There will be gloomy days when
you will look back at your old self
and think about this one choice you made that
changed your life in many ways
You will think about the day you decided to leave
You left family and friends behind
hoping to find a better future on the other side
You were young and naïve
you were that quiet kid that
no one thought could ever leave
yet, on that September 6th 2013
holding hands with Fear and Hope
you boarded a plane that took you miles away

There will be gloomy days when
you will wonder why
on that day Fear didn’t pull you aside
and tell you that life
wasn’t going to be as bright on the other side
You will wonder why that quiet kid
had this strong need to leave
You will look back in sadness
and grieve the loss of those happy times you took for granted
You will be drinking the same coffee
mum used to make you on a Saturday morning
and you will be listening to those songs
dad used to play in the car on a Sunday afternoon
You will grieve what it feels like a loss
of those you have always loved

It’s on these days that you will feel alone the most

Inside your head it will be as dark as the sky
on a rainy winter afternoon
and your eyes will be as heavy as grey clouds
ready to let the rain pour down

It’s on these days that you will grieve the most

Though, they say there is always calm after a storm
and no matter how brief it can be
you will eventually find some peace
and it’s within this peace that
you will find the strength to remember that
not everything is as gloomy as it seems
It’s within this peace that
you will honour that quiet kid
who is no longer as quiet as they used to be
and it’s within this peace that
you will celebrate their new life as a fearless kid

I am the human. You are 12 God's with one mind. Do I need be the one that followed paths. I see all of them but am not scitzophrenic is that bad?
Worse is a curse opened by God himself that endures me such pain. Does he like being the sinner. It's painful I too feel it but I may ask one final payment.. a gift. If you all give me your power I will end what you have lived wise already knowing.
You want to go home.. and I've lived forever .... And I think that's why it's now showing.

Why do they test me ?
Call me names ?
They know i used to **** my thumb and bully everyone,
But now I'm going to church and reading symphonys for fun..
Why am I still picked on.. can't I change my name... What else can I do to cut this reflection off my face..
It's hard to face ..
Who I now, can I ever be better or look better then my heart... How do I give love without them running away once they see my face fits a path of war..

The light cast me away,
Where I found solice in the dark,
Speaking to mother I try my hardest to reemain brighest as I start.
Learning both sides that fight like it's not right to be one,
But Dark and light give me shape in a sun.
Something to see and believe it to be
Not yet my child time is of God's grant upon how youve been seen,
Moon hints are all around me,
I'm in the devil's son's house and they found me,
But I'm still the best,
One and the only,
I protect the son because devils don't want to know me,
Angels and lighters follow oh so closely,
I'm preparing for what's come but yet to be exposed to me,
A block they all see yet I'm just .... I'm just...

Interesting reads today,
Although so transparent I feel it's better to be looked through,
then looked at so one sided.

It's a annoying to repeat and only obtain others resistance. I'm finding happiness yet they are against it. Selfish acts are always appearing and plans in secret I always pretend I'm not hearing. Irratable and violent I can't no longer be.  But they keep trying to justify the way I believe. Why can't I be happy from saving everyone I know. What am I the bomb but everyone says don't blow.