I hold onto a green bottle
Warm it with my life blood
my hands get numb in the exchange
And my pale blues go white
Underneath a neon lamp..
Suddenly
Noise is quiet outside me
silence into my bones seeps
They seem to dance behind a veil
As though they were blind
And I one eyed
Drink doesn't drown
My gilled lungs
Vengeful adaptation...
Read words written..
Do you like
My name upon your tongue,
Upon your fingertips..

Thoughts creep up on me
Like thieves they whisper
Did it hurt you to break me?
Was it no before reasons were known?
How much time did I get
When you played it out in your mind?
Walking miles in stray shoes
Bitten tongues and humour
I'm the one
Behind the veil.

Darkness grows old
Within these aching bones
And all I've touched
Has turned to dust
Words don't turn on lights
Like stones they sink
It's a stifling work of empty
And I write more of these
To skip and sink
To tell to the walls
And hear them upon my tongue
For therein lies a truth
Of which I must not speak
Hands that make
Are not hands that hold

I've been a cynic
Since time stopped ticking

Thumbs describe paths and words are spoken
Say over, trace back, to where it forked
Like a devil's tongue in an angel's mouth
Go left, go right, take no path into that good night
Make no apologies for planned mistakes
For as roosters crow and bells toll
I swear no allegiance to who I was
Breathing slow and talking soft
Hope comes not swiftly but deliberately
As you say to me, I say to you...
And hold promised time like flowing water
But it beats a great pair of wings
And words not said become lost..

I was hoping that today
Wouldn't be our end

Hands on waist
Thrown over shoulders
One stumbles backward
The other forward
Walk unsteady
We talk all heady
Lost in you
A hundred times over
I'd choose you

I was hoping today
Wouldn't be our end..

My tears have silence and warmth
Whispering pain steeped in stealth
Craving chances that fell apart
I stumble on a heavy heart
Thoughts curl into fists
Banging on walls that are bone
Hearts are savage beasts
That can't be left well enough alone
Hanging on with sunken teeth,
I bleed a dead pain..
The guns are loaded
Neurons fire you into my brain
Images fall into realist hands
And gravity does the rest..

To know you is to feel you...
I am hollowed out
In the space you never seem to fit..
In the aftermath of doors shut
Silence and warmth flow in stealth
Images fired travel slow and heavy
Leaving stains..

I never understood why
When people let go
They let go completely.
But holding on
Is like cupping your hands
Trying to catch the light,
You only create
a darkness inside
And wind up
holding shadows instead..

Never felt like second place
Or third or fourth..
I was a non place,
Existing outside
The circles we draw..
I feel more like a concept
Than a real person..
It all seems
Like an elaborate
Multiple choice..
I'm a series of letters
Chosen with good intentions..

How do you leave
If you do not know the way back?
I painted scars
Where skin never broke..