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Tabitha Lee Jan 2022
Because of my anatomy
Because of my age
Because of my identity
You have no excuse.

Yes, i know...female parts.
Yes,i know my looks
Yes,i know my brain is in a different place
You dont have any right to do this.

Spare me your apologies.
Spare me your words
Spare me those what ifs, only ifs
You have crossed an unforgivable bridge
Recently i was exploited and blackmailed...its getting handled..
"She's long ago forgotten me."
"I hope she finds me in lonely rain."

We were in love with someone we can't keep or save.
We were in fight with that reality, we called it love and hate.
We were in suffer for this tragedy we called romance.
We were in trapped the way it called game, but nobody knows how ready they are.
The tragedy we called romance, the way the heart's broken, the adrenaline when we were in love.

"It's too late to grow a beautiful flower with the same sun in the wild street", said the man who was sitting on the park bench eating his own ****.
Indonesia, 9th December 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
Tabitha Lee Dec 2021
Truth be told...this is a hard day
Running on empty
No gas

Truth be told...love hurts always too
Empty holes in chest
Nothing left

Truth be told...im always smiling
Maybe edging numbness
Maybe its real

Truth be told...It still haunts me
The screams ring free
The photos show truth

Truth be told...I am not ok
And truth be told...thats ok...
Tabitha Lee Dec 2021
'In a better world I would be there
I could wipe away all of your tears
I could help you in your wars
Hold you longer
Laugh with harder

But this isn't that world...
I can write what is needed
But what's needed doesn't always come true
Truth be told...the world is cruel

Truth be told...that cruelty made me
Made me have that feeling
To protect and care for all the lonely
To bring under my wing all the abandoned
To be a pseudomother for the orphaned

In a better world...
I wouldn't have to fight to keep the light
I would be able to experience joy without feeling lost
There would be no warcry in me
It was its cruelty that gave me humility

The coldness and cruelty...
Shaped me to be a fighter
Formed me to be strong
Made me live differently

So I might wish for a better world...
But the current world made me a better person
Broken and wounded, I am a wreck
I am the shadows of dust
the sands of lost worlds
The pauses in rhythms constant
the gaps in words spoken

I believe in change
I see evolution with a revolution
only just with trust invested and not confusion
Poetry is my refuge when facing mind pollution

I slow the chaos and feel constriction
I Spiral in a twirling wave, repitition my addiction
I am mopping the dirt of my own flaws
I am a slave to this dictation

I believe in breaking free, like a tender worn leaf
I whisper to nature and speak to trees
The sweetness conveyed sends me bees
I fly to the ocean skies and wish a cloud bright were mine
I break a hundred times, this then of success a thousand times - a sign

I am a wreck looking to work
I believe in chance and romance
I remember honour before fear and cowardice
some believe in Jesus
some believe in Science, calculations and estimations
some believe in Satan, accepting that he is a victim in this whole situation

some believe that you shouldn't believe, but that is a belief outside of the common belief logical complex
I am a wreck searching for repair
a broken lover looking for a heart none can compare
I swallow the smoke wild in the air
I am a beast of Samson's hair...
The star running on ground when cheerleaders cheer
I am a wreck looking to share, a breath of vitality with those who may dare.
Tabitha Lee Dec 2021
The way love is
is hope in disguise
but it can be absolutely destructive
Tabitha Lee Dec 2021
I have gone through hell and back
Dwelled there time to time
Also, rose above and saw the light
And crash back down to the flaming depths

I know when to fight and when not to
Fight hard to win
When to just walk-off
Or get help to do either one

I know that love wins
That it overcomes all
But only when it is true and just
And I don't know how that feels...truly

I know that you care
That you care a lot
You say its way more than I care for you
But you don't know how deeply I feel

With the depth of the sea
We feel intensely and deeply
Deeper than that sea I think
At least for me, it is

So I scream louder and louder...
So someone can hear me...
so someone can understand me...
But I think someone heard my echo

They are handsome and brave to be friends with me
They understand...
The intensity and deepness
The cries and shakes
They understand the struggles that come with me
They accept that I ebb and flow emotionally like a tide
They accept it...
That this is me...
Hey guys I made a new friend who is really is a light in my life. I do...really really like them but I won't ask them out because, in the end, it could hurt them. Im glad to meet them...
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