I’m no longer alone now,
In my dreams.
Now there’s a dark shadow
And it’s watching me.

All.
The.
Time.

I don’t have a moment’s peace,
As it follows me,
Judges me,
Mocks me.

It’s faceless
And monstrous.
A void of broken trust
And hypocrisy.

There is no safety,
No sanctity,
And as things stand
No way out.

I wake haunted
And scan the darkness of my room
Am I really safe,
Alone,
No.
I feel eyes on me.

The shadow is there
I can’t escape the voice in my head
“They are always watching you"
And I’ll never be free.

It’s a dangerous thing
Giving power to the faceless
But I have none left to give
Because it was taken
Secretly,  silently,
And I can’t get that back.

I am betrayed.
Afraid
And lost.

If you are so intent to follow,
And watch me,
Then I’ll lead you to the darkness
And you can see it consume me.

Because of you.

I’m helpless
I’m lost
I can’t help but wonder if my grief is passionless,
I’m drowning, drowning in heartbreak, for what cost is this pain
Help me, save me
Sinking is the ocean of sadness
Can’t you see
I’m helpless, I’m breathless
In the light of your rejection
I lose my sanity
My affection
Has lead me astray, humanity
Must want me to fail,
They must not appreciate
My efforts, and only to have a nail
Pierce my heart, this must be my fate
Forever lost
For what cost…

I fear that I shall die without ever being truly known.
As the autumn nears I pull more into myself
Carrying my bleeding beating heart in my open palm blood dripping between my fingers and down my wrist
Droplets disappearing into the earth
Desperately holding myself in
Feeling my fingernails claw at my insides
My soul begging to be let out
To be free.
This is the harvest of what I have sown
This is the ultimate Autumn
The forever alone

The Little King,
Who ruled here for thirteen years,
Now reigns in the undiscovered country.
Restrictions keep him in the freezer,
Where he's
Lying in steak.

When she first met him,
He was so slim;
A gentleman,
To begin.
When she first met him.

When he first met her,
She was so demure;
She'd defer,
Often concur.
When he first met her.

She'd smile on him.
He'd open doors.
She cooked and worked.
He worked and cooked.

Good morning, my Dear.
Good night, my Love.
I got groceries.
Did you get milk?
I called your Mother.
Is your Father okay?
Teacher interviews at five.
I'll drive.
Did you get to the bank?
I made an appointment.
What's the address?
Your sister's on her way.

This was their dialogue
On that day.

She's kind.
He's a find.
He's hers.
She's his.

Ever the twain shall meet.

like the moon
I go through

phases

some of my
lights go out

and I become
dull and distant

give me time
they will come

back on

like the moon
I do not ask

for praise or
forgiveness

it is just a
phase

I am going through