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I lived a large
part of my youth
carrying things
that didn’t
belong to me
Indeed I’ve carried
their loads for
too **** long
The load of how
they felt about me
the load of what
they’ve said about me
the load of how
They’ve perceived me
for far too long
These load was never
mine to carry
to begin with
Today I am free
free at last
from criticism
fears , insecurities
and other people’s
opinion
These loads
are no longer mine
to carry
Regardless
how desperate
and foolish
they may seem
Set yourself FREE .... This load ain’t yours to carry!
 Nov 2018 Imanuel Baca
Naomi
I feel betrayed.
I feel abandoned.
I resent you.
I am angry
because
I want you to feel
the same amount of pain
that you have caused me.
....But then again,
I don't want that for you at all.
 Nov 2018 Imanuel Baca
xcigsx
We
 Nov 2018 Imanuel Baca
xcigsx
We
We talk to fill the space
Carried by the weight
We brush off the world, from our feelings
We let the weight sink us in
So deep that it was beneath me
I couldn’t climb up, to save you
So I gave up, and left you
All that is shattered,
The doomed and the dead,
Darkness in weather,
Their love has had,
Impure is indeed not right,
To describe their fate
One is the king of destruction,
The other is his whim.
 Nov 2018 Imanuel Baca
Andrew
Let us walk in the woods in
The mountains in the fall and
Convince ourselves side by side
Hand in hand (and alone in our
Minds) that not only do we have a problem but it is the very jaw we feed from that gnaws at our every moment of existence.

Let us see the sun light and shadow
And climb mountains and swim
In rivers after flood, let the sunlight
Caress our very bones and let us
Be in love with every smallest
Particle of energy and with the
Whole weight of the universe.
And history, let us not forget it is
One of harmony and despair.

The desert in winter at night. That is
Where I am now thinking of
Such things  mountains and forests,
Death and peace and time
 Nov 2018 Imanuel Baca
Stanley
Poems aren't written,
they're found,
Somewhere in your head the words are waiting,
They're sprawled across the floor,
You just need to pick them up,
Make a path with them,
Let your path guide observers,
And if you can't write,
Walk down somebody's else's path first,
First poem I've written, to anybody who reads this is hope you enjoyed it and it made you day a little better
There are lights in the sky
Each a lamp lit for someone else
And none for me

I’d sent flame after flame
Up there for you hoping that
One day they’d be bright enough
To reach you

To listen to your words of white heat warmth
That will send a wave of fire through
The void and light a billion stars
For me
Even if you didn’t intend to
Your words, your smile,
Even your silence is what
Lit up the sky for me
So that I saw besides everlasting darkness
And ever more endless shadow
There are life brewing in the silence
Though not for me

The silence only smothers, and suffocates me
Like an invisible hand tightly gripping onto my throat
Without me noticing, ever so violently
Yet ever so slowly squeezing harder and harder
Till I cannot breath, not knowing the reason why

It forces me down into the depth of the abyss
Till I am no longer one, but one with the shadow
One with the bottomless pit of despair and fear
Till I am no longer within the void, but am the void

Yet, when I saw you
When I met you
I was lifted up out of where I thought I belonged
And could hold against the weight
Of all that is without light
The gloom, the shadows, the night
The black of space
The silence that cries
And floated weightlessly
Above, below, and within
All there ever was, and will be
For, even though I know not how
My love for you
Has the power to lift me up:

Beyond the wild fields of stars
Beyond the glistening ocean of light
Beyond the dreamless darkness
Beyond the unkempt bed of life
Beyond the inescapable swamp of death
And beyond
All of time

To a place where only the existence of you
Holds out its shapeless hand to me
And lead me
Rather the merely dust, and breath of me
Through the void, to the empty vessel
Carrying all the pure
Feelings, senses, love, and even pain

Though it is a place
Way beyond the rays of any sun
Way beyond the circle of life
Way beyond decay and apathy
Way beyond flesh and blood

I saw every color
Every being
Every state of being
Every possible and impossible thing
Every time and space
Pass through the ghost of you and I
And cease to be
At least that’s what they appeared to be

The twinges, the sharp electric sparks
You sent through out every atom of my body
And every participle of my soul
Told me that

They are no longer life that exist exterior to us
But within us, or rather
They are us, were us, and will always be
As they have never existed otherwise
In and since that moment of eternity

I see every river through me
My blood and hair
Every fish, your touch
Every dancing seagrass
The joy your gaze ripples through me

I see every mountain and valley
All around you
Every bump on your skin
Every wave on your fingertips
Every stone and sharp edges, my pain
Every field my words of love unending

Every burning star
Dots our shining eyes
Every moon, every heavenly body
That passes, they are the fleeting
Yet never ceasing reflection of affections
Waltzing again and again across our sight
Playful like children
Not yet exposed to any worldly sorrow

Every bit of space without light
Every pit of pure darkness
Caves of eternal shadow
Every howling silence that plunders pass
They are too, forever part of our love
For
They are the pain of longing
That makes each moment of proximity
So frighteningly precious
Afraid to be lost, so keeping it close
Like a token of innocent love
Pass down through generations
Till no being of flesh and mind
Remains, yet the dust still holds
Tightly onto it
Never letting go

And,
At last
Every bit of you
Like water droplets through the given earth
Like sunshine in an inseparable bond with life
Like rains of stars that will never leave the sky
Have seeped, melted, and spread
Through every drop sweet and bitter of me
Till I am no longer just acquainted with living
But am the very dream of life.
I have been struggling with writer's block again.
So here's a repost from not so long ago:
Originally posted:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2582547/the-very-dream-of-life/

And inspired by:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2581869/star-seed-/
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