my mind spinning,
anxious, out of body
constant vertigo.
drop of a teaspoon
loss of focus.
i have to apologize and ask to repeat
cause i was reflecting on how right my discernment was.
and i chose to ignore it because i had hope
hope is dangerous.
im happier now,
though my physical self is not doing so well as a result of mistreatment. corrupted mentality.
but ill heal with time everyone does.

They wear tissues in their ears
As I speak from my heart
Butchering my feelings
Into useless crumbs
I feel so unimportant
I waste my breath
If it’s not about you
You couldn’t care less
I listen to every detail
To help as much as I can
But why does no one hear me
Do you hear me
Please someone hear me
Please
My skin is turning inside out
Would you be able to see better
Can you see me
You never will.
Their Ignorance will **** me

Will it be too late for you
Will I be happier
Looking down.
As people who looked down on me will look up
Where I gained my broken wings.

Watch the kids from the pantomine
Lollop in a ring
The one hiding behind the scene
Plans to cut the rope
Chandelier landing in the center
Toes crumbling falling apart
Screams fly like sparks
But they can’t stop skipping
Would you rather not speak or die
Id die if I couldn’t say what’s on my mind.
Though I don’t really talk anyway I write that’s what I do
I’m silly, would you rather not write or die.
Not know a love language or die

You gaslight me into insanity
I’m not flattered by your vanity
Truth from distortion
You can’t deceive me
It takes a shattered mind to see
A white rose bleed.
Don’t you wonder
Don’t you sonder
First step possession
Second step control
Third violence
Don’t manipulate
Don’t guilt
I’ll hurt you more
sink my teeth in deep,
quench out the fluids in your brain
You won’t sleep.

Marble floor
Oven on
Shattered plate
Cracked tile
Stick n' poke
Rusty teapot
Poison air
Crooked table
-
you can have one nice thing, one happy smile, and everyone thinks your life is perfect. its beautiful don't get me wrong. when i imagine everything i worded it brings comfort. though the oven on reminds me of Sylvia Plath.

Every time I hear a car outside my window
I think it’s you
My stomach churns.
I wish the whole year was erased
I wish I stayed home with my sister
I wish I was in her arms
I wouldn’t be suffering
I wouldn’t be punching my screen
I wouldn’t be dying inside
You’re killing me.

Standing here
In the mist
Black tar flowing towards me
Blood and sweat dripping from my lips
Blood and tears from my eyes
Blood and infection from my heart
Venom from my veins,
dripping from my fingernails.
Shaking on the inside, flesh bubbling,
Skin still like stone.

I start to fall
& he spits on my soul
Heart turns to stone
I’m all on my own.

All on my own
Solitude owns my spirit
I’d hold your hand
But I couldn’t go near it
I’m scared to love you more.
I’m scared of feeling sore.
Though I think I can handle it,
I’m lacking the will to feel anymore.