I’m biting the bullet, with tears in my eyes

Forcing my footsteps toward paths I despise

I will do it all you know

But I don’t want to go

It’s all for you



I’m painting a smile-on, wearing a grin,

But the mirth of this mask I don,
it's wearing thin

My pain, it's growing, dear

But I will persevere

For you



For some ungodly reason I feel lonely, empty, sad

Though you profess your love, and it’s the best I’ve ever had

I miss the holy love

From up above...or so they say...

Is it really greedy to have my little crutch?

Because you know, I love you all so much,

And I’ll give it up for you
...If you really want me to...

Today

At times I’ve believed it

And at other times, scoffed,

One of the oldest of pivotal fears,

Mentioned in scripture and stories and hymns,

The execration is stinging my ears.

And throbbing, echoing, clashing rhythms,

With no beat ...such tension… Distortion’s risings,


A march over mazurka decelerating,

Curious uses for curious things,

Intestinal-pullings, intestinal strings,


Every warping conceived by my kind,

Like tearing of flesh and torture of mind,

Nothing that’s wholesome, nothing that’s good,

The truth bent, the opening crude,

The too-thin passageway out, understood

And my own rotting flesh is my food.

Time is a faucet being slowly opened until the trickle becomes a torrent.
Time is flying by and we’ve been growing together
into one...



You are to me
My everything, True Love,
Filling me with glee,
Ordained by One above

Audaciously you leapt
Into my longing life
And though your mother wept
Steadfast, you quelled her strife

I, kneeling in the leaves
You, in that clownish-dress
Your acquiescence thrilled me
When you uttered, simply, “Yes.”

And now, like melting candles
Our beings intertwine
You hold me by the handles
I drink your kiss like wine…

It’s of the finest vintage
This kiss of yours, so fine
Each lip expressly minted
To snugly fit with mine

The mountains stretch toward heaven
Sky lies down with sea
The Lord has blessed a fallen being
And you are all to me

It's always just out of reach it seems
Dreams are something better forgotten
Rotten, my wrongs, with regrets of paths not trod
Fodder for turning and throwing my lot in

I desire it in the innermost places
Paces I've put us through seem to outshine
Divine interventions I thought that I wanted
Haunted my wish for true joy to be mine

HELLO UP THERE LORD, Is there anyone up there
Cherishing children who call on thy Name?
Shame that I can't seem to hear see or feel you
Why so taciturn, seems such a shame

You, dear, my life, and my true love forever
Hold keys to bonds that none other can sever
You are: reason to wed, or even to die,
The laugh in my belly, the tear in my eye,
The one single being who knows me, all through.
And all of my love, dear, is due only you

When first I encountered your radiant charms,
I knew I must hold you, my love, in my arms
And never relinquish this perfect embrace!
‘Lest I should miss kissing your smile and your face,
And then could I give of my self nevermore.
All other loves lack, save the one I adore.

My foresight and function dulls daily, my bride,
And fails, for your beauty should oft’ be descried,
And my lips fail to offer the reverent speech
This lack, bind it up, Oh, my God, I beseech!
But there is the rub, for although I don’t say-
I still feel a thrill when we’re still; when we play…

This heart is still filled when you come home, my Love.
Each day, it’s made clear, I should praise God above
For granting me someone whose soul matches mine,
Whose embrace is holy, whose kiss is divine,
This Love we have found, all other loves seek! -
The lovers of old and the Poet’s mystique

And now that our love is begetting new souls,
I thrill at the thought!  And I cherish our roles!
The glint in your eyes, it unveils motherhood,
Your tenderness shows and your love’s understood,
Our future envisioned, joy fills my whole being!
Passion for you trumps my hearing or seeing!

So then, let it be known to our progeny:
That our love is true and there never could be
Another love lasting through future or past,
That’s truer or deeper than ours, or as vast!
Let none through the ages e’er have cause to doubt
My love for my dear one ‘till breath shall run out.

And when I lay dying, if you have gone first
Pray God will have mercy and make my heart burst
Or if it is I who has gone on ahead,
I pray that eternity makes, for the dead,
The time seem an instant, so when I arrive,
I’ll turn and behold you, forever alive!