Again
I  
almost  
let  love's call be answered.

Almost
allowed it back to hurt me once more,
as if my previous pain never left scares.

Almost 
 allowed those feeling to consume me.

You know the one's
that have you
wishing you could be in those arms.

Almost  
let you persuade me back to love's
lustrous hold

as
your lips intoxicated my senses,

the haziness
feeling me up
with a
giddy sort of
"love" struck 
 poison

I've never felt
&
now
long for again....

See 
I 
almost
allowed you to
take control right there!

Almost 
 forgot how much
it'd hurt to fall for you,

even
though you've made
it so easy to do,
you've become so easy to talk to  & listen to,

so acceptable to me,
we've shared and developed a unique
bound
no other will ever share...

I'd speak those
toxic words
which
almost  
always changes
the essence
&
aliments within
that
beautiful friendship.


I  
almost  
let  love's call be answered.

Almost
allowed it back
to
hurt me once more,
as
if my
previous pain never left
scares.


Almost 
 forgot how much it'd hurt to fall...

They've said
we take or accept
the love we think we deserve,

so
I guess
I've never wanted much,

and if  
lies
wold tell
then
It'd say;

I'd accept more
of the same
in abundance,
instead of running away
as only I can.

We
almost
had a world-wind romance

those
types you've might of
seen in a movie,
this endings a bit different,

because
there's not going to be
a happy ever-after  to this
ending.

I can't risk it.

No not again....

I'd be bad for you,

I'm unable to give to your

demands,  which is everything

I'd mandatory ask for

if I were indeed asking,
so remember me.

Remember

what we could of had

well 
 ALMOST !

Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
         K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present

There's a song called

"Blame it on me"

&

The lyric's make sense to me,

where she singing

"Sometimes you can work it out"
"Sometimes you can't"
"Sometimes you're forced to watch"
"everything fall apart -- it's out of your"

because you

"I bet the neighbors know my name"

for many different reasons
because of the

"Way you screamin scratchin yellin,"

while we're
arguing&fighting; like its war war 3
claiming your
tired, sad & lonely & sick of me,

Well baby

"If you think you're lonely now, huh-  Wait until tonight"

And baby  I want you to'

"Keep on moving"
"Don't stop like the hands of time"
"Click clock, find your own way to stay"
"The time will come one day"

for you to realize
I was here for you
no matter what
but now
I gotta do things on my own ,
my way and for myself plus these kids &

"Besides the kids I have nothing to show"
"Wasted my years a fool of a wife"
"I shoulda have left your *** long time ago"
"Well I'm not gon cry,"

not no more & not this time

because now all

The lyric's makes sense to me,

like when I heard & agreed

"If I were a boy"
"I think I could understand"
"How it feels to love a girl"

"I swear I’d be a better man."
"I’d listen to her"
"'Cause I know how it hurts"

The ending state

"Your just a boy"
& I'd have to agree,
cause' you'll know never this pain
you've caused

The magnitude of your actions
causing the opposite with in me,

The havoc & suffering's
not just about me

These children
which I'll scream-out
to my dying day
saying loudly
Proudly GOD

"Thanks for my Child"

something you still failed to know about,

How many times will-your girls miss their
"Butterfly Kisses"
and how many times will they
look in the mirror
& notice

"In their father's eyes"

They see the reflection's
of themselves looking back

Knowing
"daddy's little girl"
is living without him
due to his selfishness & lack of care

see

The lyric's make sense to me

I live them on a daily..

My new dude complaining & so insecure
I caused this, this is my fault

I
gotta worry more now
about the scares on this
broken taped up heart

Gotta make sure

I ain't making him
pay for all your abuse & mistakes
when we fight me&hi;;

I just shut down
too hurt to understand
his feelings

The lyric's make sense to me

cause' when I'm with him
my heart seizures up & my mind races
to what" if "
he does the same things
you've done to me,

What "if" he hurts me & because of it,

"Because of You"
"I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt"
"Because of you"
"I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me"
"Because of you"
"I am afraid"

to move forward.

To give this new dude a chance,
to make a change even thou I've left,
I'm so scared
scarred
hurt
buried
sick and worried.

I even feel guilty for allowing someone new in.

Like I'm cheating
yet you & me aren't even anything
not even friends.

The lyric's make sense to me

  since its like

I walk around in a haze & every day

"Since you've been gone-- I can breathe for the first time"

yet I, in the same breathe feel  you should explain &
"
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air"

"If I should die before I wake"
"It's 'cause you took my breath away"

"Losing you is like living in a world with no air"

Oh but wait worst
part for me is
its me lying to myself cause'

I'm being suffocated
when I think of him leaving,
it's like
I'm dead inside already
when I see him walking out,

but I
can't help myself
I push him away
far more then allowing him in!
allowing him to stay...

See this is why,
these are the reason I sit and sip
thinking or at times
trying so **** hard not  to think

You may not get it but
if You'd just listen
You'd see

How  

by listening as I do

You'd finally see
& truly understand why & what ways

THE LYRIC'S MAKE SENSE TO ME!

Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
         K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present

I can't do this
continuing
this
charade
as if
we'll go further

than we've been.
I don't have it in me

to play
these heart wrecking
games

Say what you want & say what you must

but
when it comes time

You'll
Thank me.

You'll

see*

I did you a favor
walking out
as
I've done

I've given you

freedom

instead of
moments spent

*cursing
the days you've ever
met me

or

complaining in anguish

for

the rest of your life


You'll thank me
I'm sure
of it

I'm just not

right for you

I'll ruin the fabrics & fibers
in which you so live by

I'll

demolish

the peace that

tranquilizes

your inner mind
&
thoughts;

You'll have nightmare

I swear

&

they'll be all of me

I can't do this

Don't put faith or trust in me

Some day

I promise

without me

You shall be happy

without

my miserable
company

You don't need

someone

* like
me

I'm mean & nasty

down right raunchy

I'm overly
argumentative & so very overbearing

I don't like washing dishes & dislike listening

I wont compromise or consider your feeling

not to heart.


I'll **** up yo world &  rip it all apart.


I can't do this

none of it is going to work

I have no faith & no trust

I can't help you

*because

I don't wish to

I don't like

feeling these weird things
like
when you

look at me
or touch me just right

I feel as if my flesh's on fire

my inside do flips

my mouth waters up
&
my heart beats faster

I get goosebumps & all tongued tied

I feel things that

SCARE

the hell outta me

I have no empathy
least I doubt I do

I've been told
what it is
but
doubt I can feel it

I think & feel

completely
different than you

Enclosed in this darkness

comforts me

You'll never understand

This bleak soothing

presents of loneliness

it's for me

The emptiness

is far better

than

anything good
you'd possible bring

These shattered

glass-like pieces

of my broken heart
helps me


Never to forget

I'm

no good

*NOT

for you

&

One day

Someday
real soon

You'll Thank Me

**Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
    K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present ©

You don't know me,

how could you

when
I've not
allowed

you in

You don't know me

how could you

with walls so
high

You'd be
fool

to try climbing

there built
for reasons
unbeknownst
to you

it's even a mystery to me.


I've built & built for so long
never stopping

proddled along for so many years

propelled

in a direction

I don't know

nor do I wish to stop

for if I'd stopped

You'd conquer me.


You don't know me

how could you

when I've not allowed you in

You don't know me

how could you

with walls so high

You'd be fool

to try climbing  over.


I have no
desires
to be
pained

by love's

sharp tongue

fists
um-trusting
lust
or
by love's

outward snubbing words
OF how
it can do
better

I don't need
love's
pity

or it's
sorrow-filled rejections.


Love's
my down fall

by it's
lies
of
A
happily ever after

which

I've never seen  or ever glimpsed.


So
NO

no thank you
to the many fools

who'd try to climb
these walls I've built.

For I have

NO

wish

of ever being

conquered!

       Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
   K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present ©

Welcome to our world angels were we shall torment you with our dark games we play
Lets have some fun because the night is young you shall be come a beautiful demonic beast and no longer be delusional angels
Whose sheltered by their parents who say stay away from those weird kids well my innocent ones lets play and see how long you can stay before you become like the rest of us evil things
Enjoy the dark because we enjoy your company with us tonight
we will slit your throats and fill your head with the lies that those so called gods hid from you
Step in to the darkness and find the you that you couldn't see until we helped you angels become a demoniacal beast
Ugh you all are just like the rest of those holy mortals who beg and pleed for what they want
If you join us we will gladly help you take what you want but what ever floates your boats
Us demons await for the day we will have a new members to our demonic family
Until then we shall sit back and watch you thrash the throats of the other angels and then you'll all see where you belong
Good now you all see the dark games we play and one day you will be delighted to partake in them
When you do join in or game your wings will slowly decay and rot
When you fly you will leave a trail of death behind the so everyone knows who you have chosen
and how you have chosen to be another scary monster
Your half way there angels falling deeply in to our trap but dont worry we are here to catch you and set you free from the world that you call reality
oh
Angels how naive can you bee one day you will see we're here for thee no matter the choice
You make weather to be apart of our dark arts or to be apart of the light that shines
So bright it blinds you from whats plainly in sight of you well don't worry after our trick you'll grow to either love us or need us demons just let us be free to trick thee