"Kay you're so cute!"
Just another lie you've told
"Kay you're so awesome"
I know you don't mean it, I'm a complete *****...
"Kay you're **** as hell. You need to stop bashing yourself"
I don't bash myself, I tell myself the truth so I am not lifted by lies. Why would I tell myself something I don't believe to be absolutely true?
"Kay, you are so talented. You could become a professional artist"
I never wanted to be good at art, but its my only escape. I truly hate it with a burning passion.
"Kay, I love you. I mean it too."
Save it, you cheated on me when my best friend died. How could you even claim that when we both know you are lying?
"Kay, you are worth something."
I wish I was. But in my eyes I am not worth anything, I have nothing to offer, nothing to give, I cannot compete with others who are more deserving than I. I have sins that haunt me worse than most people, and I wish I could be of use, but all I can do is teach someone about pain. Pain, loss and other dreadful feelings because that's what I comprehend.
"Kay, I'm sorry."
Don't be. I'm used to it. Eventually I will find the key to being happy, even in the worst circumstances.
"Hi Kay, how are you?"
"I'm bubbly."
*Fake it to make it another day and never let them see inside you

My heart, it dances to this music in which is provided by a music box
Peaceful as it is, in my brain it causes locks
Locks on my emotions in which one cannot undo.
Losing all my senses, all because I felt blinded by you.
You claim to love me, but wrap me in this one big lie
That you will never let me go unless one of us has died
And in that case you try to kiss me, cigarettes on your breath.
Every time our lips touch, it is like kissing death.
So here I stay beneath your arm for if I try to pull away
You grab at my waist and force me to stay.
I have grown used to this treatment, and found a way to cope.
A music box with me to play a peaceful song, to make my thoughts envelope
Me like a blanket that provides me protection, locking up my thoughts
And I go back to this music box every time we have fought.
I cannot stand you, but somehow I still do.
And anytime I say something you pretend you have no clue.
So Cantarella rock me to sleep one more time.
And help me wash away his sins and help me forget this man's crime.

Without pain there is no happiness or feeling at all.

Silver is the backup in case gold fails to shine.

I watched a friend pass away due to her own sin
She knew where she was to be placed and she knew where she shouldn't have been
But her want for more drove her mad, causing her to go insane
And under that fence she went, breaking away from her chain
Into the cage she went, killing all the children inside
Once she gorged herself full of their flesh, I knew there was nowhere to hide.
I rushed in to save the day, all but just a moment too late
And not only did these poor babies die, but her attack sealed her own fate
I had chased her out, on my knees did I stay.
Blinded by my own tears in which I couldn't wipe away.
What had I done? How could this be?
How did she slip away from me?
Why did she feast upon their heads?
What could draw a creature to make sure babies were dead?
So as I pondered with tears in my eyes.
A shriek split the air and to no surprise.
I got to my feet and rushed to her form.
Which now seemed panicked and quite deformed.
Convulsing on the floor, choking to death
Trying to draw in somewhat of breath
The bones of those babies stuck in her throat.
As I picked up her fragile frame and caressed her back.
Crying harder as she suffered this attack.
For I could not remove it, that bone was too deep.
And her throat welled with blood that began to seep
Into my hands staining them red
It was about another hour before she was dead.
And here is the truth behind gluttony.
Overindulgence eventually gets the best of any
Who are brave enough to feast like a god.

My heart will not be denied
Soul, body, and mind
I will not be confined
I'll reach for the sky
This, I will live by

Even after I die
I will be immortal
My words have no goodbyes

**-Joseph B Schneider

You only get
one
line...

I think...

I've
squandered
mine...

is there a rehab
for self-hatred?
because i don't
fall into drugs.
i fall back into
hating myself.