480

“Why do I love” You, Sir?
Because—
The Wind does not require the Grass
To answer—Wherefore when He pass
She cannot keep Her place.

Because He knows—and
Do not You—
And We know not—
Enough for Us
The Wisdom it be so—

The Lightning—never asked an Eye
Wherefore it shut—when He was by—
Because He knows it cannot speak—
And reasons not contained—
—Of Talk—
There be—preferred by Daintier Folk—

The Sunrise—Sire—compelleth Me—
Because He’s Sunrise—and I see—
Therefore—Then—
I love Thee—

1680

Sometimes with the Heart
Seldom with the Soul
Scarcer once with the Might
Few—love at all.

My list of goodbyes for this year
Have been extensive and excruciating

I've lost more than I've gained

Every goodbye was difficult
Tearing at the hem of my humanity
My sanity

I've lost more than I've gained

I feel so much older and harder
Yet none the wiser
Just More broken

I feel I like I've lost

Every goodbye is etched into the crevice
Of my ever in creasing in stone hardening heart

And yet it weeps
for what it refuses to let go

Ive lost

These past few days,
i have felt nothing.
Nothing,
as if the darkness abyss has cave in through,
as if i have fell into an endless void,
do not know where the end is.
I’m about to crash,
do not know when will i hit the bottom
Somewhere in the moment between flying and falling,
i’m floating,
burden has been taken away, i thought
but in the same second, it also drags me down
Down
and
down
and
down
and
i still haven’t landed yet,
i am still floating,
i couldn’t wait to get there,
the bottom of the endless pit,
maybe it is okay to get crushed, at least it’ll be over
Ironic i say, there is no end to this

—
24 october 2016,
Monday never felt so blue.
Lived for 74 years in this warm planet,
It took you 7 years to go after your sister,
I didn't cry when i heard the news because i already knew.

I wasn't as strong as i thought,
When the sun was burried by the moon,
The night sky let down it's tears,
As a sign for their grief i guess,
Because mine does too.

I may not have done everything that you asked me to do so,
I am sorry
I am sorry.

I think me and my dad's love for chocolates descended from you,
So does our sense of humor

I am sorry i have been so busy lately,
I swear i am not neglecting you,
But time is merciless.
I remember you wanted to go to that park, which I haven't taken you yet because you are already gone

On my 17th birthday,
I visited you in that hospital
Your eyes were not clear and seemed dim, it doesn't shine as it used to
Your hands tremble everytime you move, but you are still using the black watch that my dad gave you,
You said you were getting better
And you will be home soon
In your hoarse voice
That will be my most-bitter birthday
Because I didn't picture it'll be like that,

I want to take you and everyone else to go somewhere,
But you are already gone before i had the chance to do so


I may not have remembered everything that has happened these past 17 years,
But i will always remember your bedtime-stories that you told me in that orange room,
Or when you laugh inside our old-minivan
Or when you tried to scare me to go to sleep the night i slept in your house
Or when you told me to eat everything that you have cooked..
Which i rarely do,
I'm sorry.

Everything seems too late when you want to say sorry
But i am probably late,
Too late.

That house wouldn't be the same without you,
My childhood days lies there,
Underneath our feet,
Within you.

It Hurts

it hurts , it hurts
when your gaze scan to search for her sight
not mine
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when all the melody that you sang
was for her,
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when the night came and those sleepless night haunt you,
in your thoughts was her,
her ear to ear smile
her full lips
her soft yet shiny black hair
her angelic voice that soothes you through the days,
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when you spend hours and hours with her, and yet
you never feel that it was enough,
all you wanted to do was to be with her,
by her side,
everyday
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when your heart skips a beat every time she looks at you,
even when she did it absent-mindedly

It hurts,it hurts
When i know you would never know this kind of
subtle torture,
A silent scream,
An invisible pain,
You will never know,
And it hurts.