Love until you're scared to love any more
because any more would mean
loving him more than you will ever love yourself

I did everything
Except to utter 'I love you'

You did nothing but
Said you love me

Who's in love and who isn't
Just isn't for me to say

I'll let our hearts decide that

Do you know how to love he asked?
I don’t know the mechanics of it
But I do know how to fall
and to never be able to pick myself up
Ever again
She said.

-Aiswarya-

He showed me heaven- again

And then said honey,

It’s time I drag you to hell-again.

-Aiswarya-

After our casual goodbye kiss,
‘I will love you till death do us apart’- he said

It took me eleven phone calls and the entire night to realise,
It came too soon

you were my sunlight
when you dusked
so did I

You were the torch during my darkest nights.

You showed the brightest paths,
but also scalded me with all that- fiery heat.

You were my- deadly saviour.

I said I love you,
I also said I was scared,
I parcelled my emotions and presented you my vulnerability,
But in the end,
You only showed me what a bloodsucking ghost you could be.

Two hands,
Two hands-of yours,
One to slap and one to grab.

Two hands,
Two hands-of yours,
One that worked during the day,
And another that only worked hard-very hard at night.

Two hands,
Two hands- of mine,
Both tied-day and night.

Four hands of ours,
Two ruled,
And two slaved.

Falling for you wasn't the scariest
But knowing I wouldn't be able to fall into another man's arms - so perfectly,
just like I sunk in yours - did

You were a drug,
My drug,
Not only because,
You were addicting,
And harmful,
But because,
You led to a lot of-  side effects.

Incurable ones.

Just thinking of you makes me tear
But a single  glance of you makes me sink

You told me you'd wait
Forever,
It took me forever to realise
You didn't know what they meant

I’m here,
Right here waiting,
For you to realize I’m the one,
But looks like you’re taking a bit too long,
Never knew her spell was so strong,
At least stronger than mine.

Looks like her spell has more than one victim,
It's such as shame I had to be one of them.

She made me weak,
She made me forget everything my mind and soul used to dwell in,
You,
Love,
God,
And the list goes on.

Now I believe in her,
I believe in her love,
I believe that she, will never let you be mine again.

I bring myself closer and closer until I can smell his breath and breathe his smell

I thought she was an abuser,
then i realized,
the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

I love you**
and if that's not poetic enough
then, I don't know what is

Do I or do I not love you?

There's never a day where I don't lay in my backyard starring at those shiny diamonds that give me little hope in the darkest nights,
Wondering- do I or do I not love you.

Words try and form in my mind but they aren’t complete enough to escape my mouth,
So I pick a pen.

I couldn’t do more than doodles I vaguely remember scribbling back in high school.

I yearned to write about you,
I wanted to know the answer,
I wanted to describe every part and every aspect of you to validate my love- for you,
But,
It was to no avail.

Tears rolled down my dolor eyes,
It wet my scribbled paper,
While the lead of my pencil blackened it,
Just exactly how my heart felt then.

Just when I couldn’t recognize my paper nor myself anymore,
I felt goose bumps- from the start of my neck to the tip of my toes,
I felt a thunderstrike that I couldn’t even clench.

I felt so warm on the inside yet so cold on the outside,
I felt so free on the inside yet so restrained on the outside,
I felt so lost on the inside yet- felt love on the outside,
I-felt you.

I like how you wrapped your rough fingers around the strands of my hair and tuck them, so softly behind my ear,
I like how you extended your flexed arms and secured my body so tight from the back,
I like how you grabbed my hands so firm, making sure the wet pencil doesn’t slip off our hands.

Mostly,
I loved how you wrote our love story holding- my hands.

I try and convince myself,
No- you’re not there,
You’re not in my heart,
Because I want to believe you’ve never managed to get there, in the first place.

Then I see that slit,
That slit- on my wrist, that reminded me of the time I tried to cut you out of my mind,
But I couldn’t
So I tried and cut my soul away from its home instead.

That was when I realised,
That this life,
Isn’t really worth living without you.

**I love you

I walk pass,
And he stares,
Who?
No-not you,
The bartender it is,
Unfortunately.

He smiles,
I blush,
At least- I try too,
Like every other girl would,
But I realised I couldn't,
Because I'm not like every other girl,
I'm your girl,
The broken girl.

I know I could never earn you back,
I know I could never make you pick my shattered pieces,
The pieces you broke,
So I hoped he would,
But he couldn't either,
Why?
Because he-wasn't you.

And the story repeats,
With my doctor,
My boss,
My driver,
And that's,
My after-love story.

**I still love you

I am a woman

I am always admired for my beauty,
But never for my intelligence,
I am always applauded for my expertise in house chores,
But never for my expertise in a professional career,
I am always expected to raise my kids,
But never to raise my voice.

I am a woman

I deserve to be a wrestler,
I deserve to be a lead actor,
I deserve to be a racer,
I deserve to be a DJ,
I deserve to be a pilot,
I- deserve to be the woman I, want to be.

I am a woman

I am just like your father,
I am just like your brother,
I am just like your uncle,
I am just like-that male stranger.

I am a woman