i miss you
like i miss the stars
in sky above the mountains
when i wander into the city
these street lights
just don't compare
and i miss you
like i miss the river
gently rushing over skin
this empty shower
just doesn't compare
i miss you
like nature
after deforestation
to our love
it was breathtaking
and it's fall
haunting

s.s

i apologise
to every soul that has lingered with mine
i have a bad habit of disappearing

my head is a dark space my body is a scary place and that is the truth i face as i unravel into space full of dark matter with thoughts of i don't matter while the world is oppressing the bit of joy i call a blessing and i am afraid i will always feel alone and never again will i feel at home in someone's arms where there is no harm i am sorry to those i have touched you are dreadfully out of luck i can't break my habit of disappearing the darkness is always commandeering

s.s

i lose myself
like a ship in a storm
but you're the lighthouse
bringing me home

s.s

it's been almost three years
some nights i still cry to sleep
the way you hurt me never heals
i feel it surface and weep
my mind is covered
in scabs and scars
tonight i'm bleeding
and seeing stars

s.s

at some point in time
i thought losing
the one i called mine

was the most painful loss
i could endure
until i was laying
on my bedroom floor

shivering and numb
head twirling, screaming
like a broken album

it's at four in the morning
when i still haven't slept
with god knows what in my system
completely unkempt

that i could see now
losing myself
was far worse somehow

s.s

when i lost myself
it truly hurt the most
because how do you heal
when you are the ghost

s.s

Shadow falls
On the clouds
Like light
Lighter than feather
Are the birds
Touching the skies

The cereal of the morning
The jam and bread
The haze and shade
Of a rainy day

Birds sing better
When the sun's out
Shining
I keep a pocket
Full of dust
For my possessions
Full of pistols and guns
The deceased don't ask for much

there was a time when we were in love.
there were weeks when you and i would talk until dawn would break from the mountains.
when i would fall asleep knowing i was loved, and would wake up happy and ready to be loved again.
there were days that i would count down until the day i could see you again, those days were the worst.
but the best days were the ones when i could see that face of yours. the face i loved more than you could ever know.
there were hours spent laughing our ***** off under a clear sky and a city of stars.
those hours felt like lifetimes, until they left like seconds.
because soon it curdled;
weeks were spents worrying, days were spent crying, and hours were spent looking at an empty inbox.
but i do promise you there was a time when i loved you. and even if it was only for a split second, a time when you loved me too.
because somewhere, there was love intertwined in the knot of “us.”
it ended and i’m okay, because it was for the best. but i someday, somewhere, in some lifetime, our “us” lasted until the end of time.
and there’s a part of me that wishes more than anything, that that lifetime was this one.