I'm the girl that you ignored for all those years
I sat in the back row
Watching my resentment grow

You made fun of my depression tears
You were centre stage
While I was afraid

The girl grew up to be a woman
You never grew up at all

You finally learnt that we are both human
Reality turned out to be your downfall

I'm the girl that you ignored for all those years
I played the fool
While you were Little Miss Cool

Times have changed and now I am OK
You fell off your stage
Into a pitiful state

I get lost in the crowd
The invisibility covers my identity

My voice gets lost in the noise
They can't hear my words and God it hurts

I get lost in the crowd
Their negativity downs out my identity

My voice gets lost in the noise
So I shout so loud I drown them out

we damage our feet
squeezing into stilettos
we pluck our eyebrows
we polish our toes
we **** in our stomachs
afraid of what the scales will show
we scrub ourselves with a thousand lotions
spray ourselves with perfumes
it's as if we need to be sanitised
from the dirtiness that we learnt from the womb
from all the messages that we've consumed
messages insidiously obscuring the truth

it was a dog eat dog world
so i became a cat
i'm clever like that

broken was the perfect description of my heart
on the day that you died
it hurt so much
i forgot to cry

all attention was focused on you
in death
just as much as in life

nobody saw my face at the service
i bowed my head
i said a goodbye prayer

broken was the perfect description of my heart
on the day that you died
it hurt so much
i forgot to cry

Death came quickly
Taking a life that went by so slow
I was buried right near my late grandmother
In a cemetery where roses grow

I crossed over to The After World
There was much that I had left to understand
A woman wearing glasses with jet black hair
Showed me the nature of forgiveness and acceptance
She was my guide in this strange land

I had taken my life so abruptly
Now I stood in the awareness of this
In The After World I learnt the true meaning of life
I learnt that it was always a gift

When I had finally understood love
When I loved myself unconditionally
My guide opened a door to a garden
Where everyone was waiting for me

a poem is a collection of creative scribbles
i suppose that i
am a poem