't want too be a monster
That hides
I scare people away with just one stare
I frighten  my kids away
I will not be a monser

I will not be that monster
That shouts and scream in my dreams
That eats my soul
while I sleep.

I will beat my monster
I will love myself
I will  care for my monster
So it never give a stair that scares people away.
I will smile like a sunrise
And play like a rainbow too brighten my kids day.
I will care abouy my monster So it feels it safe.

I don't want too be a monster.

You claw across the room too me
Distorted in shadows you reach for me
I sweat
I shake
I'm gonna brake
You call so gently too me
Come my dear
You will rest with me,mentally you collect me,
This addiction is getting too me
I shake
I swear
I'm in dispair
I'm gonna break
I have too take
My heads so dark in this space
Embrace me it shouts
Just take me now
We will feel better
No black clouds
I take.

The guilt the blame the emptiness the same,
darkness came ,
I took painkillers
Just too feel better
No better I was
My addiction,
I have to really fight for me.

I will fight the fight too be drug free.

Just sometimes this fight is hard for me.

I was cueing for a bus today
I had not the right money and needed too stay,
A man gave me 50p so I could be on my way
A act of kindness goes along way
A simple act of kindness that blew me away x thankyou too the man that day his name is Peter who helped me stay x

She was left standing all on her own
All dressed up but no where too go
She  was left heartbroken at 17
All dressed up  but nowhere too go
Yearning for a man 29 much older
All dressed up she was
Just left standing she was
Just got drunk that night
All dressed up she was and nowhere to go.
Mum rocking her too sleep she was
Sobbing like a child.
She was all dressed up and no where too go.
Just  stood  her up again
With no where too go.
Her dad said she  was all dressed up the poor girl and nowhere too go .

I love the snow
the wind blows her beautiful  coat around us
She rests in our hair
She lay deep at night
She is but quite
Silently she lays
Ready for kids too play.
She is but deep white and endless
I love the snow x

I walk along same paths everyday
I never look for what on display
Birds singing dancing away
Sun out beating it's play
I feel the warm rays
This washes my cares away.

Ive walked this  path everyday
Today my feet move with the sun's dancing  beat with  the dancing of the little Robins feet.

I take my time on this warm spring day I take it all in , it warms me within

Moving with the sun beat
I'm dancing with the little Robins feet
I Shuffle muffle with the hedgehogs snuffle,  pushing through ***** leave i just love this spring time beat
I'm dancing to the little Robins feet .

Whey is it i stray with you
I play with you
Why is it is lay with you so easy
I give my self freely
I shame myself with you
I look a fool
Why do I stray with you
I do.

Oh chocolate I love thee so
You make me happy
You make feel so full of glee
You make me feel like that desperate wee that I set free
How I love thee
Chocolate.

There was a time you said
Please never leave me

There was a time you said
I just need you
Please never leave me
There was a time you said
Please please keep me
Don't ever leave me
Making love you look at me
You made me believe
We promised neither would leave
A pact made bye too souls
I believed
I said , please never leave me
No reply
You left me
Now I'm frozen in time
Replaying in my mind that night we looked each other straight in each others eyes
Please never leave me,
Our pact.

I lay there silently weeping
He lays there silently sleeping
I lay there silently suffering
He lays there silently sleeping
I try too hold it in, the sobbing deep within i feel I'm going too explode
I sob like a scolded child
I tried to hold it in
I'm so fu##ing hurt like broken skin
So raw and tender
You just gave up
So I surrender
I give up too.

The darkness  creeps up too me
I try too fight but it expands , Covers me , suffer cation there is no explanation

Why do you haunt me taunt me follow
Me, you reduce me too a child quickly I have too hide .
Why do you taunt me so?
I see shadows of the night they creep along my floor,I have too hide once more.
If only I could get too the door
I maybe be free of the darkness once more ..!!!!

To everyone out there that I may just stare at thankyou x
Too everyone on this site supporter or people that just write thankyou x
Even for the people who don't care thankyou x too my brother Brian Mckay who showed me the way thankyou x thankyou x you have helped me so many ways give me confidence too put my work on display x thankyou x

Over the meadows far away millie played with  mr moon beam that lived across the bay

They floated in banana boat's
They claimed up sugar hills
They sprinkled sparkle stardust upon the frosty hills.

Over the meadows far away millie played with Mr moon beam who lived across the bay

They fly on cotton candy  clouds  to catch a shooting  star
They would eat rainbow icecream too make her dreams go far.
Back across the meadows come across the bay there is millie playing happy in her own special way x

Good night Mr moon beam I hear her say at the end of each and everyday ***

I proud too say I'm clean today
That should f###king please ya
I proud too say I got out of bed today
That should cause you a sence of relief
As your kids I've taken too school
That should F###king please ya
Oh partner of mine so strong  and fine so perfectly devine . No floors I can find.
That should f###king please ya .

I cleaned my house today like everyday
That should f###king please  ya
I played with the kids i read them story's
I acted a fool we played barbie ball
And Princess's rule. ,
But yet I can never please ya
So now I've decided to leave ya
That will f###ing please ya . Lol lol x
PS.
Love miss not perfick
I hope you f###king find  her.