I have to get up, go out...
Get out, no more hiding,
Go back to your pretense of a life.
you have homework,
That project and school...
I'm too tired.. I can't keep going,
Can't keep up with this charade...
I'm so scared, sad or afraid...
All this is so much... too much...
Yet not enough, never enough.
Medical appointment on Wednesday...
I don't wanna go... Don't wanna move,
I don't ever wanna leave this room...
Lock me in here... Away from the world,
Hide me, imprison me, I'll be safe...
I don't need food... No water...
Just me and my demons, my friends..
I'll just lie here waiting...
They will be back to take me,
When I'm ready.. When I've wasted away.
I'll be okay, no, better than okay...
I'll sleep and wait and it'll be okay...
Everything will be okay... If you just,
Let me sleep in here Forever...

We never got to see the place they told us could be ours.
Till this very day, arms sore and feet calloused
I reap no harvest, no achievement, just a huge world, a insignificant wanderer
Even when I slip there's no choice for me but to stand once again
Not tall or proud,  nothing majestic, just barely balancing
Walking a tightrope with my heart on the line,  doubts crowding my mind and my sanity under
Well, they used to say the world could be ours
They said if we worked hard enough
"The reward would be nothing short of splendor and grandiose! Trust us! "
They doled out with those words and such confidence, our naivete led us to believe
Led us into our own labyrinth of madness
Darkness ascended without a warning,
Without a sound, no warnings, no sirens
We had no where to run, no where to hide
It was worst than hurricane Katrina
Worst than the ruins carved out by lava
A natural disaster doesn't even to begin to cover what this could be
Its a catastrophic apocalyptic tragedy that words couldn't begin to explain

Large orbs spinning around us
Doing triple and quadruple pirouettes
Withholding a power of such magnitude
We couldn't begin to envision
The dark clouds obscuring our vision
Preventing us from seeing through this mist
Past the rainy clouds and dark ages
Pieces of the past that were misplaced
Like a deck of shuffled tarot cards in my mind
Blocking us from looking towards the future
A place we didn't know existed
We sat uneasy and silent like lost ghosts
Beneath prison walls built by our very own hands
Curious lights hiding behind glass eyes
Glowing a painful sort of unseen ray
Spewing words unknown to man kind
Whispering secrets lost to our ears and humanity
Burning holes through my eyelids
Casting shadows on my battered heart
Cursing wailing begging for exile
From this physical form of fear and terror
Such are the things we look at
But not see for we dare not acknowledge
Despite their ever prominent presence

The thought of food alone
Sends a shiver through me
My inability to fathom
How such compost could be fuel
The sight of people eating
Makes my stomach grow weak
Filling me with nausea
A hollow sort of ache in my chest
My heart pounding in my ears
Cold sweat trickling down my back
Feeble bones aching for rest

****** child
It's time you grew up
Make that banal choice
You could be a *****
**** them wrinkled *****
Or be a ******* man
Welcome to the real world
Be it a fever be it cancer
No one gives a ****

This is life

The silence ringing in my ears
Pleas from my silicone heart
An empty shell acting as a machine
Holding too many responsibilities
Too much for her to bare
Resulting in countless errors
Systems malfunctioning
I just want to be loved
To be held in your arms
To have you ruffle my hair
Tell me everything will be better
What's wrong with being a child