If I saw my grandma today I’d hug her and tell her I understand
I understand why words of affection fell from your lips like young birds unequipped to fly
Why I the love yous were more gestures than genuine
Of courses it was there, it had to be.
that need to remind that you choose life was your receipt for its price
Cause it cost you your youth and taxed your marriage
You meant well, but when you’re a straight shooter there’s bound to be miscues
How can you expect a kid to sail across troubled waters when their sails are clipped by sharp deterring words
Your eyes distant with lack of recognition but you expect connection
A gaze filled with disgust cause you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see.
A reflection of you that can’t be recognized
Grandma who hurt you?
I know who hurt my mom, but who hurt you?

What are scars but life lines engraved in my hands, etching across my skin, imprinted on my mind
Ink stains on my slate
Dark shades seared across my face
Permanently skewering my sight.
I squint so hard to see the light my eyes turn red and still nothing
I cry my heart out and see nothing
I light cause a lights my light.
It’s just easier to spring when a cherry blossoms

The bell rings and its time for lunch.
As I approach the doors I need opened, my steps are halted by a list.
ATTN: For a seat at the table bring your own plate, utensils, and food.
Question?
For how long will I starve before I can sit among those near, those those opinions I hold so dear.
When you call me a peer I see its because you think I'm looking at your plate.. At what you have.
Correction, my envy is of my future self not those who's legs and elbows are easily displaced.
But don't worry, its fine, I will return soon enough.
I'll have my degree in hand ready to wipe the crust of unpolished thoughts from my lips
Food in my bag ****** from a ****.
Plate and fork in the next carved from the bones of the opposition.
Don't worry, I will be ready!
Raise your standards and I will meet them.
this is the last time I will be denied access because nothing you do will take away what I've earned.

My thirst for stability is insatiable, often leading to the murkiest waters.
Amazing what desperation can do to the senses.
I sense she's not right for me.
I sense she's not light but rather shiny malleable foil, adhered to the cracks in my present needs.
My common sense screams the obvious, yet the vapid darkness of loneliness drowns them out.
I'm consumed by it all.
I'm consumed by them all.
I'm consumed by the fall. As I sink deeper, its only natural to cling to whats closest to me.
I greet the facade of you wanting more so openly but I know,
That when I'm home alone your body and energy will only appear to steal my time and company.
But I'll still open the door to you.
Merely your smell will blind me to the signs as taste and touch overwhelm us.
As I converse with your lips, not even my thoughts will be heard as we cry out.
And that bliss will be worth the silence.

O blessed night I am feared
For I am a black man who can't shake spears thrown at him on the daily.
High courts let us get clipped by Brutus- clipped by brutes in fact a loose noose can hang you from any platform
Oxygen doesn't transcend class
Eric wasn't the first nor last unable to Garner breath
I... Cant... Breath.
Bill Cosby's first words after sentencing
Sandra Bland's last thoughts before being propped up
I ride around my city feeling Gray inside, DEAD inside wondering if convenient transportation is worth my life.
Othello ruled this nation for eight years yet noble souls are still treated as peasants.
I mean if all the worlds a stage, then why do they play us only when we're players or when the play, us.

I have a vision of you. Theres excitement in your eyes. Your toes are writhing in ecstasy to rhythmic cadence. The song you sing as I play your instrument makes for a sweet melody. Your back arches like radio waves with each note as I stroke the deepest cords. Playing your song to end, chin deep as I bathe in the applause.. I think it should go something like that.