Beauty is a priority not a luxury
no flower blooms for the ones with cash
no flower blooms for the profit made on each petal

no moon etched night sky wears a for sale sign
no azure blue sky gives change
apart from the fleeting expressions of cloudscapes

I align myself with the cycles of the cosmos
I acknowledge my shadow
                           my bright self
i bypass negativity to expansion
        i trust the hidden helpers on my quest
as well as those in plain sight

Even though it hurt alot
and it still kinda hurts sometimes i'm sure it will

but we are here

and we have healed so much !

Now i know why the de ja vu's were here

it's this, this bond ,

this life time millennia that flew into my arms as a lover ,
into my arms again as a child ,

out of my way as an enemy
into my closest circle as an advisor,

over my breast like a flame as a mother -

it's this unshakable bond that stems from wanting to heal as much as we do
so this one,

this one's for you mum

and all the people you have been with me.

*Wai's Kru

Consciously curating the thoughts that stream through
offering a space in mind , working the mind
not just a block of damp cheese soaking up the leftover gruel but a fine fine piece of raw chocolate sweetened a tad by maple syrup and dotted with raspberries

that's me allright.
No matter the folly
It's time to rise and shine
Self consciousness really doesn't suit me
I know I got a few bruises but and I'd rather be amused than some kind of fanatic muse to a ***** artist any day
Humor is the hotline to Unconditioned Love Centers .

Snapping and projecting at other people is really lame self-defense because i'm picking fights with these tactics,
exaggerating anthills with this mindset
and digging graves using two left shoes with this clouded vision
from which
ultimately
I'll have to climb out of
because I'm not dead and no one was attacking me in the first place.

Why is it so difficult to be honest with myself when I'm faced with an error in my judgement or an unhealthy way of life is beguiling me to stay on tap?

Ignorance of Inner life, Inner worlds and Inner vision.
Got me trippin at ego's palace , high on self-pity
Drunk and dizzy on sickly sweet aggression.  

It's a scandal that these spaces of inner lands are vastly ignored as children and youth, blindly wondering the world           confused
with a rhythm that is skewed
because I know more about the gossip of the evening news
when really, this is      where the treasure is, this is
where the wisdom rests
this is where the magic lives!
All inside my beating chest, burrowed back beneath my eyes
somewhere where the 5 senses would be throughly surprised
accessed through quiet stillness or ecstatic joy
known to many as chills along the spine or the tingles of goose bump whispers
access to dimensions unfathomed
all waiting
for the space to become

realized , actualized and known.

I've realized, i'm a seasoned traveller through these Inner pathways and I've been holding myself back for fear I'm not beautiful enough
but
You know, if I hang around and wait for all you lot to catch up or for myself to suddenly be "like everyone else"
I'll never make it back with the goods in time
because
there is something more fun than enjoying depression
it's called not enjoying depression!

Nothing but made up sorrows! Encased in the ignorance of *** for tat reality!
Every second is different , that is the beauty of it
I present to you a new fangeled idea! You've seen the PAST
you've heard about the instant FUTURE , but

a special today , really really sumptuous , the PRESENT !

Subject to change- constantly

To be certain there is a way of life that exists in the languid.
Nature never hurries and yet all gets done.
This is not a tapping into, this is not an extraction process , this is not mining of internal resources. This is a growing.
Sometimes I speak of resistance to myself, I notice and catch all the smallness of life, the small distinctions of this and of that. Sometimes I get annoyed way too fast, at life, way too fast at not getting what I want

time is gentle,
time is gentle,

Slowly there is a shifting, slowing down there is a moving sifting through I get the feeling, I’m becoming my own dreaming.
Here amongst the cavernous forum of my lie , the sky sings slowly moving shifting always gleaming, turning swiftly dancing slowing fruit is ripe I am my friend , I need the daring friend friend friend, there is something, moving so slowly resitance to my yearning chasam. I turn off now, I don’t have to take it all on though, even though I feel it’s mine, this is not our slighted journey, this is not our reasonable rhyme, for the darkening, for the lightness, and the color that arises when they meet, I am the child of our aunties and uncles.
give chance
make peace
with the wide open skies
of the southwest
and the land where your brother and sisters fled
and their blood seeped into the land
harboring their empty spirit until the time would come

Sheep sneeze
bagpipes play on the soft west breeze, there are clouds out at sea but the sun is ripe on me

it's the laughter
of nature that is my always medicine
the mystery is solace,

drop that armor you ain't going no where
sheath that sword ain't fighting no one
drop that fear all you doin is holding onto trouble

when the world's issues hang heavy on the brow
give em a rest
they'll be there when you come back.

A sunshine dappled moment
they going , they coming

worry ain't no friend of no one
but disease and ill health,
yo mama tryna help you out with those words
"write so people will understand , there's no point otherwise"

just take em real nice right there, take em real kind.

A cloud is beautiful for a moment , only illuminated by the dropping sun.

It turns grey, dull and flat.

I hear no cries for what was lost , only quiet transformation into another.

There is peace in knowing that all this must move, all this heart ache and sadness must move , but first you must let it go , like the cloud.

transform into another.

do not shun the darkness…merge with it , guided by the light of the moon guardian , dappling the cloud with her ethereal light, a new beauty is taken on , until the promised sunrise appears.

And even though it may seem that night and day are places that we must dwell in , one look outside the planet and the sun shines on regardless.

It is always light. Even when there seems darkness.

Timetabled automobiles
run to deliver the places
much like ****** functions
so the city operates

Many a face is graced in these moving shared spaces

a rareity in the city
where we move indoors to be nimble and warm
when the weather is adorned with low hung clouds or sometimes bright clear days that come from mornings of mist and grey minded melenchony damp.

Turtle - by the name Horace
what some would call a black boy
or something but i’ve never seen a thing so foolish -

the blackness
if one would read between the lines to the connottions of what race is  
,

is mearly the opposite to the void

brimming to the full

i’m not sure if either is better
since i’m of mixed origin ,but to be honest ,

what would the fullness be in if it was not the void ( ? )

This example is everywhere
the human body
the planets that hang in the stars emptiness
or even on the macro cosmic scale

Well , well , well - the universe does it again

playing games
with mind made names
and simple syncronicites
say an awful lot

i don’t really - really - really - really - really - (hate=strongly dislike) may things
but here are a few

People who know things , that will help other people but don’t say it and instead belittle them because that’s an easier way to fuel their own self worth because somthing proberbly happned in their life that ****** them up because i was one of those people and i hated myself for it , i hated myself for not being skinny and caring what other people think , and being this or that does it matter any more? is that not that?
Lucozade


Somethings i really- really-really-really-really (love= strongly love)

Bagels with peanut butter and honey and raspberries
friends.

We have this notion that time is rigid
that time is a solo tick of a clock's second hand
or mearly the grain dropped into the hourglasses bottom

that the day needs to be broken down
that the night slips on by the hours escape us as we escape to lands of mystery and fog

but sometimes i love this about humans , i love that we like things neat and tidy ,

we're like ants - collecting for the colony although we seem to have lost the way back to the community centre

we're taking all we've found and putting it away in groups of 2 and 3 and 4 expecting to build hives that can outlast a rainstorm.

But here's the funny thing ,

sometimes i live in 3000 years past future present

and this confuses some people
who still believe that time is liner.

Once more i would like to point out the sorry truth that , whomever controlled the time -
would control us all

now who sets the clocks back??

Not me....


So i've set all mine forwards
some would call me a hoarder but i think i'm just taking back what is rightfully mine...

Before we begin let us begin with the silly name tags we've all been given
I'm Hank Fletcher and you'll be Roger Malore.

Ride up
ride up ! Come collect your coat buckets
let's dance a merry boogie under the sinking sun
I'll wear purple dancing shoes so you'll spot me in the crowd and leave the silver wear at home please darling,
I haven't a pocket to spare for all of your loose change
or all of your first change or last change no long change either
I'll take 3 fingers of radical change though
and have seven chasers of rabbits down holes
and wouldn't you know
I don't think we'd stop even if we could
we've only got goats of friendship on leopards nooses down by the ally
did I mention you've got a friend in me?
yes,
please
he can't stay any longer he's eaten up all of my pastries and done a huge mural of the french revolution in the bathroom
I can't stand the sight of ****** man ***** as I try to poo
god lord, would you believe he's done all the horses as well.

Now, now, **** it in
we'll never catch a break if you just give out frankincense every time you find a **** attractive.

Waking up this morning felt like i’d already done so much wrong , the taunting voice i haven’t heard for a while was back with jibes of ” not good enough”.Still, the day moved by and the sun blazed most of the time away.  So we spend a few hours napping and wake up thinking it’s the morning again. Soon after a movie lunch i’m anxious , heightened to a level where i scroll and scroll through social media screens until i pull myself away and meditate. This time i am aware . I sit facing the west , asking for release , feeling and not running . Acknowledging and sending love with conscious intent of “let go” to the moments, “let go” the people whom those moments are attached to. I feel it out , like being birthed. Like being birthed there is painful slowness where the depth and intricacy of the moment are safeguarded by sturdy patience , slow my soul to a standstill …. Of breath and closed eyes - frankincense smoke and angel guide so close to my ear breaths whisper fallacies away and when all is still , there - then , the tears and drooling mouth where i don’t care for the vampire stealing some poor soul elsewhere nor the motion of the sun’s axis. Breathing , stretching , balance. A timeless viewpoint arriving back in the frame.  When all is ready the tree calls out for a conversation . The bed is filled with a love , whom i eye with new lenses each day , checking to see if i am seeing an image i desire or the majestic view of a wild solitary flame in the middle suburb. But , there he is. Even clearer than before. Take one hole at a time he told me once about a golfer. Take each 24 hours at a time. I become honorary American. I eat 2 smores and 3 deer grace us with their ethereal presence as the luminescent flare of final sunshine dip dives to dusk’s quintessential hue of deep ocean blue. Grandma has a hungry monster inside her as i eat the watermelon grown with pesticides in a house full of things. Tarot cards are up to 35. It’s easier to wake up here early , it’s like the day slides like melted butter off pancakes.

Tears are but wisdom distilled . in physical form .
I have already drowned myself , with angry drops
Christened with splashes of joy
To sleep after i exhausted the water supplies
To drift into worlds i hope will soothe me,

But my dreams are edged with fraying tension ,
this is too much , is there no respite , despite this

i think , it's just learning how to relax again after being tense for so long

A long winding road with many *** holes - really , has no one tended to the infrastructure ? - but i do not walk alone
this is divine comfort in the highest
i have passed through the myriad of messes from childhood depression

to emerge blinking - safe on steady ground
i thank my lucky stars to have been blessed with such emotional struggles - for it has given me the perspective , the faith , the desire to out live and out last any ******* .

I didn't realize i would deal with it all now , despite the therapy...it really was my own heart that healed herself

and i won't wait till i'm old and on a shelf to sort out this mess inside of me , i won't let it fester

no time like the present !!
no time like the ****** present !!

Listless
nights
faze into dwelt upon days
only to find
old friends
merry dance and gay

only to drift into shape shifting plays
knowledge turns wisdom
turns rust
turns dust

blown about in the wind

who knew , it's alot of fun
trickle into lines

trickle into time
make the particle reactor of bodies dance
our actions are just as important as our actions

our reactions are just important as our actions...

ponder.
stop.
to wonder.

no faced smiles

little giggles
little laughs
little jump , skip and hop across the horizon

a breath
of fresh air
scented with geometry's stare ,
scented with midnight bloom

and jazz riffs tune , melodic beat , riptides feet ,
riptides soul

grown old.

tip the scales , let the yin flow to yang's shoulders

tip tap those feet baby !!

Say, heart, that was a shock

that was a shock to the system that got nervous

some never recover but we do, we can , we are -

Say, heart... that was unexpected and violent
air plane crashes and dead body smells
sandalwood roses and milk sweets

Say, Heart
that was a new kind of feeling
England in the countryside and hedgehogs squished to pavements
Swimming after fogged up bus rides
and Bob Marley in the white Golf.

Say, Heart that was pretty cool
watching the London Eye go up on telly
then seeing it outside
then a school with swapsies and teachers checking to see if you ate
and a sister waiting in the chair next to me

Say, Heart
11 schools later
aren't you glad we saw them all?

Say, Heart
how many times did we crack before we broke open?
and I whispered that we'd be ok as long as we kept moving
and now we know that clinging to moments is what makes the pain worse..

Say, Heart
I feel you beating now after so many times searching for a pulse and finding something else there instead.

the oozing of generational lies
and slaps that turned green
along with the screams and I feel that we are all screaming
we are all screaming
silently
into the blankets on frosty january morns or into our 10th cup of tea to drown out the cold

into our tiger teddybears or elephants stiched in pink,
perhaps it'll be our CD's that reminded us of home, when we're on a far off continent where pain lurks around us and the children are crying at the top of the stairs
and kidney failure is just round the corner but how could we know?

That glass shower doors were yet to be smashed and police cars were yet to have left and guitars were yet to have been bartered
your love for a 6 stringed instrument that is a sacred therapy

And Say,
Heart
we were told that staying silent was proper
and the sound of our voice too loud

children should be seen and not heard
emotions are weak and blood or lust is front page news


Say, Heart what do you make of that?
No wonder those eyes are twitching just slightly ,
and the nervous system never really calmed down,
the setting of the perfect storm
to rain mystic myriads of inner dimensional travel
because yes, ultimetly it's my greatest teacher

but
trauma doesn't just fade.

Trauma doesn't just fade.

Trauma doesn't just fade
until we let it, wadda say heart?


Say it Heart....
Say it Heart....
let it out, sweet, dear Heart..
Say it..... Heart.

Dimension upon universe
our fantasies spill out in words and emotions,

Tame my wild mind and ground me to the earth
because i am lightning without thunder.

Unfurl my brow,  because it takes one less muscle to smile.

Ease my heart with 3 words...
Cosmic Space Pancakes?

Teach me about loving myself enough to say yes to myself and no to the people who were never meant to be mine.

Whisper your carnal caramel luxuries into my skin,

i guess you must see my scars as beauty.

Play with my hair so i can fall asleep on a floating bed of lotus flowers ,
Time bends at the flick of a finger or the brush of a leg.

We exist only as dust motes floating in a stream of light ..
Energies , manifesting as human for a while ,
Heartbeats deteriorating ,
Toenails growing ,
Idea birth-ers.

It must be the chemistry, or something in the air,
but i think with you i won’t be cold.

I admire your ability to see things through.
I admire your kindness and honesty.

So , one sunny winter’s day.
We’ll execute our escape plan.

who were they
who are they still

ipad in what looked like japan
but then again , neither of them could read it...
this man + woman even knew -who's who and what's what...
'what was the deal and what was the don't the lines
woah it's true

it's like the darkside

When the waves have washed me here,
I'd be a fool to look another way,

sturdy sturdy , doesn't it feel strange.
They say it's chaos out here at the moment.

I've dug these roots and cultivated their tender tendrils.
this is my song
this is my voice
I know this now.

For the love of myself,
Is the focal point now,

spin - turn - it's not yet happened
confusion
confusion
states of misunderstanding
foraging in the silence for our understanding
for the decisions that would make things easier
but I'm turning over now
rolling with this wave
a fool I may be but an anchor I do have

and i've come to be -
sitting
serene meditational gaze
life is unraveling in the way life kows best-
my heart bumps
stumbling occasionally.

We're just two clouds passing through -
just passing by,
colloquial for but a while -

Firm and fleshy in the moment,
wispy and nonexistant later.

Our cracked and opened shells of a solitary death
co-created
waft up their sweet scent of fertile ground
moist, fresh
smelling faintly of stardust and the impossible -

Our edges that don't exist in this world
shimmer and sparkle
pop and crinkle on foreheads and bellies

shining out of our eyes
is the magic of respect
that blows a strong wind

pushing us away
away
from each other
away
away
from each other
closer
and
closer
and
closer
to ourselves
our own dreams

have changed directions.

A runner off before the gun , my hands tied behind my back
i made my way into the dark crevices of myself.

I turned my back on the outer world not to emerge until
i’d seen what was lurking in the shadows.
Demons. I walked into their ranks and told them to tear me apart…. I watched it all… My blood spilt into the torrents of rain….Once they were done…. all that was left was my eyes.


They are blacker than before, but with a hint of starshine in them now…
Whilst the deamons went to wash themselves and get a pint before closing time…..
I took alook around this new landscape.
The signs i was always looking for were all around me…. in every single thing i happened to see….and every unexpected turn i took looking around that town led me to new and brighter , bolder and almost iridecent signs untill the signs became me and i became the signs.

That’s when i began to dance , and dance i did. I danced with the devil and and fox trotted with the angels, we spun on the wheels of great time leaving all the business of past , present , future behind…. we existed only in the swish of a skirt or the click of the heel…..we were pirates of the cosmic tides , we knew only the ocean , never to set foot on land again. Unless, it was the island. The island where seven days a week i could just bask in the sunshine that is your smile, where only the surreal existed.

With a heck of a lot of past history uncovered in sacred spaces ,

wings outstretched , scents of toast and peanut butter , amazonian amethyst or desert desserts, are the tempter tempting - why say no..

Even prior notions to what may or may not have been,
are extinguished in the moments notice ,
what course , ran this tide,  seemed pre-ordained to meet again.


he appears ~
and it seems that if he decides one day to dissipate back into the ether
then there would be trail marks of poems , and astral realms of dedication to cloud kingdoms and fluffy rooms , with hidden portals

and ya'know
it would be a crying shame , i tell ya , we gots too much
to share and too many midnight snacks and dances in mountains , and treks under oceans trenches ~ but i live with the notion of

if it is not mine , i will not have it
and if it is , then it is only that.

Wisdom from mother earths roots -  connections - directions - reflections - mirror image in time and space , parallel companions on the human planetary face - take many shapes and forms,
and this life time is a reincarnation of my last incarnations , short span.

time gives us the patience
and if life gives us the gracious attitudes needed to peruse the horizons of
bliss and the horizons of motions illusionary

spell is undone , traveling ----- in motionless zen meditations.

for the seekers often find more then they set out for

in the least expectant of places.

Spontaneous renditions and silly faced magician , with gentle words whispered,
secrets healer
and emerald , black light bearer of truth observer
and crazy hair curls

and i should be asleep
but it's nicer to let it seep
and maybe i'll just have a coffee to go
in the morning
running to the door
to catch that bus

sit at the back.

i'm a hood rat

hood lum

we all gotta wear tin hats out there!

countless satalites and countless wi-fi waves
countless phones
and countless drones
countless android apples

but


beware....no where did the bible mention the fruit was an apple.

be carful...
be care.


be care and know

i care , so i hope you have a good day darling , a good night sweetheart and lovely inbetween baby ,

go safe ,

thoughts to hold
loves to behold
darkness gives way to light

night gives way to sun shine bright
and tides give way to the shores stretching hidden and revealed
covered , concealed and re-appealed at moons suggestions

inevitable turns and motions projected
yet not the same components whence this building was erected
stand here today new memories and presents
projected onto walls and floors
breezes and floating flowers , plastic bags and in need of showers
sweating from the humid city evening hours

powers are working
people are churning
cities belly is not burning
but dance
little ants of power dance

in your one lined solo group style flow
of natures voice still heard in cities loop holes

i , am safe , i am full , i am empty i am souls

breaths lands
of milk and honey
are but plentiful
and surround us
even in the seemingly tighests of spots

but like sand i run through fate's fingers
to time's chest
break through the grass doors no less
no less no more ,
no less , no more ,

just for the plentiful
bounty that is oceans floor

and into depths of oblivion and depths of sighs and depths of soft nights
and nights and when there is credit due ,
there is credit due.

due-

over due
-  under due

dew point at 3 am
soft drops line the sleeping city
rains the mist
only to hang before groundfall
before groundfall
surf


surfin (yo) (!)

we need you
we need you to be you and no one else
we need every ounce of every pinprick of sunlight that shines forth from your soul
this world is changing
we are in a time to be free
we have all we need, and more
but we lack love

so , i deplore you and i deplore myself to find love
in everything you do ,
because you
yes you
deserve every ounce of love that pervades the infinite, hear that , in finite , universal soul
because you are

you are beautiful
and brilliant and wild , you have horses running through you hair and lions in your breath
you are the culmination of every single thing that has ever happened in the universe. ALL of time had to happen for you to happen,
now, if that ain't special ...well...

i don't know what is.

Fear of the dark, a somewhat childlike fear, lead me to an electric shock, which lead me to break my vow of silence, which lead me learn what happiness really is.

Being happy is not fake sunshine advert sitcom glory
It is
Being able to take the gory and daunting turn of events that is
Making a mistake.

Talking it through
Or shouting it through, hissing it through
But
Above all
Letting it pass through -

Listening to another when emotions are heightened,
Using the strength and courage I’ve been cultivating to make that step (or leap)
To recognition of a lesson peeking out from the rubble of a mistake.

Mine were, in no particular order

Preparation, communication, setting and community

Did I really prepare my local community for what I was embarking on?
No, I did not explain what I was doing thoroughly.
Was the setting of meeting new family and old people in a house where 4 languages are spoken daily to get all communication clear, really the best place to take a vow of silence?
No.
Was I myself ready? Stable enough in who I am
to withstand the pressures of others all around me?
Or to maintain silence in the face of a panic attack?  
I didn’t know until I tried.
And the answer was no.

And *that is happiness.
Being able to take the gory and daunting turn of events that is
Making a mistake
Into
Relinquishing myself from self hate
Recognizing old patterns of destruction
Ushering in new ones of growth and peace
Embracing the fact that i can feel myself laughing
at the ludicrousness of it all           despite parts of me wanting to remain angry

Having compassion for those around me
Including myself -

A Being,
Happy.

Vitamin D from sunlight is first registered in your eyes, so if you wear sunglasses know that you deny your body of vital love.

I suppose my element is fire , the way the sun and i communicate with cloud patterns we play a game of precision.

I suppose my element is air , the way a breeze and i blow in tangent, wrapping ourselves in each others spiral patterns

the exit is in reverse , the starting of the verse, the myth , the beat the silent snare,

paat at……paat at………..familiar waves , notions of toils

un wound to find nothing but a wonder.

But a wonder, a wondering, wondering star

far from home yet not so far,

close enough to feel, footsteps arrive at dawn,

forlorn sits the shaman,

that’s where we are we are the wondering star

the traveling star whilst sitting down.
Perpetual movement..

TO FEEL THE WONDER IS THE WONDER FOR FREE

yet it seems that in these lives..
THERE IS NOTHING THAT IS THERE ... all but perceptions , perceptive chance that may so happen to cross , with yours or the ants or the bees


THERE IS  NO THING THAT is free,
but there is exchange.

did i tell you?
my face changes
depending on
who's looking

to some i seem southern spain
to some i seem from the Ashanti tribe.

Reading the air , salt hanging on the lips of this breeze
current spray travels inland          far beyond beach dunes
rolling in
with the edge of a storm breeze and the unmistakable smell of
almost-ready-to-fall rain.

with war , we assume peace is a scary notion ,
that peace is worth killing for - worth maiming for , worth spitting at.

Peace is an idea that steals children from homes , and taxes from banks to the pocket of rank, and fee and file and fickle thumbs , where the money rolls plenty in the pockets of some.

Enigmatic and sulphuric
wonders and detouring ,
outside the box alluring
tempter of faint touches
skip the lust head to lunches

dip in the basket
dreams collide.
they have to!
BUT THEY NEVER STAY THE SAME
same vibe tho
He lost illusions delusions
and i lost the shy veneer of freelance escort
some may call -

but if you knew me as well as he does then you know that
lovers are lovers , and friends are friends - do everything with your heart
and it’ll ring true in the end.

So i said to him “But can you make me *** and laugh at the same time though? , if you can … well i think i’d burst into flowers or something equally magical…”

he’s very close.

o , i may become a pink daisy

many moons ago we were best friends looking out over the rooftops. spotting the church spires and loft flats.

We’d sit in bed eating blueberries, raspberry’s, salad, whatever i’d baked that week or the leftovers of your culinary experiment. Watching re-runs and obscure horror movies.  i knew i could love you from the moment i saw you, sitting in the dappeled evening light immersed in conversation. the frown on your face spreading into a smile and then a laugh that hit me in waves.

but i never told you. How everytime i saw you my heart would beat so hard and so fast i was afraid it’d give me away and you’d hear it.

they say live with no regrets but how can i when i let you go so easily, when i should’ve fought and protested. stood my ground and bared my heart, my soul, me. becuase you, of all people, speak that lost language.

you’d cradle my heart , embrace my soul and you would have loved me back.

I am a medicine unto myself
from the earth I rise
bringing down the airy heights
living side by side
inside I am alive
in me life breathes!

I beat feet
to the rhythm
that lives within silence,
where all begins.

Frustration gives way to patience, molten fires cool to foggy breath

Peanut butter sticky mouth breaks the dankness

that thick smoke wrapped round my heart disperses
as I laugh and am startled, lightning piercing through clouds -

I've never tried door number 3 before ,

ocean world.
i step into some kind of glass box, this is not the ocean! This is the bath.

I'm in an oversized bath , with some fish and oh , someone is getting in ...
oh right , that is not someone
that is the rain falling ,

oh ,
this is no bathtub this is a pond ,

and i'm still at the bottom , the frog leaps in and the view shifts upside down ,
i'm on a cloud ,

i'm in a tree ,

i'm in a sewer , i'm under the mats
i'm inside the closet and in the heel of a shoe .

it’s ok not to live UP to ALL the weighty labels forcefully pinned to you - heck maybe you should just cruise at mid altitude level until you decide you wanna take a dive in the self created oceans....

DON'T STICK YOUR NOSE INTO PEOPLES BUSINESS, JUST KEEP referencing The Matrix. While simultaneously revealing it - more Dharma , less drama is my motto.

Whoever told you , you just had 2 eyes , 2 ears , 2 mouths , 2 noses ? They were lacking vision. Look for yourself.

Ask yourself this also...

have you seen the chambers of your darkest thoughts?
If you have not, why not.

And if you have , how was it?

Expect better than the daily thoughts of dissections and ******

try going beyond to see how evil you really can be....
then ,

try seeing how heavenly you can think...

it's a fine line between tragedy and comedy.

Don't lose your heads now , lovelies ...

no ying without yang as the old'uns would say.

no ying , without yang....

Alone on a hill stood a tree.


The wind blew in times of change and the heart felt light.
from yonder over there, grew the cherry blossom tree, so wise , so old it’s roots stretched not only down but up , outwards towards the sky. Feeling and receiving the light from the cosmos. It’s wisdom blossomed in each flower and a universe grew nestled amongst the petals. Some touched and shared stories others died before they could even begin and some lay solitary on an outstretched limb. As the flowers fell they mingled with the earth and were consumed again by the tree. This time to be a leaf or some bark. In it’s place grew new flowers , new universes, new worlds , new life , new minds!
And sometimes when the winds were right and the stars and planets aligned the cherry tree would bloom a flower that was a new color. One that was yet to grace these realms. Yet so beautiful and so vibrant is shook the very air around it. This flower was destined to be the seed for a new tree that would in turn produce flowers of such beauty that they too would create universes. The new flower has bloomed and it tangos with the breeze and flutters to the earth. Making music from it’s sighs. A new tree is about to be born. Ready?

Alone on a hill stood a tree.

When faced with the kin of existance turning to me and asking for more when I'm staring down a wall of self-destruction
I falter
I fail
I fall back into the murky past of suckling on my pain and feeding it's worrisome jaunting, it's callous remerks and the uneasy , unquenchable desire for everything to turn around and be just like how it was not , back in some distant moment , back in some dim memory of success of pain or failure.

When faced with the kin of existance turning to me and asking for more
I know i need a rest for just a moment but that moment is not worth it
it is a festering
When faced with the kin of existance turning to me and asking for more
I turn to them and say here it is
here I am
here are my mistakes and my furrowed brows
here is my vulnrable strength
how can I give of that ?
I breathe in deep and relinquish the need to know, the need to be right and I recognize, here in this moment is a greatness , a quality and a strength -
we are alive and it will be aliveness until it's not
it will be aliveness until it's not
and that relentless living will turn and turn and turn as this planet does
as these movements do
and I will also.
This is one of those things that I can't change -

One of those things that I must embrace
One of those things that will make me less crude, softer , wiser , gifted with visions of no more or no less,
recognizing the quagmires

who were they
who are they still

ipad in what looked like japan
but then again , neither of them could read it...
this man + woman even knew -who's who and what's what...
'what was the deal and what was the don't the lines
woah it's true

it's like the darkside

Are you Jewish? or Christian? Muslim or Sikh ?

Do you worship a deity and pray at their feet?

or do you believe in science with proof beyond doubt

that they understand it all no need to worry or pout

are you black? white? asian or mixed?

does your beauty leave all transfixed?

do you listen to rock? or to a classical twang?

or perhaps prefer to be sung to by an old country band?

dress like a girl but your realy a man?

defiantly a woman who does not like a tan?

whatever you are or your prefrence in life

listen now, quite near the end,

you’ll be gasping the last air it’ll twist and bend

you’ll look back to the past and gasp once more

for none of it really matters

not now and

never did before.