When will my soul be at peace with me
When there’s a void inside as deep as the sea

Tired of transient pleasures and memory
A longing for something not temporary

An aching for happiness that does not seem to tire
How can a soul be free when its enslaved by its desires?

A reflect upon my journey of life
Still...
I dont understand a thing
Still
It doesn't make any sense
Still
Searching for who I am... really

I focus on my reflection
On the journeys I took
On the roads not taken
On my behaviors and actions
Over the years...... of my life
I should bow in shame...
The shameless me still standing
between my countless sins
and few good deeds
Should bury my face in the ground instead

Lets run away for a second I thought
Reality *****...
I am nothing but a sinful soul...
but...There's this voice
keep banging in my head
from nowhere it comes
so close to my ears
there is this magnetic pull
pulling me closer
closer to reality...
I am running running
but I am still here...
In this circle of life

I ask my self every single day
Hoping for a clue or two
Voices in my head is clear
Telling me what to do
Sometimes I agree sometimes I dont
My brain says yes
my heart says a different thing
Incongruence, incoherence...
chaos my heart and mind
why? why? I keep on asking.....
Why am I so uncertain
Why am I still doubting?

Keep on searching high and low
Every second and Every minutes
And endless search for identity
If I cant really know the real me
How possible is it for me...
To even  know or meet my creator
In eternity...

I sit here drowning in thoughts of us
Helplessly screaming for your attention
Only to realize you were never there
And so i stop and relax
And float, then swim back to shore

If we keep fighting
Just to taste
Dissonance
We cant keep doing
This.

We wake up, smile,
And wonder what lies
To spread around
Today.

They taught us to
Start fires, burn things,
Destroy
Everything we can
Before
someone else did.

Fight
Me to make yourself
Look so big and
Syrong.

Rise up against all
The crazy, falling
World
Just to feel
alive.

As long as you
Promise
That you are the one
To choose your
Actions going
Against
The grain of society.

No longer will I
Allow
You to blame
Me.

I crawl unnoticed
into your bed,
having done so many times before.
I know you.

Familiar is always inviting.
The warm sheets, welcoming pillows
bound reflexively around you.
I am that inch of the bed
you never knew.

Darkness and discomfort rapidly infect
the free-spirited bliss that befriends you daily

Toss left.
Toss right.

Your brain in my hands,
a black slab of clay

Open your eyes,
all that seemed so clear, now
clouded like a stone dropped
into still shallow water.

I decide to unchain you,
for you may manage your physical existence, but

I am the puppeteer of your alternate reality.

I am broken and I never will be whole again. You took most of my pieces with you the day you left.
I keep hoping, senselessly, that if you were to see me just once you'd be reminded of how beautiful we were together.
But I was already broken before you found me and nobody wants a puzzle with missing pieces.
Never again will I be whole, but I keep hoping I broke you too.

You're scared to put yourself
Out there now
You don't open up to anyone anymore
You don't let alot of people in like you used to
You've changed
You're more guarded
Your mindset is different now
You're not the same person you were before,
Just because of one person