With every intake of smoke,
My lungs are turning black,
So there goes ten minutes of my life,
That i'll never get back.

And the alcohol your drinking,
Isn't giving you a buzz,
But you just want to stop thinking,
Because you can't be in love.

They're settled and they're happy,
Do not start a war!
You're ruining your own life,
Do not ruin any more!

These feelings are unrequited,
You know that far too well,
You're becoming so shortsighted,
Burning in your own hell.

And your beautiful lungs,
Are now diseased and broken,
So you crumble under their gaze,
As those soft words are spoken.

You knew you couldn't handle it,
So why did you start?
Because as soon as that cigarette touched your lips,
Your world fell apart.

Maybe I'm just tired?
I'll take a nap and be ok,
But I just can't forget the words,
You didn't even hesitate to say.

So as I lay here on my sofa sulking,
There's a war playing on in my mind,
Because on all of your words I'm choking,
As you think they're how I'm defined.

She stomps, She cries,
She throws things.
She curses and pulls your hair.

She's dying, She's lying,
She's loosing,
She's broken beyond repair.

She wails, She screams,
She torments you.
On your ankles a ball and chain.

She frustrates, She enrages,
She degrades you.
Like she's the only one with a brain.

She contorts, She distraughts,
She impairs you.
In this vile and twisted plot.

You resent, You dislike,
You don't need her.
She's everything that you're not.

You're selfless, You're graceful,
You're lovely,
You're more valuable than you think.

So next time there's another hole in her lifeboat,
Perhaps you should let her sink.

You don't dig up the dead.
That's just one of lives main rules.

So why are you crowding round my heart?,
Looking for old feelings to use.

I approach you with extreme caution,
Never knowing which way you'll turn.
Sometimes soothing and sweet like honey,
Others harsh and corroding, Acidic burn.

Mocking words you said in scorn,
I catch myself embarrassed again.
Both sides of you split and torn,
Are you my foe or my friend?

At arms length I'll keep my distance,
You can't manipulate me from far away,
Quick, You'll notice within an instance,
Ask me, 'What game I'd like to play'.

I approach you with extreme caution,
A memory here you yelled at me,
Standing back I assess the situation,
Then off I sprint like an animal free.

I wanted to get a wasp tattooed onto my arm,
But you didn't like the idea.
The wasp is meant to represent my internal battle,
of your acceptance, my desperation, but mostly the fear.

The fear that you wouldn't like what I was doing,
Because Mother is God in the eyes of a child.
Yet, ironically, you raised me to think for myself,
Bohemian and wild.

The tattoo is supposed to remind me,
that sometimes when you feel life is falling apart,
it's just life falling into place,
like when your disapproval smashes against my heart.

I feel I can't tell you things,
Because you'll get upset.
And everytime words spill out my mouth,
My heart fills with regret.

It would be simple and easy,
If you weren't so full of grief,
And you rant everything out,
But I'm not allowed to speak.

You say you're feeling ******,
And that's understandable,
But you might aswell be in a *****,
Because you haven't grown up at all.

To comprehend the idea of freedom,
Thrown around me in retort,
Goes along the path of reason,
The very thing that I was taught.

Unbeknownst to me this beginning,
Built up of loss and flames,
Brings me courage to carry on winning,
Lifes ever changing games.

I bring you chance of please and pardon,
A route not yet walked by,
Snakes slither round you in this garden,
But you do not flinch or cry.

From broken bones and desperate illusions,
To a place to rest and drink,
We open our minds to other conclusions,
The worlds bigger than we think.

I'm slowly cascading down a spiraling staircase,
you can all hear my body hit step after step.

I think a few bones are broken,
but nevermind just carry on.

I finally reach the ground,
body ****** and bruised,
just like my heart was,
when you left me used.

Why are you so angry?
I've never understood,
This heart of sweet intentions,
Left bruised and of no good.

The songs we sing do not please you,
Because you do not seem to care.
Everything is over-commercialized,
As you run a strained hand through your hair.

You can't stir your negative words into my tea like sugar,
'Cause the sugar will not taste sweet.
And the water you boil will be chalky
Leaving me with a bitter aftertaste.

Which means your opinion biscuits will be soggy,
Dropping off into the poison.

The poison you tell me is "Tea."

Thunder and lightning is ever so frightening,
And there's a humid stence in the air,
So you toss and turn as your insides burn,
Because you told him you didn't care

Stumbling down the pavement,
Expressionless face.
Berate the hearts you know,
Mouth of sour taste.

They seem to condone your behaviour,
These people with smiling faces.
For they think that you're their saviour,
Yet you cannot tie your laces.

Holding hands in a single file,
Conforming to the norms,
And when someone breaks that cycle,
The earth reacts with a storm.

When the sun rises bright and warm,

Raindrops finally drying,

I hope you know you're the reason,

Why my futures smiling.

The wind was cold and harsh against our skin,
But we didn't mind.
As we were saved and cleansed from sin,
Your glory and love was refined.

A mountain weight you took off your shoulders,
With just the brush of your hand,
And you trampled our demons with heavy boulders,
When they saw how tall you stand.

The sun was hot against my back,
As you encouraged me to carry on,
So when I helped my friends up you shielded me from attack,
Whilst singing a happy song.

And then you bought me flowers,
So everything was fine,
I thought about you for hours,
Couldn't get you off my mind.

Imagine we were lovers,
Just me and you,
Would we snuggle under covers,
Like most sweethearts do?

I cannot blame my Father,
For the vile things his heart did.

To hate is so simple,
What's difficult is to forgive.

I feel empty,
Mumbling my own name in warning.

You have abused your heart too many times,
Now it's timid and doesn't want to play games anymore.

You trusted those you knew you couldn't,
And told yourself you were fine.

But now your heart is so torn apart,
It can't even be stitched back together.

So you sit on the bus home,
Dead in the eyes,
As another passing stranger takes a worried glance.

We danced in my kitchen one winter evening,
Moving in strange timings which didn’t quite go with the song,
But I remember that wide grin on your face glowing,
As you spun round and round.

The hot tea we had made was going cold,
But we didn’t care,
Because we just snuggled under blankets,
And our love was all the warmth we needed.

You snarled with sharp teeth,
And your wounds were bleeding through.
So you drowned yourself in alcohol,
Because that's all you knew.

But now the times are different,
And you want to start again,
So you try to make up for it,
With the ink from your pen.

Tell it was a lie,
The way your lips shut,
On the fourth of July.

The way your skin went cold,
And your laughter ceased,
Then my heartbeat and anxiety seemed to increase.

The way the weekend before,
We went to that shop,
And how I desperately wanted to see you before your heart stopped.

Tell me it's a lie,
Where I am now,
Because I've walked on cliff edges,
Hoping to jump,
Then hoped to drown when the waves get rough.

Something is forming deep within you,
Your genes and blood involved,
Creation immanent upon contact,
A warning bared and foretold.

Sculpted in your image given,
A foreign voice and brand new start,
Painting not yet pondered on,
Worming it's way into your heart.

Sudden action caught in premise,
A mark forever sore,
Tiptoe round this crater softly,
Emergence abruptly tore.

Scattered thought leaves you in longing,
A handful of grief stains your skin,
Need to repent left unresolved,
Precaution stretched thin.

Ambivalence wrecks your perception,
Constant here and there,
To focus on 'What if' and 'Could've been',
Dwelling hardly seems fair.

Something was taken from deep within you,
Your genes and blood involved,
Creation destroyed upon contact,
A fortune left untold.

Want to play a game?
You know that one where,
The first person to break a heart wins.

The one where our anxiety is so bad,
We think that if we stay in bed all day,
That'll wash our problems away.

The one where the crippling pressure that still lingers from school,
Is killing you in college,
And you don't know how to tell anyone.

Want to play a game?
You know that one where,
We place a gun to our heads,
Count to three... then press the trigger.

There, There we go, yes there.
The girl with the pretty dress and flowers in her hair.
There, There we go, Yes there,
The student bored sitting in a chair.
There, There we go, Yes there,
The love that came out of nowhere.
There, There we go, Yes there,
The boy with the heart beyond repair.
There, There we go, Yes there,
The girl without a crippling care.

We've tried talking,
But words just leave things messy.

We've tried ignoring,
But then we get lonely and stressy.

I broke down in secret,
Cried The Nile out to try and staunch the famine.

But only when my heart was ripped out,
Did you finally get a chance to examine,

The wounds that you caused.

It's the bizarre way you notice everything,
Like a spy you observe but you do not speak.
Someones insulted and someones complimented,
Still you do nothing except think.

It's the way you do not care for words,
Like too many are said in one day,
As if staying silent forever,
Will mute the hurtful things they say.

You hold your own reading your book,
Thinking you're rebellion is great,
And whilst you eat your lunch,
They knock your sandwich out your hands commenting about your weight.

But you just roll your eyes and carry on,
These idiots haven't got long left,
Within a year they'll be gone,
And then life will put them to the test.

You're a good for nothing thief.
A pathogenic liar having a good day,
Your filthy hands taking all I have away,
You smile at me with happiness,
Big grin thumbs up.
You were the only person I ever thought I could trust.

Six brutal stabbings,
All to the chest.
One, two and three caused a lot of suffering,
But I can't feel the rest.

My fingertips are tingling,
My throat parched and sore.
Corresponding with the stab wounds,
A pile of blood lies on the floor.

My skin is bruised and tortured,
My mind it aches with questions.
I would've put on an armour chest,
If I had known your intentions.

The way your fingers so easily intertwined with mine,
I thought that you loved me?
I thought we were fine!?
But then on your lies you choked.

Do not take those you love for granted,
Because one day they will be gone,
Like my Mother's old and tired violin,
They'll be far too rusty to play songs.

Give them chances and understanding,
Hold them when they cry,
Forgive them when they make you angry,
Don't waste your time explaining why.

Give them encouragment when they feel uncertain,
Help them up when they fall down,
If doubts come flooding in keep them afloat with your person,
Making sure they do not drown.

Do not take those you love for granted,
Because one day they will be gone,
And just like my mother's old and tired violin,
You will be damaged but you'll just have to carry on.

She's got healing hands,
and a brain full of wisdom.
She will not conform to society's system.
Bohemian is her middle name,
and just like a fire she cannot be tamed.

A lioness she is when protecting her young,
and bullet wounds through your chest,
when they shoot from her tongue.

A Warrior is known.
who is kind and strong,
as she teaches us to do right,
and forgives us for our wrongs.

She sings hyms,
as bright as the sun,
and I am so very happy,
That she is my Mum.

I can hear the thunder,
And I swear it's true,
That out of the whole entire nation,
I'll always choose you.

The clocks ticking away seconds of my life,
So what do I do with this knife in my hand?
I don’t know whether this was planned,
Is my life contained in a can?

My liver is screaming for me to stop,
My skin is rough and of no good.
Everything here is misunderstood.

You have to learn!
That’s just the way it is!
Well, I'm sorry if I offend you,
But I couldn't give a **** anymore.

We shared a room at the hotel,
And people heard us giggling,
Mainly because the walls were thin.

We were deliriously tired,
So everything was funny,
Like the way we both smiled,
Just before turning the lights off.

Only to turn them back on again,
Laughing along with insanity.

Congratulations!
You're now a part of the grey.
Here's your certificate to state;
That you'll slowly decay.

Everything will seem fine,
But as soon as you get home,
You'll lock yourself away,
And destroy your phone.

Your hands will go numb,
Your voice will become weak.
You will not speak to anyone,
In almost three weeks.

Solitude will eat you,
Gnaw at your bones.
People will assume you're fine,
But it's not their life to suppose.

I just feel numb.
Which is strange for me,
Because usually I'm buzzing off caffeine,
By at least half past three.

It's like the world has come to a stop.
No longer revolving round,
And everyone's just given up.
Abandoned this tiny town.

Of course you're right.
Why wouldn't you be?
You've always been the smart one,
Out of us three.

It's a shame about the arrogance,
You'd be better without it.
It's not your fault,
The bad traits come from Dads side.

But lately you're making me panic.
It's always been about your pride,
And any time I question it,
You scream, Shout then start to cry,
And I just cant handle it.

You're damaged beyond belief.
I know that's not nice to say,
But I feel as if you use me,
To bully and lead astray.

I'll put up with it for now,
But one day I'll finally snap,
And then I will find my way out,
Of your demented and cruel trap.

Don't try to play tricks on love,
Love knows all the tricks of the trade,
The trading of people's hearts.
Love begins with the emotions,
Then the physical reactions start.
Love takes the lungs,
The smile upon your lips,
The tremor in your hand.

Love reaches the eyes,
It can cause people to despise.
People do fatal things,
In the name of love.

We danced around the room,
In nothing but our socks,
Receiting weird poetry,
Whilst listening to prog Rock.

Some people are missing out,
When they don't have a friendship as bizarre as ours,
Cause when we lie on the floor staring at the ceiling,
We the see the night sky and the stars.

I don't understand,
How can I be eating a full meal,
And someone in another country be starving?
How can half this planet be obese?
And the other half strive to survive on a few grains of rice?
Where's the humanity?
Where's the sanity?
I want to go and help,
But  I am just too  young,
So when I am older and I'm bolder,
I am going to help.
I am going to strive with them,
Survive with them,
And maybe... Just maybe,
The world would be a fairer place.

No one gets it.
No one understands,
That even though I yelled at you,
I just wanted to hold your hand.

The chief of vessels,
Here he lingers still,
gormless and ruthless,
guilty and ill.

The matriarch will protect you,
courageous and fair.
Swords may dive around and above too,
But she will not flinch, She will not care.

This omen is an old friend,
One we have learnt to disguise ourselves from,
Bonded by blood they may be,
But their blood is cursed and wrong.

A jester jumps entertaining us,
Distract yourself from historys doing,
Whilst the matriarch guards the doorway,
The chief is left to ruin.

It's three in the morning,
And I'm sat up in bed.
My head constantly repeating,
All the things you said.

I never thought,
That it would be you.
The one to judge and scrutinize,
Everything I do.

I never tell you things,
Because secrets you cannot keep,
And if you were an ocean,
I'd be drowning deep.

Who is "You?"
Who could "You" be?
Could "You" be a loved one?
Could "You" be me?

What is the purpose of "You?"
Are they intertwined and underlined in everything "You" do?
I mean obviously it's down to chance,
Coincidence and circumstance,
But what does "You" mean?

They arrive pristine only to please themselves.
Is "You" in good health?
I haven't said,
But now "You" is in your head,
Just like they were in mine before.

There upon a rocky shore,
Stood strong sailors ten or more.
Some had smeared their hair with tar,
All sorts of people from near and far.

A sirens call there could be heard,
But not one person uttered a word.
"Don't dwell on it" they'd all think,
Like trying to ignore a boat about to sink.

Oh, but no man can resist the call,
And those who say they can are no more than fools.
Entrancing music carries you beyond this realm,
No matter how tight you hold onto the helm.

As the last sailor leaves blissfully unaware,
Only the shipwreck and trees can tell us what was there.
Upon a sandy shore seeming so fine,
The sirens call as rich as wine.

Her smiles are bitter sweet,
Because she's not just anyone you'd meet.
Her knowledge of this is so refined,
That you wouldn't dare waste her time.

She's got places to go and people to see,
So why would she stay with you aimlessly?
Whilst she's living the dream you're stuck at home,
Listening to the ramble of a hypocrite down the phone.

Remember two peoples life's are different things,
So don't cling to them like hook and loop fastening,
Live your life explore the world!
Because it's much better than waiting for her to return.

I waited for you,
Your picture in a silver lockett,
That I wear heavy against my chest.

I bought you flowers on Christmas eve,
And the rain that poored ceased,
Then the sun came out to play.

I wrote you a poem,
One that you could not read,
But I swear I felt your gaze.

Then as I cracked a joke,
Smilling at your headstone,
I saw your famous grin,
As you asked,
"Why are you waiting? I've been with you the whole time."