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Ayn Dec 2020
Emerald eyes;
Ones sharp enough
To cleave the soul itself
And pierce a hopeful heart.

Built to be selfless,
Yet made to self destruct.
Internal compassion
Was never meant to be
For this sorrowful existence.
Ayn May 2020
Swirling drops of screeching chalk
Memories left untouched.
Life unwound,
And a life better left in the ground.
Too many emotions to write, so I’m taking a break for a while.
Ayn Nov 2020
Scattered across countless blades,
Sliding over the glinting steel.
All I can see is my touch and feel,
But what lies between these
I cannot take as real.
Ayn Sep 2020
Needles working into my throat,
As alarm bells ring through my ears.

A softly falling drop of liquid air
Dispersed into the vacuum of space.

If no place exists for me to breathe,
Then I’ll choke on the music.
I’ll end the show before the final dance,
And let the curtains close,
Bringing closure to my contract with life.
Ayn Jun 2021
A frozen visage,
Steeled through an eternal cowardice.
Stripped of glimmer and glory,
Your meek egotistical values
Lie in pieces; devoid of glory.

Words spoken a the edge of a cliff,
Fabricating the final push.
The spiral lies below,
So just take the final blow.
The term spiral refers to the golden ratio. That bit was inspired by the song Lateralus from Tool. “swing on the spiral…”
Ayn Sep 2020
Striking the light
With a force to bail the seas;
A mentality built to burn,
with the season’s cyclic turn.

A hammer on ice,
Frigid metal burning snow.
Snapping of tension,
The southern winds blow.
By southern winds, i mean winds going north from the south. I live in the northern hemisphere, so that means warm wind.
Ayn Nov 2020
As the endless expanse
Stretches itself before my eyes,
Flickering lights create depth.

All that lies between
Is the iridescence of our sunset,
And the fragrance of our universe.
Ayn Nov 2020
Spread your wings,
Shine your light.

Live, sink, rise, fly.
Touch, feel, sing, cry.

Remember your freedom,
Remember your imperfections.
We will all rise
In our own individuality.
Inspired by my own lessons learned a bit late, and a song called “Screen Shot” by Swans (i think that was the band’s name).
Ayn Jul 2020
As a paper gets torn
Fragments are created
Only to be lost from sight

And from mind.

As ink brands a paper, art,
A tear brands a paper,
As nothing more than a lost fragment
Ayn Mar 2021
As the gloomish clouds
Silently weep,
The world darkens
And we fall towards sleep.
Ayn Dec 2020
Floating fish,
Swimming amongst an ocean
Of turquoise atmosphere.

Clouds waver like shifting curtains;
Tossed slightly in the gentle breeze.
While the whales swim through them,
Their bodies but needles to cotton.

Filtered light lies upon the streets,
Shifting like the winded tree’s shade.
A relaxed, soft, Sunday light,
As dull as worn out blades.

Glinting light on the whales’ backs,
Shining brighter than a million eyes.
Inside this world of shimmering light,
Every existence flamboyantly flies.
Ayn Nov 2020
Standing on the cracks,
I flip to the last open page.
Emotions dragging my into chains...
The air around me still feels like a cage.
Living in a camouflage
Of the things within my rage.
Ayn Dec 2020
Weaving through the static noise,
Black and White fills the void.
Inside my mind, I put away the toys;
For all is not yet destroyed.

The sun’s main flame
Appears to glow tame,
But life’s never that docile.
Peace will always take awhile.
“YOUR GOD IS DEAD
AND NO ONE CARES
IF THERE IS A HELL,
I’LL SEE YOU THERE!”
From the song ‘Heresy’ by Nine-Inch-Nails.
If a past friend reads this description they’ll hate me ****
Ayn Dec 2020
The white blanket recedes
Revealing a jade carpet.
Snow comes,
And snow goes.

It’s a youthful romance
Of heaven and earth.
Ayn Dec 2020
The gentle surf slides onto shore,
It’s indefinite curve lightly tumbling.
A scene like a feathery leaf,
Drifting towards the autumn ground.

A deafening calm,
Where nature effortlessly prevails.
Pervading the unsure landing,
And giving it strength once more.
Within the boundaries of earth
Lies a boundless expanse of life.
Ayn Jun 2020
Now is the time
When those
Who normally seem
Sensible,
Become the
Insensible.
I have my own feelings about the turmoil this country is in, but I’m afraid to express my opinion about it. I might not say why some things are morally wrong without angering people. I am only 16. I can’t vote, I can’t get my license, I can’t do much. All I can do is be aware. I refuse to participate in this. Not because I don’t know who’s side to pick, but because I will not generate more hate and turmoil in this society.
Ayn Dec 2020
Saving others...
For their sake or mine?
It’s all a platter
For my ego to dine.

It’s a criminal system
Deserving destruction,
So I’ll destroy it.
If it’s for my own sake then I’m another corrupt being, like everyone. I don’t believe that I’d be so nice, after all, I’m corrupt enough with my thoughts.
Ayn May 2020
As long as my heart keeps beating,
It will keep unrequitedly loving.
Ayn Jan 2021
Pushing,
Seeping,
Leaking.
It’s all tangled up inside.

Disintegration is temporary,
But the damage is eternal.
Ayn Feb 2021
Clear and transparent before me,
Lying calmly and silently.
The dawn rises behind the horizon,
The moon, once gone,
Now over the silver land.
Electrified emotions
Left to stimulate a dim moonlight.
Ayn Dec 2020
Gentle white outlines,
Glittering in the gaze.

A hanging breath
Coating the air
Like a newborn’s blanket.

A frosted world,
Sweet,
Sour,
And all that lies between.
However,
You can’t have your cake and eat it too... unless you bought it and you live alone... but even then there’s still bacteria
Ayn Nov 2020
Let time flow as it does
And embrace my icy hands.
We’ll continue this walk together,
Because even I am not immune
To the coldly lonesome weather.
Before anyone thinks it, I’ll say this: “it’s not towards you.” Why has it come to the point where I actually have to say this? Just me having fun with words.
Ayn Dec 2020
In soft light,
Veiled by the air itself
Sits turquoise waters,
Emitting an aged gray
Towards distant eyes.

A soundless world,
Save the bubbles of noise
Which harbor life as we know ir.

The water’s gentle gale
Pushing lopsided blades
Towards a clashing sea;
Tossing them around the current.
Ayn Dec 2020
A frosted mist lies, stagnant,
Over a glittering lonesome field.
Hanging like a martyr’s last breath
In a silent tribute to their death.
Ayn Oct 2020
When time unveils it’s trickery,
The moon will show it’s hidden face.
We are all under the countless stars,
All are in the worldly compass of greed.
Just a thought
Ayn Nov 2020
Feel the sting;
Feel the *****.
Within the bell’s ring,
And the clock’s tick,
Lies the burden.

Feel the sting,
Feeling time
Bearing down.
Ayn Jan 2021
Confusion whips up all around me;
A desert of the unexplained.
Words and phrases once meant to free
Now trap me in my pain.

A scarring biting nervous wind;
Shards of memories meant to maim.
Time is all I need to mend,
But my silence became a dying flame.
On the spot, just me writing without pause. I only used backspace for misspelt words. It’s a challenge more than anything.
Ayn Dec 2020
Within the cracking glass
A reflection takes hold.
Throughout this ringing tone;
inside the crowd I’m all alone.
The ticking words,
abhorrent outside my head.

My mind must watch it’s tread,
The striking mallet instilling fear
My jagged edges are begging to

...disappear...
Ayn Nov 2020
Assumptions.
Closing doors to negotiation.

Assumptions.
Fabricating half truths
On baseless knowledge.

Assumptions.
Hurting hearts and souls alike.
Ayn Dec 2020
Steady,
monotonous,
And visceral;
My heartbeat rages on.

A sleepless night ahead
With no rhyme nor reason
To back my nervous season.
Ugh this is gonna ****! Welp whatever. Might as well make use of it. Time to be the old me ****!
Ayn Dec 2020
“Not all things are made
To survive becoming past”
I thumb the cold blade,
Knowing this won’t last.

“Peace residing
Within the art of war”
Inside the cracks I’m hiding;
While my mind’s on tour.

“Within emotion
Lies our charred corruption.”
A mental explosion;
And a civil war’s eruption.
The parts I wrote in quotations get more specific while the other halves get less specific. I just noticed that.
Ayn Dec 2020
If I could start again,
I’d move a trillion miles away.

Drain the toxin from my veins,
Train myself day by day.

If I could start again,
I would keep myself
I would find a way.
Ayn Dec 2020
You fade to black,
Grab a new face,
And begin to dance
In gently collected moonlight.

Time drifts around the clock
And I’m still right here.
You gather even more faces
As you teleport far away.
Ayn Nov 2020
A step to a wade,
Shivering water
Will always shine.
Even if the day is done,
Even if you can’t run.
Ayn Dec 2020
As water comes to fire
A flash flood of steam ignites.
As forward memories
Reveal themselves once again,
I wonder what I thought back then.
I thought that when I was 17 I’d be drinking, driving (not at the same time) and smoking with buddies. Now I’m 17 and eating a candy bar in my kitchen while curled into a ball. It’s funny how what you want changes over time.
Ayn Mar 2021
A shimmering thunderclap
Shines across a million seas.
I stand landlocked,
Left to count the endless leaves.

The golem’s silent lament
Leaves the lightning to grieve.
The execution of silence
Set to be, without reprieve.
A golem is like a robot but made of dirt or stone, in this case it is representative of the earth. After all, the earth and sky form a precious duality in which we thrive.
Ayn Nov 2020
Chasing
A long-forgotten mist.
Running
On Lævateinn’s edge.

The final sprint
Just seconds away
Tedium envelopes my being,
While my flames fade to gray.
Ayn Nov 2020
Like dancing lights
And fluttering sprites;
Multiplying together
And dividing apart.

They rend the veil of night,
Creating a short-lived spectacle
Before these stars take flight.
I’m not actually talking about literal stars. This poem came to mind when I was driving to practice and saw the headlights of two opposing cars, seemingly merging together around the bend. I maybe wasn’t in the right state to drive ****...
Ayn Jan 2021
As the sunrise’s claymore
Is the blazing creator
Of our earthly existence,

The moonlight’s spear
Is the slice right through the vein,
Revealing what we try hide.
Ayn Feb 2021
Spiraling through the sharpened skies,
Slicing at the wind
With a blade sharper than air.
We say all’s fair,
But with a corrupt mind and body
Do I have any right to endorse it?

In a world of bladed air,
The act of falling
Hurts more than the impact.
This is the world we live in today. If you are cast out by society, the fall to rock bottom hurts mire than being at rock bottom.
Ayn Dec 2020
As darkness falls
The world becomes a shroud,
In which the smallest lights
Beckon forth
A sea of illumination.
Ayn Jun 2020
A citric eastern breeze
Beckons in frosted waves.
A mosaic of spectral sun
Drawn upon the fractured glass.
Surf exploding onto rocks
Like the trillions of stars
Now twinkling,
At twilight.
Ayn Jan 2021
Cleaving through the stilling silence,
Like an ocean’s crushing roar.
The dulling gray sky
Becomes a lightless void
With a scream of defiance,
Splitting the essence of noise.

Left with a silence so warm,
But it’s just the calm before the storm.
Ayn Mar 2022
Their words consume me,
Telling me silent lies.
But you can only see the light
Which I cast on your eyes.

When will you see right through me,
And save me from this madness?
I’m too far gone to save myself.
Ayn Dec 2019
cannot publicly acknowledge the existence of angels,
Such an outrageous act has been outlawed by the council.
So here I am to tell you about these nonexistent beings.
They come from a place called heaven, a serene place
Lying in the clouds that do not fade; they are everlasting.
In heaven they soar free, using their feathery wings,
Which glisten like scheelite in the eternally dawning sun.
Their halos are a gold, 10 carats more pure than the element,
And seemingly glow, even in the most minimal light.

And their souls, as pure as a diatomic gas,
As white as the everlasting magnesium flame.
But most importantly, their souls glow like the firey sun,
Always ready to make us happy, and eternal in existence.

But I once again forget, as a note is passed my way,
That “angels,” in fact, “do not actually exist”
Signed,
The council.
It also says to stop talking about these forms,
Or I will be detained... then executed...
Welp, that’s a sour note to leave on...
Bye.
If anyone has listened to the podcast Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll know where my inspiration for the denial of said winged creatures. If not, listen to it, it’s a funny sci-fi comedy podcast. Also again, look up any names that you don’t know, chemistry is pretty cool too.
Ayn Jan 2020
Above the ever changing trees
Lies the ever growing tower of stone.
A swift mountain breeze,
Causes the stout wood to groan.

Like a pebble
Being blown lightly
Across a desert storm,
I was unknowingly blown
Off of the towering stone.
There was more, but it changed the way what I had written appeared to me, so I cut it off.
Ayn Apr 2020
Running through the soft breeze
The wind resonates among the leaves.
A green shade encloses me.

I could never see this forest
Because you ditched me among the trees.
A mix of me denying being gay and just being lost in a stagnant world.
Ayn Apr 2020
As the dust and sand
Sweeps up into a cyclone,
The air cracks up
Like a dried out salt flat.

The clouds run dark,
And the crops bend down.
An invisible roar appears,
Rushing this dry landscape
And catching it unawares.

Branches and brambles fly,
But there’s no water here;
Not enough for the sky to cry.

The landscape sits,
A dusted vermillion;
Cracked any dry
With skin so reptilian.
Ayn Jan 2021
Through the open door;
Tapped open by the playful prairie breeze,
Comes a man.
This man has a story, as does everyone else.
However, for this striding figure,
Standing tall and slightly large,
There was neither need nor reason
To share a time long past.

His clothes were out of season,
And poorly fitting for the time of day.
A collared purple shirt,
Decorated with tropical floral
Wore him like a flirt.
Velvet pants, shimmering with each step,
Electrified his egotistical stride.
With wrinkles like a rocky outcrop,
And colors most abhorrent today,
The sluggish outfit was complete.

Jaunting up the the well-loved counter—
Tended to by well-hated men—
And slowing by a slight amount
For those unlucky enough to cross his path,
He rested an older, pudgy hand
On the exposed splinter board.
All it took was a small glance
From this month’s wretched clerk
To set this man in motion;
“A pack o’ Marlboros and a coke...
Make sure it’s cold.”

An inaudible sigh—
I doubt anyone else heard the forsaken utterance—
echoed silently from the clerk’s unmoving lips.
Full of despair, this uniformed creature stepped back,
Turning his mind towards the cigarettes,
One of the many things he longed
But could never have.

Opening the case, and picking a carton,
He placed the weathered box upon the stressed counter.
The worst of the bunch... that’s why this one is hated.
After a couple of seconds,
The world, as if once trapped in stasis,
Was shattered back into movement.

The offending hand, wrinkled and haired,
Belonged to the confident customer.
“And the coke?”
He questioned, the corrosion leaking from his words.
“Oh... sure.”
The clerk mumbled in reluctant submission.
The cowardly one dropped to a kneel,
Pulling the coke out of an old icebox—
It was probably his—
And placed it lightly on the counter,
Not daring to shake the time bomb.
After the amount was rung through,
And a grimy $6.76 was paid in full,
Two hands—well known by now—
Seized the chemicals like it was his right...
And it was, because he bought that death.

Strutting out of the store,
his slimy hands slipped into his packet,
Drawing out his heroic match,
Like Excalibur from the stone.
A simple strike along the rusted doorframe,
And a smoldering cigarette later,
We gazed as a lit match was thrown back;
It’s fall like a clock of death,
Slowly ticking towards the man,
Bearing down beyond the corners
Of those sharp yet simple eyes.
I watched this kind of scene unfold as I wrote it. It was fun to write. It sure as hell took a bit. And there are no edits, like usual. I wrote what I wanted, so yeah.
Ayn Mar 2020
What’s all the hubbub
Just a worse influenza
Overbuying food...
I by no means are an expert on this whole thing about covid-19, I know it is a problem, but people are overreacting. It is literally the flu, but worse, and stays latent in a person longer. It attacks older people and smokers, as well as people with compromised lungs. So just keep clean and don’t get too wild about it (I have been following covid-19 since mid January and saw it’s spread through china. I have a lot to say on the topic).
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