With ***** in my veins
And you in my heart
Swear I've loved you from the start

I wanted to love you
But my walls were too high
And so you turned around
And walked away

I wish I had the courage to say
"Stay"
I wish I had the courage to say
"I love you"

And above all I wanted
The guts to kiss you on the lips,
Whisper and say,
"I love you, please stay."

You wish your heart would stop beating
So loudly.
And that your mind would stop racing
So fast.
But he's in your thoughts again
Along with a whirlwind of memories.
And here comes that feeling you thought you'd forgotten.

The past few days all I can think is:
Words are
Harsh,
Cruel,
And bitter.

They can shake the world
And tear someone apart

But as humans,
we sometimes forget
words can also be beautiful,
And loving,
And kind.

Exactly like people.

I've had the affection
of so many
and yet,
I only want you.

Made me realize
I deserve more
Than pretty words

I wanted you to stay.
Oh so badly.
I wanted to call after you,
and tell you to come back
and everything would be okay.
I wanted you to stay-
Just for another day-
and maybe you would love me
the way that I loved you.

“Why are you lonely?”
You asked me one day.
And I simply replied,

“My heart feels heavy...
It's as if someone dumped all
of their thoughts and worries
onto me,
just before leaving.

It feels so heavy.
I just can't shake the feeling.
It scares me.”

And you simply told me-
while rolling up your sleeve-
“I know the feeling.”

Your lips searched for mine
desperately
Your heart was tearing and
breaking
And hoping that this wasn't the
end.

I saw your soul shake
and your body tremor,
as your whole entire being
was revealed.
-
Not everyone is as beautiful
as we try to paint ourselves to be,
and hopefully become,
through a seamless transition
-
You had forgotten that your mind
and thoughts
and words
were also stunning.

Once a boy with rosy cheeks
and a perfect smile with a missing tooth.
Summer nights and endless anythings-
Disappeared over night,
over years,
and over time.
-
You never were one for clever words,
or proper goodbyes.

Our whole lives we look for this feeling;
of completion,
of satisfaction,
of love,
and most of all
something besides the feeling
we all know too well.

Why do we love so desperately?
Why do we crave one's attentions?
What causes us to commit our whole hearts to someone?
What causes us to desire pouring all effort into one heart?
-
Is it from the books we read,
that distract us from reality?
Or perhaps the pictures and stories,
of people who got lucky.
-
But somewhere along the lines,
people got used to-
no-
loved the idea.
Craved the idea.

It's not right of me
to want things to stay the same as they always were
It's hard to accept the fact that everyone changes
But you changing your absolutely perfect self
Hardly seems right.