They call me disaster,
Stupid, dumb, basic, cry baby,
Lame, ugly, impossible, failure,
Bland, plain, trash, nerd,
Crazy, ******, fake, dork,
Mistake, accident, brat, loser,
Bad, untalented, useless, forgettable,
Worthless, hopeless, shameful, tone deaf,
Cow, fat, insane, dull,
Incompetent, idiot, sick, gone,
Terrible, unbearable, diseased, tired,
Special, gross, unwanted, desperate,
Try-hard, whale, pig, liar,
Never enough, child, insecure, sad,
Scared, cutter, suicidal, friendless,
Invisible, waste, self absorbed, unloved,
Torn, replaceable, copy, runaway,
Snake, snitch, sneak, lazy,
Alone, unneeded, loud, unforgivable,
Annoying, attention seeker, weak, paranoid,
Clueless, low life, dense, dark,
Freak, mess, lost, disturbing,
Last choice, lost cause, slacker, bag lady,
Chubby, poison, horrible, sleepless,
Cockroach, gullible, sloppy, short,
Joke, cope out, foolish, selfish.

All in one name.
"Emily"

-3nwlry

As I sit in this room.
Wondering what to do.
I sat myself next to "friends"
Who don't fully understand.
I was told to be my best.
And not show how I feel.
I was told to sit still
But I can't even manage that.
I try to pretend I'm not me.
My "friends" ask how I am
I say "ok" and leave it that.
They look at me with unbelief
So I say "I'm just a little tired."
They think they care.
I'm sure they know
That I'm a little different.
They end up leaving with the bell.
I sigh.
We will see how this ends.

-3nwlry

Bandaids are peeling.
Time is running.
Cracks not healing.
Heart is crumbling.
Moon is waning.
Patience is wasting.
I am breaking.

-3nwlry

Every single lie of "oh, I'm fine"
Keeps me wide awake at night.
Wide awake at night.
And if they don't believe, I say
"I'm a little tired." " I'm a little tired. "
And when I fall down,
Everybody laughs, everybody laughs.
And I cry with
Every little fight, every little fight.
Can I die?
I wish I was a toy, a doll, a lie
I wish I wasn't real, I wish I wasn't real.
And now I fall down
With tears in my cheeks
And cuts in my skin.
And when I'm right there.
Slowly bleeding out. Slowly bleeding out
I realize. Some one said my name
Said my name on a kind tone.
They say that they are here. They are right here.
Then I fade away, as they try to save my life
Try to save my life
I wake up and I see them start to smile
Start to smile
I smile and cry.
Thinking of a life that is gone.
They care. They live. They feel. They died.
They watch you now
Are you satisfied?

-3nwlry

While I sit in my room,
You are down the stairs.
Father is yelling and blaming you.
You don't know how to feel.
Your voice is trembling.
I know you're about to cry.
I want to shout
And shove him away.
But it wouldn't change a thing.
After your "talk" to
You stumble up the stairs.
You'll go to bed and
Cry quite hard,
Missing your sweet mother.
I was there, open armed
To give a goodnight hug.
I whisper that I love you.
And I hear your honest reply.
I'll always love my brother.
I'll keep him within sight.

-3nwlry

In the dark, in the dark
I am dancing.
In the night, in the night
I am singing.
In the light, in the light
I am drowning.
In the day, in the day
I am dying.
Yes, at night, in the night
I am crying.
I can't sleep, I can't sleep
Cause I'm thinking.
I want to sleep forever.
At midnight, at midnight
I am cutting.
My wrists. My neck.
My ankles, they bleed.
Nobody sees. Nobody sees.

-3nwlry

No time for rest.
No time for sleep.
No time for love.
No time to weep.
The days are slow.
The nights are fast.
When I close my eyes
I think of death.
The rain is pouring.
The swings are swinging.
The wind is howling.
The girl is crying.
I feel like dying.
I'm tired of crying.
I wish I was normal.
This isn't very formal
No one sees me
Wishing to be somebody
Nobody saves me.

-3nwlry