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 Jan 2023 Cognitive Conflict
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she stands there,
wind through her hair,
dazed and unaware,
numb and hopeless,
a broken goddess.

she stands there
waiting for time
to fade her away
into the dark, cold night.
Yea yea
Can barely feel my hands
Yea
Not feeling so well
But I can’t even
Stand
Yea
Still rolling around
Head in the ground
Nowhere to go
No
Can’t think for myself
I need someone else
For I am the foe
Woah
Don’t want to go there,
Can barely repair,
What I did to myself
Thinking lost and alone
Was the progeny flow
And I learned how to turn it
Up into aglow
I’m sorry
If my worries
Control me
I’m sorry
If my depression
Wins over me
I’m sorry
If you think
I’m an adult
And smart
But I ain’t that
I’m just 26
And anxious
Everyday I cast my line
No expectations, killing time
It's what I do under my big Oak tree
No interruptions just nature and me

Same ole pond, different day
I get a bite in a furious way!
Rod creeks, line spools!
"I'm equipped with amateur's tools!"

The rod is bending, it might break
"How much more of this can I take?!"
Muscles burning
Every inch, an earning

Almost there; the rod gives crash!
With a net & knife; in I splash!
This behemoth of no renown
Lurking just outside my home!

A war is fought: Man against Fish
One of us is walking out of here--the other; a dish
The sun was low in the sky
When I dragged my prize to land dry

It was the talk of the town for years
So many free beers
But, time aches on
Not oft now do I hear that song
Of, me & "The Big One"

Time sometimes moves slow, then all of a sudden; fast!
Too often I spend on things past
I miss that big, fishy *******
I wish he could have gotten in the last word
I miss our day of fun
We all depart
What is the taboo?
"A broken heart"?
"What you can't do"?

Meanings many
But, not yours
Another penny
Master's chores

Fill on pills
Another zombie
Subscribe for thrills
"I can to be"

There's a demon inside
That we can't hide
Validation-high
Wonder why...

The emptiness
Eats us inside

The strings
Cumbersome
Playthings
To those who've 'won'

It's just a game
Medicate
Product's aim
Dollars wait
JUST ANOTHER DAY

the darkness
felt uneasy
shifted within itself

a darker piece of darkness
giving way to
a lighter piece of darkness

as if the night
was peeling away
bit by bit

until the day began
to bleed through
and through it

the day now neither
one thing or the other
trapped between times

caught in a tree's branches
as reality began
to grab hold of itself

a church now
starting to reveal
what it once was

and now
is
once again

as slowly a town
unfolded its streets
dawn greeting its many birds

until there was
nothing but the daylight
the darkness nowhere to be seen
the brightest star
of that well-known
oft mistaken
constellation
disfigured and disguised
by the shifting
of Rorschach’s clouds
the temporary flair
of an unremarkable
astral body
burning through
the upper atmosphere
forgotten immediately
as it fades
along with
any accompanying wish
the strobing beacon
of wingtip
or undercarriage
marking the distance
needed for safety
moving through turbulence
restlessness and discomfort
watched with
ill-considered envy
in this overcast
night sky
those twinkling lights
will often go
unnoticed or
simply ignored
my eyes.
Watered from the guise of men.
Take my ears.
I can't hear the lies
again.

Take away
this mouth.
So tired of talking.
Echo's ricocheting
all spoken.
And the chain of screams
are now broken.

Take away
my shoulders.
I've carried all this weight.
Now that I'm older
I can't stand up straight.
Hunched over,
my face is in my plate.

Take away
my arms,
the fleshy pendulums.
Back and forth they swing,
holding onto nothing.

Take away
my legs.
They're growing spider veins.
They don't move me,
and the feet too!
The bunions don't fit
inside my shoes.
I sit
I lay
I close my eyes

I breathe
I try
To slow my mind

I drift
I fall
After some time

I sleep
I dream
I'm deep inside

I move
I seek
I try to find

I walk
I search
Can't find the light

I hurt
I feel
It in the night

I fear
I shake
I can't deny

I see
I run
These demons, mine

I cry
I try
To find out why

I stop
I face
These tangled lies

I fight
I love
With all my might

I know
I'm safe
If I must die

I'm lost
Forgot
It's just a ride

I toss
I turn
From side to side

I sweat
I scream
My body fights

I push
I burst
Eyes open wide

I wake again
To midnight cries.
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