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A Nov 2016
I don't know how to, to be honest.
I love you,
And I don't know if you love me back.

This is the best way I can get it out.
Just jotting down and throwing the words in a text box that you'll never read.

I know you won't.
You hate poetry.
You also don't like oranges,
and despise ballet flats.

I notice tiny things about you.
Just little useless things.
Little things that make you a little bit cuter.

The way that you light up when we're dancing in your living room
The speakers turned all the way up,
And you look at me and that makes me happy.
Anytime you smile it lets me know you're happy.
Even if that means I'm out of the picture.
A Nov 2016
I've fallen in love
With those beautiful blue eyes
Flecked with spots of amber and gold.

I've fallen in love
With the way you wave to me
Every time I walk by you in the mornings.

I love you,
Even though you may never know,
With how deep your conversations can be.

You're soothing voice,
That everyone loves
And calms them down in tough times.

Your mysterious secrets I have yet to discover.

You, the wonderful crashing sea,
Making the world blue, but beautiful
And happy.
A Nov 2016
I wasn't really sure how I felt this morning.
I woke up with a start.

The whole day was mostly just music and silence.
I sat and listened to music from different schools, after performing my own.
But other than that, not an hour passed without that
That
That
thing.

I thought it wasn't real.
It was all some dream,
I didn't know what I felt.
Anger? Anxiety?
Oh yeah.

I'm just in shock
It's a weird feeling.
I've never had this before.
Or at least not that I can remember.

Why am I so nervous for something I didn't have a say in the first place?
I guess it's because next time I will.
I will be there.
And I will be responsible for changing what debris is left from this.
I guess that's why.
A Oct 2016
My apprehension follows me wherever I go
And points out all of the possibilities of everything
To a point
Where it hurts.

As much as I entertain the fact that these possibilities are mutable,
But then apprehension whispers in my ear
sneering and squeaking like nails against a chalkboard
"How about a 10:1"

That provoking sentence elicits a tsunami of voices
Well-what-ifs and  I-know-buts mostly.
The possibilities seem to grow larger and larger as more evidence is provided that in the next moment of my existence any of these thousands of things can happen! Or better yet, they all happen at once!

The power outages from this flood leave me in a panic
I start to stagger my breathing and sometimes forget to breathe at all.
The rain pours down around my eyes and the thunder rolls around my mouth.
I no longer have control over this storm that's heading south.

And then the storm cools off,
breathing naturally comes again
And I calm down from an attack of rain
And voices in my head.

Apprehension needs a break, but they never gets disheartened
So they tag along on my back and grasps tightly onto my chest and lungs
It's going to be a long walk if I carry this thing around.
Again my apprehension is near,
But this time it's words
"10:1"

"There are 10 chances it could go to Hell, and one chance it won't so make your choice."
Those screeching words
Have made me deaf,
I can no longer hear,
The world around me.
Just that screeching voice
10:1
10:1
A+ to whoever figured out what it was about
Updated Nov 8
  Oct 2016 A
Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
A Oct 2016
I'm a bonfire
Lighting up the world
With a burning flame.

No one knows how much damage I cause
Until I'm confronted with a match
And then I'm unstoppable.
A Aug 2016
The rain pitter pattering on my window.
The strings underneath my fingers, making that beautiful pastel sound,
from my ukulele.
This is what it's like to feel alive.

The warmth of the house,
The coziness of my clothes.
This is what it's like to feel alive.

Times can be tough,
Being alive can hurt,
But that pain that I feel,
Is one of the things that make me human.

Hot tea,
The effects it can have,
Make me feel like I will never
Need to feel the pain I have felt.

A sip,
Letting the tea sit on you're tongue,
The so wonderful burning sensation,
Until it's cooled,
And is gone.

This is the beauty of being **alive
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