Maybe God
Sends us nightmares
So our living reality
Doesn't seem so bad
When we wake up.

Until we wake up
And remember
We are living in a nightmare
We can't escape
Except by going
To sleep
                                                           ­                         
                                                               -Megan E. Freeman, "Alone"

I am here today,
In some sort of way,
That I, myself,
Cannot comprehend.
I have been loved,
Been wanted, been free,
All by the one,
That is living in me.
And I've been encouraged,
Affirmed and helped by and by,
You guys have been,
A blessing now and then.
It's hard to believe
This started with something,
I thought that I wouldn't even try.

I long to be known.
To be seen.
To be heard.

I long to be held,
In a comforting embrace,
And told that everything will be okay

I always thought someone would find me.
That it would be a perfect teenage romance,
Like you see in stupid fantastical films.

So I waited.
And waited.
And waited.

But no one came.

I was a naive fool.

Maybe it's just not meant to be.

do you know the weight of it?
clawing your way up
test after test,
year after year,
to be the perfect reflection of the dreams they have for you,
those that are now your own.
where your worth now hangs.

when they see the prize,
they say, 'oh it comes so easily to her'

Easily?

i bled for this.
i screamt for this.
and my mind?
it whispers
'this is just what you're supposed to do'
you are 'gifted'
its your mere responsibility.
nothing to celebrate. nothing special.

isnt it?