To Ellac, I bequeath a nifty hat trick:
The Treaty of Margas,
Which Rome will probably now
spit upon,
The Sword of Mars,
Once taken by your unscrupulous
cousins, the Vandals,
And Esperanto,
For talk around the water cooler.
To Dingizich, I bequeath my Alexander the Great
Commemorative plates and the Gaza Strip
--have fun with that one.
To Emak, I bequeath the Goths
--Visi, Ostro, and Joy Division.
To all my remaining children,
I leave you a year's supply of
Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat.
To my many, many wives, too numerous to count,
I leave my fingers and toes
Or a portion thereof.
And to that one particular wife, you know who you are,
I bequeath the title
The Scourge of God.