i miss the way
his fingertips would wash my skin with flames
and how his eyelids
evaporated when i whispered his name.
at night i dream
that he is flowing through my veins
and in the sunlight
i long for a silent brain

I wanted to be the wind.

I wanted to be the wind flowing through each strand of his hair. I wanted to be the moon, bathing him in my light. I wanted to be his wisdom. I wanted to be the blush in his cheeks. The chill that traveled down his spine and the warmth of his soul. I wanted to be the itch underneath his skin when his thoughts were troubled. I wanted to be his consolation; and his isolation. I wanted to be the blur in his drunken vision. I wanted to be his dreams. I wanted to be his fixation in the night sky and the sweet seduction of his daylight. I wanted to be the plant that he watered with his kindness. I wanted to be the glass that tasted his lips, the breath that escaped his lungs and the oxygen that flowed through his blood. The stardust sticking to the walls of his veins. I wanted to be his lingering melancholy. I wanted to be the tears that once had the chance to live inside his eyelids. I wanted to be every door handle that his fingertips caressed. I wanted to be the saliva resting on his tongue. I wanted to be each and every heartbeat that kept him alive for a moment longer.
Can you understand?
Because I can’t.

I wanted to be the life that he questioned, the life that left him speechless. I wanted to be the information that he craved.

I wanted to be everything.
I wanted to be her.
I wanted to be me.

What would I really do
if it wasn't for you
five minutes of *******
a hundred forbidden cigarettes
a bowl or two
video games maybe
staring into space definitely
agitation
internal *******
a spinning world
lost in my self
that's what I would
be
But for you
My motivation
inspiration
loving hand on my shoulder
loving eyes which
sweep us outside
to long river walks
by the ocean
within the redwoods
open spaces
the possible
many joys
many blissful surrenders
blissful tomorrows.

What would I do without you?
Implode
Explode?
Without our life line
soul to soul
Who would I be
What would I do?

This bundle of fears
This tangle of tears
But for you so dear
I would be lost
in this four white walled room.

But for you I
start the fire
in our morning cold home
coffee fills the air
My feet on the ground
return to center
and am found.

This is now
what I do
because I have you...

Like falling in love
for the first time
all over again.

My heart awakens
with our morning
kiss
My heart opens
with the meeting
of our eyes.

When wrapped
up in your arms
finally home again
and deep inside
an all encompassing sigh.

Our love returns
strong
with the freight train winds
blowing through the pines
ageless as the redwoods
across the expanse
of time
with the intensity
of
the ocean waves
we hear crashing from our bed.

Our love ongoing
our love renewed
our love
my life's blessing
through and through.

Our love a force of nature
a cycle of
sun and moon.
An opening flower
on a spring noon
night blooming Jasmine too.

Each time
we touch
tip to tip
it's like falling in love
for the first time
all over again.

Internet
Text
Promises
of
total intimacy
and
total isolation
simultaneously.