Sometimes it's ok: to cry until you've got no tears left

Sometimes it's ok: to lay still & watch the clouds roll by

Sometimes it's ok: to allow the music to take to another place

Sometimes it's ok: to remember it all

Sometimes it's ok: to listen with your heart

Sometimes it's ok: to say I'm sorry 1st

Sometimes it's ok: to be held by the one who's hurt you

Sometimes it's ok: to accept that which you cannot change

Walk away  and start again

It hurts and it's gonna

Nothing in life was meant to be easy

yet

I've always thought LOVE
wouldn't hurt
nor should it ever hurt

Guess that's what I get for thinking huh?

Sometimes it's ok: to let go

let go

give in
and
allow
the blissful waters
to cover you

wash you anew

Because

Sometimes it's ok: to give in and let everything fall apart

Sometimes it's ok: to cry until you've got no tears left

Sometimes it's ok: to lay still & watch the clouds roll by

Sometimes it's ok: to allow the music to take to another place
where there's nothing to mourn

Sometimes it's ok: to remember it all even if it hurts

Sometimes it's ok: to listen with your heart

Sometimes it's ok: to say I'm sorry 1st

Sometimes it's ok: to be held by the one who's hurt you

Sometimes it's ok: to accept that which you cannot change

You're not a super hero
no matter how many times
you come to anyone's aid
or disregarded your own needs

So it's ok to let your bi polar consume you

Let the voices  in your head take over

You'll not regret it

explode
scream & shout
for once
and
loose your composure

Violate the thoughts
you've held inside
let out everything  
you've longed to say

without
regret

without
remorse

IT'S OK

Specially
when you're already
lost all hope
and
everything's
out of control

You wont be
here any way

so it's OK
to speak your mind

release all your
pent up rage

come on

it's OK

SOMETIMES!!!

I don't know
anymore

I can't fathom
how come I feel
how I do

You've stilled
my heart

It doesn't even
beat the same
anymore

I'm tired
going in circle

You know
I'm already insane
I've been
lie to
mislead
deceived
disrespected
manipulated

I refuse to
take anymore

I refuse to allow
myself to
go through this
once again

Guess that's why
we're
living
a life of
pretend

Make
believe
everything's
OK

When all
along
I've felt
this
"You & Me"
is such
a huge
mistake

I knew it
along
time ago
and
I still stayed

Allowed those
who cared
about me
truly
to walk away

All for the sake
of being with
YOU

When for
you
it was all
games

Shame on
me
for
hurting
myself

I don't
know
how to go
from here

Without
causing more
pain
but go I will


I'll do IT
I have to

You
seem
like
you don't
understand
but
of course
you do

I've tried
too often
&
many times
to explain
plus
express all
this
to you

You allowed
pride & ego
to consume
you

You're
going to
do
what the
****
you
wanna
do

Problem
is
you
thought
I'd
play the
fool

Thought
I
needed
your
money
to survive

but
didn't
you
know

I've
been
here
plenty of times
been here way
too many times
long before
well before you

I'll say good-bye
to show me more
than showing you

I'll make it with out you

because you can
no longer live
a life of make believe
play house

Act as if everything's OK

you know what I mean

Um what's it call
oh right
*pretend

I've had a handful of relationships

Along with a few lovers too

Yet I'm not fulfilled
I crave the knowledge of passion desire gut wrecking ****** awaking

I can write stories that would set you on fire and have you begging for release

I can speak on countless times
I've allowed my body to explode in an ******* haze

So what?

Yup I've said it - SO WHAT?

I wanna know what it is to loose myself in our love making to be completely submissive to my body's cravings and allow myself to be caught up in the rapture of *******!

I have so many times allowed myself to have ***

You on top or I'm on top
We'll try some new postilions
yet all the while we're doing this; I'm thinking of what to cook or did I past my finals  and/or I'm fantasying about the way it could be

Silly me I'm no **** star yet I've watched a few and "acting" as they are - it seems like they have a clue on what it means to really let one's self go

I wanna know how to do the same

I want you to talked ***** to me (ONLY when We're doing this)
Call me out my name sometimes tell me whose it is

I want to be held down tightly as you ****** deep inside
I want my mind to be there too

I want my soul to scream out when I do
I want my body to convulse and shake -without feeling judge or laughed at

it happens  because I've heard storied
Even if it's yet to happen to me I fear it can happen.

I want to  be free to explore my wild side and truly let go of all inhibitions

I wanna be devoured by you
whom ever you may be
since
I'm on my own currently
and
I have no plans to seek out a relationship

YET

I still would like to try to have a lover -
that's something I've yet to do
We always ended up in a long term relationship
or
I end up married to him

Maybe having a lover isn't for me
but the other stuff  
most definitely is all for me

I wanna be lust after and desired so much so that he's almost stalker-like for me
but
he'd be wanted
unlike the current stalker out here
bothering me

I wanna know what its like to be truly concurred
*******
stripped down and have him make me feel
so alive in and out of the bed room

I wanna know what it's like to ride his face or be turned upside down to be as I've heard it called grudge ****** until we loose all time and space
where our souls collide and we forget every single thing!

Maybe a simply relationship
that has all the benefits of lover's and we'd also be the best of friends

Guess it'll balance out some how
I want my fantasy to be my reality
Eat me lick me kiss me hard bend me flip me

put me up against the wall
**** me fast and make me cry lust  after me hurt me

but don't stop
I want hours on end
until we're spent and tired
yet
we'd take breaks
but keep it going

I know how to have *** and ***
even ****** or even at times fake it
for right now though
I just
Wanna Know!*
(is what I'm asking for too much or not realistic?)