I'm sorry that I made you feel like I didn't want you.. in truth I want you more than I've ever wanted anything… it's just..  I can't allow myself to get hurt again.

Do I talk too much?
I'm sorry... You're the first person to ever listen...

I can't close my eyes I can't go to sleep
if I go to sleep that's when tonight ends
If tonight ends I won't know what to do
I don't want to feel the memory of tonight  seeping through my fingers out of my touch out of my grasp
I don't want to feel the loneliness I felt before tonight again..
I don't want to lose stupid jokes and the laughs and the pavement cuts that I got tonight…
I don't want to lose you…
so I can't close my eyes I can't go to sleep let's just stay awake forever and continually relive this fever dream

Is there a guide to help people not fall in love?
is there a book I can read aloud to all my friends to ease the pain that I bring?
I wish I wasn't me…
I have something that only others can see
"A light in your eyes"
"A blessed smile"
"Angel's skin"
"A beauty disguised"
This stuff that they say just doesn't align the image of me I have in my mind
Is this a sign?
why do I have to be the one that they lust for when the one that I lust for isn't mine?
It isn't fair..
All they want is me yet all I want now is to be alone… by myself…
Why…
Is there a guide? A book? A spell?...
I just need to know how to help people not fall in love with me.. as though I see it I'm a disease.
As through my eyes what I see as a poison you get attached to.
I corrupt your thoughts until it's nothing but me and death …
But they wouldn't see that… to them.. I'm bliss..