On the Southside
It's humid
Even in winter
It has its own air
It's own feel
On the Southside
everything is español
And when trash blows down the street it's illuminated and mystical
They shake your hand and look down your shirt
In the Southside the music is better and the food is cheaper but the nights are colder and feelings feel deeper
I feel like a ***** when I walk through
But I've never felt more at home

I hurt too

Now you can sleep I guess
Unless you still can’t

Caro doesn’t know
Ale from Alej
Or an oven from a stove
She knows her hair is long
And straight
And she loves to watch it grow
She doesn’t know
Her smile
On everything
Is the best
I’ve ever seen

Incredible
Are your eyes
And your face between my thighs
Take me where we can hide and ride and fight and lose sight of all the things you fail to tell me
Always doing something wrong
Always looking for another high
And you won't entertain me

Tongue Mouth- Swish Swash
Tongue Twister- Tongue in Cheek Smile
Time is Coming Up
Take a Step Back
Here's the Rush
Head Starts to Swirl and Collapse-
Cold Beneath- Sticky Grains of Encompassing Cool Fresh-
Up Again- Heavy Head- Can i Hit Again-
Yes- Always and Free
Sheets so Cold and Hard
Bed so Hard
ceiling stark white
Already In
Always- Just a Friend
Body like Lungs- Detached from my Head
Ice Blue Eyes
And... Over
Time is up
Clarity Waits Outside the Door

I don't get to **** up
And when I do
You don't see it
I fall in line
And you think what a weak coward
Lost in the cacophony of the insecure
Jaded and torn
And did you know I'm better than her
And you carry a badge with you that says
I'm one of you
******* and your coconut milk lattes
Pretentious over weight girl with abusive boyfriend

You break my heart
Sticky
Gooey
It pulls apart
So easy
And then you
Smash it back together
So easy

Never wanted **** more after I had satisfied your urges
It just wasn’t my experience like you said it was
I don’t enjoy competing when racing for the greater good
Even with the incentives
I never hated you because you hated me
It hasn’t been my experience to fight against jealousy
I only like to swim in feelings not compare travesties

I keep forgetting your name
I remember it when you ask
I’m good at hiding my shame
It helps reliving my past

Water fountain
Electric pulse
Wichita mountain
Diabolicals

Rubber snakes
Glasses hid
Heart breaks
Baby slid

I
Can't
Wait
To have my blood on your hands
I
Can't wait
To shake
And tremble
Beneath you
I can't wait
To lose all of my control
And give it all to you

I can’t dive anymore
Like I once could
Like I should
It feels dry at the core
No heart inside boils like once before
End of the road
I suppose
I was supposed to be
Should have
Could have
Would have
Never to be

It’s the tip tap of the phone screen scrolling
Heart beats and doesn’t stop growing
Gooey sticky
And you just noticed
Excited at the notion
Of you going round with other girls
And then the drip drop
my hearts frozen

I told you I didn’t want to be with you
You said you were sorry and you wouldn’t be able to continue a relationship with me
I told you I don’t want a relationship anymore
You said you were sorry but you’d have to leave

We pass around orajel and visine
Manzanas y tangerines
We marvel at red white and green
Hugs are kisses and kisses should be seen
Turning around cookies
so thin
A revolucíon of what could have been
Of girls saying don’t look
And boys saying read books
And the result is being booked and taken back to the truck

A chicken flocks to birds who can't fly
I swat at a mind reading fly
Take me down to where the bullets shoot the sky and the writing on the walls seem to grammatically resign
Show me where the lights hum low and rent 1st knows nobody is home  
Just driving under the bridge
Where all the ancients sip and wish
And I'm down here looking at parked cars wondering where all the car parts are
It's a color of orange and green a bit of rust when you dwell in the scene it's alot of color and music and Como se dice and we're all abusive

**** and
I
N
  H
   A
    L
      E
One two three
Breathe out
I'm still crying
But I've stopped
T r E m b L I nG

I have my own dance
No one can compete with
Not once
It’s a style of its own
A clap and a stomp and a twirl
So many twirls
Makes you want to clap along
Makes your heart beat in rhythm
Watch me dance a dance you’ll never dance
Watch me bleed from my toes and knees and heart
The drip drip drip keeps rhythm better than that heart
And I hope you watch with the same envy that caused me to be lonely
I hope you wear the same evil eye badge that I wear on the soles of my shoes
Stomping and clapping and twirling

I get Bored quick
Bored quick
And quicker as I get older
I get sick quick
Sick of small talk and dead ends
Sick of handshake. Smile. Pretend
I can’t stick with it
I can’t stick
I get bored quick

Drinking after you
My favorite
So yummy
I like to lick
The spit
from your tongue
And the ***
From deep inside you
Where I want to be
So yummy

Lights off
Door closed
Head on desk

I’m January the winds did howl
Through the floor boards
And my heart
Still
We clung to them
The window shook with each shake
And the stove smoked like a train
My tears froze and my body ached
But I’d give anything to see you again

I saw the ball fly over fast
I was brave
A hero at last
And on the stool I stood
Peaking over the wall of wood
When you a dog of 2 feet tall and 42 teeth
Began to call
I jumped down
And slid away
Slithering slitherly as I pray
As not to wake it’s owner

I've slept on the couch
And floor
And bed
I want more
From you
I want to
Milk you dry
I want to twist you
And **** you
And *******
And pretend

Me no importa
Me no siento
Yo quiero un escalera
Pero no lo busco
Yo quiero el sol y la luna y estrellas

Bait and switch
I guess I was
A disappointment dressed in clothes
A twist of the knife deep inside
My legs spread
On your desk
A **** for sure
You’re impressed
A thong too much for your catholic veins
Throbbing but not enough
Chains on my ankles
Bleach in my hair
You don’t love me now
But all is fair

You would do that and then I would do you and then I wouldn’t stop talking and then you wouldn’t sleep
I would think to myself you don’t love me
And you would say nothing
And it would feel empty
I love the way you have a line on your nose
And I love the way your body tenses down to your toes
I like to lick and **** what you just licked and ******
I like the way you ****
Again and again

Rope bracelets
Carniceria
Salón
Si ****
Si quemah cuh
Agua Fresca
Gooooaaaallllll
My home
Thank you

You can almost see her cry
Eyes filling to the brim
And when you think it’s going to happen
her heart drinks them all again

Seeing you again
Put me back to a time and place
Made me spin
Dress twirling
Hair flowing
Seeing you again
Made me whole inside
Made me dance when I stepped
Getting lost in your eyes
Throwing away my pride
To see you again

Everyone but you and me
I'm tugging at my dignity
I play the part so carefully
So you can't control me
I know everyone calls it flirting
But I call it working
And it's working

Different rhythm
In bed than him
Different melody
To you than me
A day ago
I felt so alone
Now I wish
You would leave

“Don’t lay your pearls before swine”
But who else do I know

Night Drives
cold window air

Aggressive
Like the door I can't shut
Like the call I can't take
Like the money he pays
Like the way he talks
Like his stare
Like the kiss I can't stop

Your eyes bright
Twist my side
I have nothing to say to you
Inhale
Inhale
I love you too

The lion tamer tames lions
He beats the soul until it bleeds
He drinks the blood until he's full
So full he could *****
But he does not
The lion tamer sees sharp claws
He draws them out and peels them off
He cracks his whip until it snaps
And still the lion comes crawling back

Needle in the hay
Heart in my chest
My soul defrosts
The more you toss out
I like to collect
The pennies you throw
Crossed all the bridges
I still can't say no

My
Aches
Ache
I
Ache
For you
To shake
Me
Into
Two
The way you do
When you pull me
So rough
Into
You

I know that rugs get walked on
Regardless of their cost
Regardless of the time it took the man to weave and wash

I know my will is bending
I’m too tired to make it stop
Earthquake floors from the time I was born
Made me realize my cause is lost

You’re the defense for the offense
White flag you’ve won I’ve not
I’ll go away and build again
And this is where you’re top

I’m just a rug to walk on
A player in a game that won’t stop
I’ve tried my best to defeat it
Now I’d rather just flop

Bravo
Look at that empty bottle of Of
Look at the table
So immaculate
And quirrrrrky
So... you
And you’re so...
Lonely
Distract distract distract
You’re special
Remember?
The town that kicked you out because of your voice and hair and and and mannerisms now treasures you for being so.... you.
So... quirrrrky
So... lonely

Every time I look into your eyes
I realize I’m flying too close to the sun

Sun rays bouncing off the water
A blur like a sleepy I don’t want to get up yet morning
Cold legs
Back
Warm shoulders
Neck
Left right
Left right
And I’m tired
Hanging on the side
Head on my shoulders
Skin wrinkled tight
Backstroke to when the sun was high

Not one
Not one time
Not one look
I cut Out my heart
I wring it out in front of you
The blood drips your favorite melody
It beats for you
As I lay dying

I was close
I was really close
Closer than I ever am
On your lap
Kissing you
And being touched in anyway you wanted to
I was close
Almost broken open
Split in two
Doing what you asked me to
Crawling on my knees for you
Begging for you to want me too  
I was close
I was close to you
Needing you more than you ever knew

Last night
I spilled insecurities all over the floor
I slipped and slid
I crawled on my knees
And climbed my way up the wall
Into your arms
But I never stopped thinking
The stains never go away
And I’m still not okay

100 names I’ve been called
Death 3 times a year
Pushed against walls
Spit in my face
And I let you make me cry
I am the stupidest
I am entertainment

I'm crazy
I hear it alot
From you
And everyone else
I know it
I feel it
I still want you

You’re calm like the shore line
Always changing though
I’m topsy turvy
Crashing and splashing
Into you
At full speed
Salt burns me
But slaps you harder
Bleeding pores
Close another chapter

I’m so
Stuck
In you
On you
To you
I’m so beneath you
And
Between you
I can’t say no
Or yes
I just let you
take me in
And
Out
And up
And down
Underneath you