Grandpa you and I always did things together, now its almost time to say goodbye. Even though were far away, I still hear your voice in my ears, weird right, your alive, but I still hear your voice.
You always took me fishing, and hunting, you made me lough so much. Every hollween I came to your house and steal your candy. Every year got bettter and better. Then I moved away and when I came to Montana to see the family, I saw you and you made me smile and all the memories came back, which made me cry because..we wont be able to make more. You are now 98 or 99 now and its amazing you lived this long. Everyday I try to ask mom how your doing, But everyday I get more scared and more sad that summer might of been my last with you. I have never been more scared in my life. I wish I could be there to say goodbye. I know maybe it's not your time, but one day it will be. I hope i'm there to say goodbye. You mean the world to me. Your my bestfriend. Well in thoses years you were my only friend. I didn't like talking, but I love talking to you. You understood me when no one else did. I'm sorry i'm writing this when I could just say it. I will never forget you, my bestfrend, the one person who could make everyone lough. I miss you today, tomomow, and forever

I hate the way I look in the look in the mirror.
I hate the way my face looks.
I hate the way my old clothes don't fit me anymore.
I hate how I want to cry, but I can't
I hate how everyone is happy, but i'm not.
I hate when people talk crap about me.
I hate that no matter what I do or say it is never good enough.
Sometimes I think whats the point of living, when your just gonna die any way.  
I'm not perfect
I'm not good enough
I'm nothing
I'm a Nobody
Maybe I'm better off alone
Because then.. No one can hurt me even more then I already do.

Dear anut paula

Yes I am writing you a letter... Why? because.. I never got to say goodbye. You made me lough, you always told me when I came over to eat whatever I wanted. You loved hearing me lought and sing. You always love the fact I dance like I was alone. I remeber christmas, that was the last one with grandma. On the drive back you called my dad that night i'll never forget, dad lost his it,he criedand cried. Then amy passed away and we all lost it. Then.....You passed away in your sleep, I never got to say goodbye.  Dad droped his phone and I almost fell to the ground. I wish I talked to you more. But, I didn't. I'm sorry I never called, I wish I did. I love you and Miss you. R.I.P Anut Paula... You will always be in my heart

I can't see
I can't move
you left
you just sat there and left
I bagged
I fought for you
And this is how you repay me
I love you
But, I guess...You don't love me

I see you everyday
I can hear my heart beat fast
I can tell i'm smiling when I saw you
I can tell when I feel hurt because your with her
I blush red when your near
I lought when your name pops up
I wish you saw how I felt about you
I wish you...could see that we could be more then friends
But your with her
And you look happy
You look like she is everyhting
You look at her, like she is the only thing in the world
Like it's just you and her and no one else
Maybe that could be me and you
But.....You blong with her
And I know that
She is everything
That I will never be

Dear friend,
I'm sorry
I know i'm not perfect
I know that I lost you
I lost you, to my pain
I let you go
Because I was scared
I was scared that my pain would scare you away
I'm sorry that I keep saying sorry
And I won't stop intell you forgive me
So i'll say one more time
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

Dear mom

Mom I reamemer all the memories, you told me when you saw me the first time you said I was beautiful. You smile so bright, like I was an angle. Mom you and dad fought alot and I was so young I didn't know what was going on. Mom now I know, now I see the pain and the tears you have cried. Mom I reamemer sitting there looking at my dad and saking him if he is coming back, and him smiling/loughing he looked at me said " I have to go to work" I remember him leaving and feeling scared, feeling like maybe that will be our goodbye. When I woke up he came up and I huged him, I huged him tight. I was so scared. A few years later you became sad, you weren't happy anymore. You would be sick and you though dad didn't care. Mom i'm sorry I never saw your pain. Mom i'm sorry that I could't be the girl you want me to be.

Mom, I was bullied, I was hurt, I was done with life, I was ready to give up. But mom I didn't, you know why because I knew I wasn't ready, I was not leaving the people who need me the most.

Mom, My farther might not text me or call me since I moved in with you across country, going from californa to a small town. I knew he wasn't happy. I couldn't sand hearing him cry because it made me feel worst about myself.

Mom, I love you and never forget that.

And mom I know, I know that we are happy now, we have no worries in the world, you want me to have everything.

But mom I have everything I could ever ask for.

Mom, I am happy were I am.

P.S Dear Mom, I love you, I will not give up, not now, not ever.

And that is a promise