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Look at her,
she is free and she is still,

Watch her exuberance light the room…
Watch her!

Catch her,
while she is free, and while she is still…

Catch this wild flower,
and destroy her

Watch how this gives you pleasure,
ripping her soul apart as you break into her innocence…

Watch how this gives you serene relaxation,
as you watch the blood trickle the fine inches of her porcelain skin…

Look at her,
she is blank, lifeless almost,
her small, struggling breaths, pathetic to you.

Watch her,
what’s left at least…

She’s in chains.

by V.I.V. , 2015
What’s not bad is the memories. The memories are what keep me together. Keep me sane. Keep me from breaking down.
I remember your annoying singing.
Your jokes.
Your laugh
I get it, it’s gonna be like this for a while.

Thanksgiving is gonna pass, and Christmas.
I’m gonna miss how you told me that 93.9 is playing Christmas music, and how you’d take me to go see the tree in downtown.

I get it. Things are gonna be different now.

I remember that day we caught a flat tire on my birthday, and you still drove the hour to Gurnee to take me to ******* Barrel and you brought me that sock monkey.

Don’t think I didn’t stop and think about the things you did for me by doing the best you could with what you had.
that’s the real struggle.

I was ungrateful. I get it.
But I still loved you deep down.
And I always will. Now I will.

See I ain’t talking about how miserable I am. How guilty I feel. I’m trying to be happy for you. To remember you and all the good times we had.
Cause that’s all i can do.

You passing away has made me realize just how much of a messed up person I was. & I’m going to fix that.

see,
I love you mom.
I’ve always have. I was just too stubborn and angry to realize it.
And I’m sorry.

by V.I.V. , 2015
       ~ For my Mother.
I wish I could convince myself she never existed
I wish I could shatter, rip, and burn every image I have of her in my mind
Cause my eyes keep seeing her so clearly
I don't even have to close them

*Will it if the wish is mine.
If it's mine...


Oh, I seen a picture of that girl today.
you traced over my skin
and i was so caught up
in trying to understand
the patterns you made
that i didn't realize
the gashes you left.
"Alexander son of Philip, and the Greeks except the Lacedaemonians--"

We can very well imagine
that they were utterly indifferent in Sparta
to this inscription. "Except the Lacedaemonians",
but naturally. The Spartans were not
to be led and ordered about
as precious servants. Besides
a panhellenic campaign without
a Spartan king as a leader
would not have appeared very important.
O, of course "except the Lacedaemonians."

This too is a stand. Understandable.

Thus, except the Lacedaemonians at Granicus;
and then at Issus; and in the final
battle, where the formidable army was swept away
that the Persians had massed at Arbela:
which had set out from Arbela for victory, and was swept away.

And out of the remarkable panhellenic campaign,
victorious, brilliant,
celebrated, glorious
as no other had ever been glorified,
the incomparable: we emerged;
a great new Greek world.

We; the Alexandrians, the Antiocheans,
the Seleucians, and the numerous
rest of the Greeks of Egypt and Syria,
and of Media, and Persia, and the many others.
With our extensive territories,
with the varied action of thoughtful adaptations.
And the Common Greek Language
we carried to the heart of Bactria, to the Indians.

As if we were to talk of Lacedaemonians now!
Are those parts of my folly?
Those words that I carve to end up with a poesy
I love my hobby in a way that it's kicky
In a sense that in this world, I am free

That a pauper can be a hero daily
For in reality, those events happen in paucity
But it's my wish that this occurrence will not be of perpetuity
For most of the poor possessed a heart of humbly

But really, of most battle poor can hardly get the victory
But it's always to them belongs my sympathy
That If only I got the key to end up their poverty
I will not think twice, simply I'll set them free...

Written: June 30, 2001 @ 8:12 am

Mysterious Aries
i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"

   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"

so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"

i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"

before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"

   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."

and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried
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