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144 · Feb 2019
Layna
Ammar Feb 2019
it's not her kiss
neither her hugs
nor her voice
i only
yearn immensely
for those
hazel eyes
to gaze at me
one last time
with a plethora
of endearment
Sigh.
142 · Sep 2018
Help
Ammar Sep 2018
Expressions,
Words of a broken soul,
Uttered in a trivial manner,
Yet it is not a trivial matter,
Pleading that the echoes of a destroyed mind,
Reaches the hearts of those that are kind.
That time will come :)
141 · Feb 2019
Conversion
Ammar Feb 2019
Riddled with fear,
I was
Bounded by pain,
I was
Trifled by the people I called family,
I was
Left in the pit of despair,
I was

Fear, despair, hopelessness
Plagued my mind
Like a blight in a crop field.

Now they just **** me off
And I seek retribution.
Something I feel now. I still have fears, but instead of cowering, my fears just ****** me off, and I shut it down.
135 · Jan 2019
Pills
Ammar Jan 2019
You know you need help
When sobriety gets you more ****** up
than the molly.
133 · May 2019
Remember
Ammar May 2019
how we used to
sit by the pool
with eyes locked
and souls intertwined

how we used to
chase sunsets
talk through twilight
rave till dawn

I wonder
if you still do.
'Ello
128 · Sep 2018
Fuck
Ammar Sep 2018
Reminiscing,
Those times when pain was just a boogeyman,
A tale of a child's story,
And happiness was the true reality,
But now, pain is as real as the sky,
And happiness is nothing but an empty promise.

Letting go,
of the times when I felt like a ghost,
trying to stay alive with this hole,
doing my best not to play foul,
doing my best to do things right,
wishing that some form of release can be found.

Understanding,
all these people with stupid choices,
how could they have made proper choices,
when they weren't told of the choices they had?
How could they have known there are diamonds,
when no one taught them how to dig?
****
Ammar Sep 2020
like a hut in the storm
won't stop the downpour
though keeps you warm
126 · Jan 2019
Pathetic
Ammar Jan 2019
I loved.
You lied.
123 · Jan 2019
Intoxicating
Ammar Jan 2019
Going through all these pain
trying my best to change
Yet the best I could do is complain
hence, I'm better off laced.
122 · Sep 2018
Illusion
Ammar Sep 2018
Dark clouds approaches the horizon,
An omen it is not; but a sweet release it is,
When the blinding light begins to burn the skin to the point that it results in agonising pain,
Even the darkness could bring about catharsis.
#Emptiness
121 · Feb 2019
Recounts
Ammar Feb 2019
Memories of when I felt alive,
Dispersed with the sands of time.
114 · Sep 2018
Ordeal
Ammar Sep 2018
The cold touch of fear brushes on the skin,
Hopes and dreams wither away;
dethroned by pain,
The agonising reality of a debacled future;
a downfall, a fiasco,
And so sunk the ship, drowning the spirit of hope.
#Burnitall
112 · Sep 2018
Depleted.
Ammar Sep 2018
Some days I just want to put a bullet in my head,
Some days I just want to hang 5ft above ground,
Some days I just want to travel at - 9.8m/s^2,
And everyday, I just want the pain to end.
108 · Sep 2018
Gone
Ammar Sep 2018
Reapers knocking down the door,
The death warrant has been signed,
The noose, tightened and secured,
Yet, fear is absent, but happiness lingers in the air.

Finally, the sweet release is within grasp,
The only thing left was to fall.
This is for those who sought peace from suicide.

There's still hope.
105 · Jan 2019
A pyrrhic victory
Ammar Jan 2019
Wars were observed from the eyes of generals,
Yet, never the eyes of the "defended"

— The End —