It’s just. I got tired.  

Usually I would shrug it off;

but the feeling that I was getting played wouldn’t shake off.

Suddenly I couldn’t say ”it’s okay” after each let down.

I somehow, could no longer pardon the mistakes that were evidently becoming habits.

You know how it goes…

You leave, I stay. I hope. And wait

You come back; eventually…

Only to do it all over again; and of course I’m the loser in all of this.

It just made no sense to me anymore;

To be holding on when it seemed so easy for you to go.

Made no sense for me to fight for a love you give up on very readily at the face of every stormy argument.

And I know you’re thinking we can make it alright again but truth is-  it never was.

Nothing charming about broken promises.

Nothing romantic about the break up, make up dance.

It’s all just; so disappointing.

I know you’re sorry my love.

Oooh I can tell you’re very sorry; I just can’t seem to care.

I don’t see why I should.

You didn’t care that with each hurt the light in my eyes grew dimmer.

You didn’t notice that each time, the faith I had in you grew fainter.

Please forgive me for coming across so harsh.

It’s just I don’t need another “I really don’t know what I was thinking’’.

No. What I need; is change.

‘Cause the jokes you’d to crack to get me laughing after you’d just made me cry; stopped being funny.

The ‘’take me back’’ pancakes stopped being sweet and cute.

So do allow me to be the one who says sorry this time.

Sorry for letting you down on this round.

But somehow for the life of me, I can’t seem to find it in my heart to do the dance again!

I guess I really am, just tired

Are you tired? Are you worn out that you can’t even look up anymore? So weary that you can’t even say a word to Heaven anymore? Are your shoulders aching, is your neck stiff? Is your heart breaking when you see your plans fall apart? Well tell me; have you considered MY plans for you?

And when you try to sleep, do you spend hours tossing and turning, dreading the morning that is to come? Do you lay in bed wishing in the dark? My darling, have you considered praying?

At the crack of dawn in your mind you say it’s just another day. Another day to bring about the life you’ve come to loathe. You’re so worried about all that is going wrong that you forget My promises to you. Do you dare to trust my word? Open it, read it. That is how you will know me.

Come now, open the curtains. Let the sun rays fill your room. Watch darkness dissipate and know that is how it works when you let me into your life. Yes, breathe in the crisp air and hear the birds sing. Now tell me, do you remember what I said about the sparrows and the fields? Matt 6:26. Tell me what I said concerning burdens? Matt 11:28-30. Indeed I will relieve you, only if you leave them with Me.

And when you cry, have hope like David that I put your tears in a bottle.  Psalm 56:8. No hurt happens to you that goes unnoticed. Cry to ME! Not your mother, your friends and make Me the last option…cry to Me. I’m the one who made you, the one who knows you. In the secret, you’ve told me things you swore you’d take to the grave untold. I saw your scars and though you were not weeping, I saw your tears. None of them fell to the ground! Hear me, even then I was around. I will always be around, come to Me, speak to Me….allow Me to do what I will with you and I will clothe you with strength, endurance, perseverance. I will cover you with my blood.

Before you give up, know this, I died for you too. When I was tempted to give up on mount Gethsemane (Matt 26:39), I saw YOU also and persisted so you could be set free from darkness and come into My courts dancing. Before you give up, remember I died so you could live. Lazarus come out of the grave you’ve built for yourself and LIVE!

-Jesus