My right ring finger itches from that ant bite.

It was first a little speck of pain.
When I noticed it, it was a dot.

I squeezed it. And the dot was swarming with liquid.

It popped.

My eyes spotted blood.
I wiped it away.

But then that bite kept itching.

So I started squeezing it. And more blood came out.

It hurt. But I kept on doing it.

The bite will now grow big and painful.

Because I kept on squeezing it.

I was hurting myself.
I could've stopped.
But I didn't.

Why?

All this I'm doing...

Is hurting myself.

My fingers type the same topic over and over.

Because it hurts.

It hurts that I can't tell.
It hurts that I am weak and foolish.
It hurts that no one cares.

It hurts that I know it's wrong.
It hurts that I think it will go away
It hurts that what I'm doing I'm wrong.

But I keep on doing it.

I know that the more I love the more pain I will gain.
At the end, it will be me with sorrow.

I'm scared that she won't miss me.
I'm scared that she dislikes me.
I am foolish.

I am weak.

I am tired.

Of this.

Repeating the same trama.

Over and over.

I want to end this.

I an too tired.

There's something funny

Hilarious and weird.

I can smile, grin, laugh.

But I can't frown.

Well,

I suppose that's a good thing, right?

Haha.

Don't play with me like a doll you can throw away at any moment.

Don't think I'm a friend that you can betray that easily.

Don't you think I'm stupid.

Don't you think I'm stupid,

I love time
How it just ticks

Tick tock tick tock

Sometimes it seems so fast
And sometimes it seems too slow

But it goes the same speed ever day

Tick tock tick tock

I love time

It seems invincible

It seems everlasting

It is

Time

To my friends

I laugh a lot

I always smile

And grin

And grin some more.

I always joke around

And laugh at everything I see

I act

Happy.

Filled with joy

And all that

was to hide my sorrows. And to make them disappear.

It was a habit I couldn't stop.

When ever I said, "I'm going to act serious today."
When something bad happened to me I said, "I'll tell my friends. I'll cry." "I'll show them my inner."

But I always end up smiling and laughing. I just can't help but doing that. Not being serious.

Even when I tell a sad story or explain depression, I smile.


And maybe that was wrong.

Maybe I should've showed them my inner.

Maybe then my friends wouldn't know me as just a silly girl who laughs everyday.

Because friends,

I have what's called feelings too.

I have what's called dark past.

I have experienced death with family.

6 of them.

You might have never known.

The dark side of your friend.

That friend who giggled and laughed and smiled and leaned on you and always seemed happy.

I know what misery is!

I too have kept secrets from you all!

I......

I have feelings, okay?

I love to scroll down and like everything I see.

I don't have to read it

I just know it's good

16 followers

Not much

Not much at all!

Only 16

but that number is really special for me

It shows I'm special

16

16 followers

Can you believe that?

"Hey,"
"Do you trust me?"
"Do you?"

"Yes? Really? Thanks!"
"Alright, but you really have to trust me."
"Really."
"Now follow me."

"See that? Avoid it."
"See that? Obey it."
"See that? Love it with all your heart."
"See that? Please don't get near it."

"Hey!"
"You said you would trust me! You promised!"
"What are you doing? I told you not to do that!"
"Stop!"
"Why are you leaving me?"
"I thought you trusted me!"

"See... I told you..."
"I told you to avoid that."
"I told you to obey that."
"I told you to love it with all your heart."
"I told you not to get near that."

"Why would you betray me?"
"I thought you loved me..."
"See look what happened to you now.."
"Look how damaged you have gotten..."
"Look how miserable you look..."

"Don't worry. I still love you."
"No matter how much you hate me, how much you wash you mouth with lies and curses, how much you disobey me, how much you betray me, I'll love you."

"So it's alright.."
"I'm with you.."
"Don't cry.."
"I'll forgive you..."
"I'll give you another chance.."
"I'll love you forever..."

People..

How come there's this one person saying that repeats His love for you...

And you say you're not cared and loved?.....

Do you think you're unloved?

Follow me